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Flu Bird Horror (2008)




Flu Bird Horror!Reviewed by The Foywonder

Starring Clare Carey, Lance Guest, Jonathan Trent, Sarah Butler, Rebekah Cochan

Directed by Leigh Scott

When Leigh Scott first informed me that the Sci-Fi Channel had hired him to direct Flu Bird Horror (or as it will be known very shortly on DVD: Flu Birds) he described it as The Birds meets Cabin Fever. Then the rewritten script arrived. Just having a group of teens in the woods when birds go on the attack infected with the dreaded avian flu apparently didn’t have a good enough hook to it for the Sci-Fi Channel. Now juvenile delinquents trapped in the woods by bird monsters that look like a cross between a vulture and a pterodactyl that also happen to be infected with a mutated strain of bird flu that causes symptoms more akin to the flesh eating virus… Make mine Sci-Fi!

Before anyone cackles or scoffs, the scenario presented here still struck me as being more plausible than the one portrayed in that apocalyptic Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America movie ABC aired two years ago; the one that was so tacky it had a counter at the bottom of the screen that popped up periodically to let viewers know how many countless millions had already fallen victim to the avian flu.

That film also didn’t have Rodan babies flying around eating people, a real crowd pleaser in my book. The threat of a contagious flu virus that acts more like super leprosy is practically relegated to the secondary threat, a sentiment I agree with because after years of hearing how bird flu is going to kill us all eventually I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a better chance of being pecked to death by monster birds first.

Those zombie buzzards are the true stars of Flu Bird Horror – both ghastly and goofy all at the same time even as they gorily devour victims. Scott wisely mixes computer effects with practical effects for a more convincing combination even if those practical bird head puppets that brought to mind Gappa from Monster from the Prehistoric Planet are sometimes downright comical in appearance. Still better to be a bit silly than boring.

Flu Bird Horror!Our primary beastly bird bait are members of a “Teens at Risk” group consisting of assorted juvenile delinquents – everything from hookers to hackers to white rappers – all perfectly suited for a local stage production of Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning. I don’t think it would be inappropriate to call them a motley collection of dumbasses. There’s not a single teen in this bunch that’s likeable – not even the ones that are supposed to be likeable. One of them is more than a little borderline sociopathic and in the end he’s given a big moment that’s supposed to redeem him somewhat. I didn’t want this guy redeemed; I wanted to see him get reamed, preferably by the beaks of diseased winged creatures.

Also, by the third act, judging by actress Rebekah Cochan’s tank top, she was suffering from the most serious case of boob sweat I’ve ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

FYI – these “teens” are teens of the “90210” persuasion; all but one is supposed to be under the age of 18 and that alleged 18-year old actually looked younger than most of the others. On the plus side, I can’t complain about the acting. I can complain about the dialogue, but I can’t complain about the actors themselves.

Only minutes removed from the opening credits and the teens are already on the run; their counselor becomes bird food and some of them are already wounded and infected. They’ll take refuge in a series of cabins and forts and what not trying to stave off mutant avian expiration while still thinning their herd a bit of their own doing.

Meanwhile, Lance Guest… Remember him from Jaws 3-D and The Last Starfighter? Now he looks like he should be playing Jason Lee’s brother on “My Name is Earl”. Guest happens upon another mutant bird victim still alive on the side of the road. I somehow missed exactly what his job title was. Not that his official job description ultimately matters much.

What matters is that he takes the diseased man to the nearby hospital where the local doctor lady (Clare Carey of the twice cancelled “Jericho”) with whom he has a past. She deduces the improbable mutant strain of ultra bird ebola or whatever the hell it has become.

Flu Bird Horror!The whole virus aspect makes little sense. They can call it bird flu until they’re blue in the face but it’s not. There’s also no continuity as to how fast victims succumb to it. I’d complain about such matters accept doing so would be a moot point since the screenplay never bothers to explain much of anything about the origins of the mutant birds and their mutant virus. Pretty much everything wrong with the film can be traced back to the nonsensical script.

The two of them will leave the hospital behind in favor of trying to rescue the teens in the woods once the big bad US government arrives to quarantine the hell out of the place. The government agent in charge of dealing with this potential outbreak appeared to be on loan from the KGB. He’s so callous he should have had a button on that read “I (heart) Acceptable Casualties”.

The rest of the film pretty much plays out how you’d expect from a film like this to play out.

Yet somehow, almost miraculously, Flu Bird Horror remains fairly watchable and I honestly don’t know how Scott and company pulled it off all things considered. This movie really should have been not just bad, but painfully so. I still can’t call it a good movie, but I have to say the combination of silly monsters on the attack, swift pacing that kept things from getting boring, and a conceptual train wreck quality kept me watching. Though I can’t wholeheartedly recommend the film, I will say it’s still more entertaining than a slew of recent Sci-Fi Channel original movies of late I could name.

