Seduction, The (DVD)
Mike Phalin
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Starring Morgan Fairchild, Andrew Stevens, Morgan Fairchild’s Body
Directed by David Schmoeller
Distributed by Anchor Bay Entertainment
Woo! Hollywood! I love that place. It’s chock full of good looking people, fab looking houses and gorgeous homes. The shopping is heart-stoppingly splendid, and all the fashions there are top-notch. Oh, how I have dreamy dreams of one day living in such a super place.
OK, I am done getting in touch with my feminine side. The above pretty much sums up The Seduction. Sure, there’s a story in there about Jamie Douglas (Morgan Fairchild) being stalked and terrorized by an off-center photographer named Derek (Andrew Stevens), but that never seems to matter much when the credits roll.
Jamie Douglas is quite the posh news reporter. She’s got an amazing home in the hills, a rather unattractive significant other, and crock shits of cash. Things could not be finer except for one little snake in the garden: a mysterious shutterbug who is hung up on her beauty. He has a wall full of candid pictures of her, watches her swim naked, and makes lewd calls to her house. Derek’s intentions grow ever more violent as he realizes Jamie doesn’t want anything to do with him.
Sigh. For every beautiful thing in this movie, there are at least 10 uglies. It’s like meeting a hot girl at a bar and then being introduced to her entourage of big bitchy fat friends. The locations, both interior and exterior, are very pleasing to the eye as is Morgan Fairchild in her first feature film role. It doesn’t matter if she has clothes on or not; she still captures your attention and won’t let go even while blurting out cringe-worthy dialogue. That was the first strike. If the audience can’t stand the words spoken between characters, it is going to be a rough ride to credits town no matter how scenic the drive is.
How about that story? One would think that after Jamie is assaulted in her house, the police would be interested in fingerprints, witness accounts, or even a quick look around the area for anyone fitting the assailant’s description. Ha … good luck. The cops give the wealthy couple a shrug and go about their business of sitting around stapling papers. Oh, if only it was still like that today … Margot Kidder would have never known it was me running around her lawn with only a Superman cape on. I blame myself for her downfall.
Things progress further down the dummy trail when Derek kills Jamie’s lover boy right in front of her while they do the nasty pants dance in the hot tub. What is Mrs. Douglas’ reaction? That of watching a dog cross the road. Not one tear, not one whimper, but plenty of “What the fuck!? Run you crazy bitch!” from the audience.
The Seduction does gain a few points at the end when we are treated to Morgan Fairchild using a shotgun on her suductee. We have no idea how and when she learned to use the shotgun, but it’s gleeful nonetheless. Oh snap, now the cops care? Of course … you need to report a murder for anyone to show up. Then the movie ends … Derek got shot, and we can go about our lives forgetting this film.
For a movie that seems to have stayed out of the public eye for over 20 years, the DVD comes crammed with extras. While the “Remembering” featurettes are anything but memorable, the audio commentary becomes far more interesting than the film. Director David Schmoeller and producer Irwin Yablans give the viewer lots of insight into the movie’s production, casting choices, and the relevance of the story in today’s environment. I wouldn’t say that this film was ahead of its time, but it does make one think about the lines fans and even the paparazzi step over just to get a few pictures or scoop.
It is difficult to categorize The Seduction anywhere in the horror genre. If you were to cut out the nudity, it would pass with flying colors as a Lifetime movie, but as a “thriller” it fails to leave even the slightest impression. On the other hand you get to see Morgan Fairchild totally nude a few times, and that’s gotta be worth something … like a quick excuse to make a return trip to the video rental store to rent something better.
Special Features:
Remembering The Seduction
The Seduction and The Law
Remembering The Locations and Production
Audio Commentary with Director David Schmoeller and Producer Irwin Yablans
Theatrical Trailer
2 out of 5
Categorized:Reviews
