Eye, The (DVD)
Steve Barton
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Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, Parker Posey, Rade Serbedzija
Directed by David Moreau and Xavier Palud
Distributed by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Being blind is lots of fun!
Being blind! Being bliiind!
Being blind is number one!
Being blind! Being bliiind!
Who needs sight, when the dark’s just right?
Being blind! Being bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!
See that awkward song I made up? While obviously not in the movie itself, it does mimic the bubble gum style feel-good music at the end of this would-be spooker. Honestly? It’s the perfect exclamation point on what has to be one of the most flaccid horror film experiences of 2008.
The Pang Brothers’ original The Eye was an acceptable little ghost vehicle about a girl who’s had a cornea transplant. The only problem? Her donor was a young girl who was able to see the dead, and the transplant enables her “gift” to be passed on to the new recipient. This remake shares the identical plot but manages to leave out everything that made the Chinese film even moderately successful. There are times when it’s damned near a shot-for-shot retelling minus any scares and suspense of course, and then there are times when liberties were taken that made the already bad film suck even harder.
See Jennifer Alba revolt against electricity!
Chuckle at the lack of chemistry between her and everyone else in the film!
Gaze in horror at the changed sugary sweet ending!
And don’t forget to bounce along to the inane pop song at the end!
Simply put … this movie is a friggin’ mess. If you want a more detailed review of it, go and read Andrew’s review of The Eye here. He pretty much nails it. On to the special features.
Yep, if you want to learn more about this flick (I’m looking at all the gluttons for punishment out there), then you’re in luck. That is, if you want to call it that. There are four making-of featurettes, a few deleted scenes, and the trailer for you to sift through. Disc Two of this “Special Edition” is nothing more than a digital copy of the film. You know, in case you’re in the mood for some portable suckage not of the oral variety.
What we have here, folks, is the horror equivalent of an after school special for fourteen-year-old girls. If you’re within that bracket, you’ll probably love The Eye. Me? I wish I could unwatch it. Sing it with me now …
Being blind is lots of fun!
Being blind! Being bliiind! ….
Special Features
2 out of 5
Special Features:
3 out of 5
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