2 1/2 out of 5

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Desolation Review – The Joy of Being Rescued and All the Surprises That Come With It



Starring Raymond J. Barry, Brock Kelly, Dominik Garcia-Lorido

Directed by David Moscow

It’s those random, once-in-a-lifetime encounters that only a select few get the chance to experience: when we as regular participants in this wonderful thing known as The Rat Race, stumble across a soul that we’ve only witnessed on the big screen. I’m talking about a celebrity encounter, and while some of the masses will chalk the experience up as nothing more than a passing moment, others hold it to a much larger interior scale…then you REALLY get to know the person, and that’s when things get interesting.

Director David Moscow’s thriller, Desolation follows shy hotel employee Katie (Lorido) and her “fortuitous” brush with Hollywood pretty-boy Jay (Kelly) during one of his stops – the two hit it off, and together they begin a sort of whirlwind-romance that takes her away from her job and drops her in the heart of Los Angeles at the apartment building he resides in. You can clearly see that she has been a woman who’s suffered some emotional trauma in her past, and this golden boy just happens to gallop in on his steed and sweep her off of her feet, essentially rescuing her from a life of mundane activity. She gets the full-blown treatment: a revamped wardrobe, plenty of lovin’, and generally the life she’s wanted for some time.

Things return to a bit of normalcy when Jay has to return to work, leaving Katie to spread out at his place, but something clearly isn’t kosher with this joint. With its odd inhabitants (a very creepy priest played by Raymond J. Barry), even more bizarre occurrences, and when one scared young woman cannot even rely on the protection from the local police, it all adds up to a series of red flags that would have even the strongest of psyches crying for their mothers. What Moscow does with this movie is give it just enough swerves so that it keeps your skull churning, but doesn’t overdo its potential to conclusively surprise you, and that’s what makes the film an entertaining watch.

While Lorido more than holds her ground with her portrayal of a woman who has been hurt in the past, and is attempting to place her faith in a new relationship, it’s Barry that comes out on top here. His performance as Father Bill is the kind of stuff that wouldn’t exactly chill you to the bone, but he’s definitely not a man of the cloth that you’d want to be stuck behind closed doors with – generally unsettling. As I mentioned earlier, the plot twists are well-placed, and keep things fresh just when you think you’ve got your junior private investigator badge all shined up. Desolation is well-worth a look, and really has kicked off 2018 in a promising fashion – let’s see what the other 11 months will feed us beasts.

  • Film


Got your eye on that shining movie star or starlet? Better make sure it’s what you really want in life – you know what they say about curiosity.

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Wolf Guy Blu-ray Review – Sonny Chiba As A Werewolf Cop In ’70s Japan



Wolf Guy UK SleeveStarring Sonny Chiba, Etsuko Nami, Kyosuke Machida

Directed by Kazuhiko Yamaguchi

Distributed by Arrow Video

As virtually every American adaptation has proven, translating manga to the big screen is a job best left to Japanese filmmakers. There is an inherent weirdness – for lack of a better term – to their cultural media that should be kept “in house” if there is to be any hope for success. Ironically, the stories are often so fantastical and wildly creative that a big American studio budget would be necessary to fully realize such a live-action vision. But I digress. Back in 1975, Toei Studios (home of Gamera) adapted the 1970 manga series Wolf Guy into a feature of the same name. Starring the legendary Shin’ichi Chiba (a.k.a. Sonny Chiba), who at that time was in his prime, the film combines elements of crime and psychedelic cinema, delivering less of a werewolf film (despite the title suggesting otherwise) and more of a boilerplate crime caper with a cop who has a few tricks up his hairy sleeve. I should stress it is the story that plays fairly straightforward, while the film itself is a wild kaleidoscope of strange characters and confounding situations… mostly.

An unseen killer, known only as “The Tiger”, prowls the streets at night slashing victims to death and leaving behind no trace. Beat cop Akira Inugami (Sonny Chiba) is on the case, and he has an advantage over his fellow brothers in blue: being a werewolf. As the opening credits flashback shows, Akira is the sole survivor of the Inugami clan of werewolves after a slaughter wiped out the rest of his kind. Now, as the last of his brethren, he uses his acute lycanthropic skills, under the auspices of the moon, to track down underworld thugs and solve cases uniquely tailored to his abilities. As the lunar cycle of the moon sees it growing fuller Akira’s powers, too, increase to superhuman levels.

Searching for this mysterious “Tiger”, Akira is led into a subterranean world of clandestine government organizations, nightclub antics, and corrupt politicians. One night, Akira is attacked and taken prisoner by a government research lab that wants to use his blood to create werewolves they can control. Only problem is – which they don’t realize – Akira’s blood cannot be mixed with that of a human; the only end result is death. Miki (Etsuko Nami), a drug user with syphilis, comes to Akira’s aid and proves to be quite useful. She holds a secret that has the potential to vastly change Akira’s world but, first, a showdown with the criminal underbelly looms on the horizon… as does the fifteenth day of the Lunar Cycle, when Akira will be made nearly invincible.

First, some bad news: Sonny Chiba never attains full werewolf status. This is not that movie. Sure, he growls and snarls and sneers and possesses many of the traits of a werewolf but in terms of physical characteristics he more or less remains “human” the entire time. Yes, even during “Lunar Cycle Day 15”, a.k.a. the moment every viewer is waiting for, to see him turn into a wolf. Instead, he just winds up kicking a lot of ass and taking very little damage. To be fair, a grizzled Sonny Chiba is still enough of a formidable presence, but, man, to see him decked out as a full-on kung-fu fighting werewolf would’ve been badass. The film could have done better at tempering expectations because it builds up “Day 15” like viewers are going to see an explosion of fur and flesh, instead it’s just plenty of the latter. Aw, well.

