Halloween 5: Divimax Edition
Steve Barton
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Starring Danielle Harris, Donald Pleasence, Matthew Walker, Ellie Cornell, Wendy Kaplan, and Don Shanks
Directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard
Distributed by Anchor Bay Entertainment
In 1988 Michael Myers made a triumphant return to the big screen. About a year later he was back for revenge. The truth is, you can never keep a good villain at bay for long. When we last saw Michael, he was falling down a hole after being blasted numerous times by various guns. The hole was then sealed with the help of some dynamite, and that was that. Or so everyone thought.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers starts right there. You see The Shape braving the rapids of an underground water source until he washes up at the entrance of a hermit and his parrot Snookie’s lair. The old man cares for Michael for one whole year, but then just as the clock strikes midnight on October 31st, he’s up and killing, looking once again for his niece Jamie, who narrowly escaped him in their last go-around. To further complicate matters, the two now have a psychic bond. Yeah. I know. Anyway, Michael and Jamie aren’t the only pieces of the puzzle this time. Of course Loomis is back, but even he has a bit of company. An anti-Loomis if you will. The mysterious man in black! *cue needlessly dramatic music for stupid plot twist here* The man in black (not Johnny Cash, for you easily confused country folk) is actually stalking Michael and lending a hand when needed. Speaking of hands, both Michael and the man in black even share the same tattoo above their wrists. What does this all mean? Who knows. I stopped caring about fifteen minutes in.
Halloween 5 does have its moments. There are a few scenes like the laundry chute sequence that truly shine. It’s just too bad the good parts are sandwiched in between slapstick noises during the film’s comic relief and the worst mask of the entire franchise. To this very day, I marvel at the fact that this latex monstrosity was given the okay. Didn’t anyone see the other films? We live in an age in which giant twenty-foot mechanical T-Rexes can rampage through film after film, yet no one can replicate William Shatner’s modified mug?! The mask in this movie is not only bad, it’s annoying. But not nearly as annoying as the other main character, Tina (Wendy Kaplan). I’ve sat through a lot of bad movies with even worse characters, but Tina? I wanted to choke her to death with my shoelace. Not even her split-second nipple slip could distract me from the burning hatred that I would feel growing in my soul every second she was on-screen.
A lot of folks blame the filmmakers of Halloween 6 for it sucking big time. Me? I blame the writers and directors of this shit-fest for the next film in the series being so abysmal. The fact is there was just too much of a mess left behind for them to have to clean up from Halloween 5. Who was the man in black? What’s with the zany tattoos? Etc. At least they had an OK mask in Part 6, but my rant for that flick will be reserved for another day.
So the question beckons once again — To or not to double dip. The only things new here other than the stellar Divimax transfer are a seven-minute behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film and a commentary. While the commentaries on the re-release of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers warranted a purchase in and of themselves, the one here just infuriated me further. Of course Danielle Harris and her co-star Jeff Landham were sweet, but the director, Dominique Othenin-Girard, came off so pretentious that I’m still fighting back the urge to personally track down the tri-named Frenchman just to give him a piece of my mind.
AND FOR CHRISSAKES, WHO OKAYED THAT FRIGGIN’ MASK!?!?
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I’m a kitten, you’re a kitten. I’m a kitten, you’re a kitten. Ahem, let’s move on.
Returning supplements from the previous release include an inside look at the making of Halloween 5, a quick intro by Ellie and Danielle, and the theatrical trailer.
Anchor Bay has provided us with a DVD that, given the quality of the film, is way better than it deserves to be. It looks good. It sounds good. Even the extras are more than enough. The only trouble here is that no matter how much air freshener you spray around a turd, the odor of shit will waft back sooner or later. Good DVD, bad movie, do what you will.
Special Features
Introduction by Ellie Cornell and Danielle Harris
Audio commentary with stars Jeffrey Landham, Danielle Harris, and big part of the reason this film sucked, Dominique Othenin-Girard
On-set Halloween 5 footage
Inside Halloween 5 featurette
Trailer
3 out of 5
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