Silent Night, Deadly Night Box Set (DVD)
Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Bill Moseley, Richard Beymer, Robert Culp, Samantha Scully (Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! (1989)); Clint Howard, Neith Hunter, Tommy Hinkley, Reggie Bannister (Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 (1990)); Neith Hunter, Clint Howard, Mickey Rooney, Brian Bremer (Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991))
Directed by Monte Hellman (Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! (1989)); Brian Yuzna (Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 (1990)); Martin Kitrosser (Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991))
Distributed by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Wow. Where to even begin? Of all the killer on the loose franchises out there, there's none stranger than the Silent Night, Deadly Night series. The first film was mired in controversy because it featured a psycho in a Santa suit. The second film was more or less all of the good footage from the first film with a couple of extra things thrown in. And the third, fourth, and fifth in the series (which are included here) ... Holy shit! Want to watch three bat-shit nuts films that are both incredible and epic in their ridiculousness? Look no further. This three-disc set is the mother lode of ludicrous.
I'm not going to bother reviewing each film because it's nearly impossible to put into words just how bad each of these films is on its own merits. Yet, they're so fucking out there that if I were reviewing them based solely upon how they rate on the ever-so-entertaining "WHAT THE FUCK?" scale, they'd be taking home perfect scores! Instead I'll just tell you a little ... very little ... about each and you can decide for yourself if you wanna watch them.
Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! is the only entry here that follows the storyline created by the first two films and features a really young Bill Moseley as the Christmas hating big bad. What's so ridiculous about that? Let me explain ... Moseley plays the killer, Ricky, with a blood-filled plastic-domed bed pan on his head that houses his brain from the elements. Being that an evil scientist has tinkered with his grey matter, he's also psychically linked to a fellow patient of the good doctor - a blind chick who inexplicably shares his murderous visions. Good thing Robert Culp is on board to collect a payche... I mean to hunt down the bubble-headed loony.
The next film in the franchise, Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4, was directed by Brian Yuzna and is the first flick totally independent of the killer Santa storyline. Here we have a bimbo Jewish reporter who, through an unbelievable set of circumstances, ends up being lured into a witch's coven, chased around by giant insects (courtesy of Screaming Mad George's always kickin' F/X work), and eventually humped to near death by Clint Howard wearing a giant cock mask. Don't ask me. I don't know. Moving on ...
Finally we come to the series' end, Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker. In this one Mickey Rooney, yes that Mickey Rooney, plays a disturbed toymaker who builds an anatomically incorrect son who makes booby-trapped killer toys as a means to deliver mayhem to the people who now live in their old house. Of course the horny toy-boy ends up having a showdown with the Mom in the movie in which he tries to hump her to death with his cockless plastic groin while shouting "I LOVE YOU, MOMMY! I WANT YOU, MOMMY! I LOVE YOU, MOMMY! LET ME BE YOUR REAL SON! I LOVE YOU, MOMMY!" Yep, I am not kidding.
These three films are enough to ruin just about anyone's Christmas. Combined they play like some macabre version of the Seven Dwarfs -- Sleazy, Crawly, Creepy, Bubblehead, Gropy, Stupid, and Cockless. Hi-fuckin'-Ho, Ho, Ho!
2 1/2 out of 5
0 out of 5
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