Dead of Winter (DVD)
Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Ella Joyce, Brian McNamara, Don Fischer, Al Santos, Sandra McCoy
Directed by Brian McNamara
Distributed by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Sigh. Where to begin? Okay, let's start with the quote on the back cover that reads: "Combines the bleak cold winter terror of 30 Days of Night with the chilling white-knuckle tension of The Shining". Um ... What movie was this dude watching? Those films had vampires, ghosts, axe murderers, etc. Know what this one had? Before we get into that, let's start with the storyline such as it is.
A young couple go to a friend's New Year's Eve party where they do some crystal meth. After getting into a tiff with the party's host, our tweaking duo decide the best thing they can do is get into their car and drive home in the snow. Of course the car crashes, and before you know it, our wonder-schmucks end up lost and wandering in the woods where they find ... wait for it ... wait ... for ... it ...
Nothing. That's right, nothing. Who needs creatures and horror when you have two whiny amped-up morons!?! To even mention this film in the same sentence as 30 Days of Night, much less The Shining, is nothing short of a journalistic sin.
There are no surprises here, and there's even less suspense since you know everything the two are seeing isn't remotely happening. The bigger problem? Even the shit that they are seeing is lame. Oh look, a group of people are standing still behind a fence! The horror! Is that plow chasing me? The terror! Hey, my phone's ringing! Holy shit, it's the person standing right next to me on the other end of the receiver! I can't stand the fright!
But you know what? Even with all that mediocrity the filmmakers still manage to give us their take on a twist ending that you can see coming from within the first half-hour of the movie. And guess what? This is all "BASED ON TRUE EVENTS". Yeah thanks. Screw you.
The only thing that saves this flick from garnering itself a rating of zero is the solid performances turned in by the cast. Too bad the writers didn't give them something worthy of their efforts.
Thankfully there are no extras to speak of other than a still gallery and some trailers that look even worse than this incredibly bland outing.
Do yourself a favor and steer yourself far away from this one. Predictable, vanilla, and boring, Dead of Winter is about as visceral a horror experience as Frosty the Snowman. Ugh.
1 out of 5
1 out of 5
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