Lack of werewolf-ing aside, the film plays out a bit uneven. The opening offers up a strong start, with The Tiger attack, wily underworld characters being introduced, and a tripped-out acid garage rock soundtrack (which I’d kill for a copy of). But Second Act Lag is a real thing here and many of the elements that may have piqued viewer curiosity in the first act are scuttled, and although the third act and climax bring forth fresh action and a solution to the mystery it also feels a bit restrained. Then again, this is Toei, often seen as a cheaper Toho. Wolf Guy serves as a good introduction to Akira Inugami and his way of life, which makes it a greater shame no sequels were produced.

Presented with a 2.35:1 1080p image, Wolf Guy hits Blu-ray with a master supplied by Toei, meaning Arrow did no restorative work of their own on the picture – and it shows. Japanese film elements, especially those of older films, are often notorious for being poorly housed and feebly restored. This transfer is emblematic of those issues, with hazy black levels, average-to-poor definition, minimal shadow detail, and film grain that gets awfully noisy at times. The best compliment I can give is daylight close-up scenes exhibit a pleasing level of fine detail, though nothing too eye-popping. This is a decidedly mediocre transfer across the board.

The score fares a bit better, not because the Japanese LPCM 1.0 mono mix is a beast but because the soundtrack is so wildly kinetic, exploding with wild garage rock and fuzzy riffs right from the get-go. Dialogue has a slight hiss on the letter “s” but is otherwise nicely balanced within the mix. Subtitles are available in English.

“Kazuhiko Yamaguchi: Movies with Guts” is a September 2016 sit-down with the film’s director, who reflects on his career and working with an icon like Sonny Chiba.

“Toru Yoshida: B-Movie Master” is an interview with Yoshida, a former producer at Toei who oversaw this film and many others.

“Sonny Chiba: A Life in Action, Vol. 1” covers the man’s career up to a point, with the remainder finished on Arrow’s other 2017 Chiba release, Doberman Cop.

A theatrical trailer is also included, as is a DVD copy of the feature.

Special Features:

  • Kazuhiko Yamaguchi: Movies with Guts
  • Toru Yoshida: B-Movie Master
  • Sonny Chiba: A Life in Action, Vol. 1
  • Theatrical trailer
  • Wolf Guy
  • Special Features


While the film might be a bit of a letdown given what is suggested, fans of bizarre Japanese ’70s cinema – and certainly fans of Chiba’s work – should, at the least, have fun with this title.

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Inside (Remake) Review – Is It as Brutal as the Original?



Starring Rachel Nichols Laura Harring

Directed by Miguel Ángel Vivas

While the directing duo of the cringe-inducing and original 2007 French grand guignol thriller Inside have gone on to refurbishments of their own—Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo recently helmed a retread of Leatherface’s origin story—their flick now has an American stamp on it with the release of the remake, also titled Inside.

A cheerless Christmas eve sets the stage for heavily-pregnant widow Sarah’s (Rachel Nichols) oncoming ordeal. It’s a frigid and snowy night. She’s got a huge house to herself, following the accidental and violent death of her husband. She wants to sell the home that was meant to hold a family, to forget the nascent memories it once held. But she’s got to ride it out until the baby is born. While Sarah is lonesome, she won’t be alone. She’s got her genial gay neighbor nearby, and her mum is going to come and stay with her for a few days. Oh, and there will be an unexpected visitor too.

When a shadowy, seemingly stranded stranger (Laura Harring) knocks on the door pleading to be let inside, Sarah instinctively balks. She even calls the cops. But the woman leaves and all seems well. Crisis averted. Sarah puts the housekeys in the mailbox outside for Mom, and goes to bed. Big mistake.

Mystery Lady shows up at Sarah’s bedside armed with chloroform, an IV bag, and a case full of sharp-and-pointies (sorry, ’07 fans… those implements do not include a pair of scissors). The horror unfolds and the expected yet lively game of gory cat-and-mouse ensues. Then the tete-a-tete becomes a body-count chiller featuring one shocking moment after another.

Nichols is fantastic in the role, giving it her all. When the original Inside came out eleven years ago, she was starring in another French-helmed horror, P2—also set on Christmas eve—and she stole the show. She does the same here but with a less-intense adversary. Harring’s killer character, unlike her European counterpart, has a lot to say—which takes away from her initially mysterious manner as the minutes tick off. Still, the girl-on-girl action is a welcome change from the usual gender dynamic one sees in these things. Both deserve kudos for their performances.

While Inside isn’t a died-in-the-wool “Hollywood” remake (Miguel Ángel Vivas directs, while [REC] co-creator Jaume Balagueró wrote it) it feels like one. For those who’ve seen the original, there will be mild disappointment (which turns to major letdown at the very end). However, Inside is still a serviceable thriller that’s well-acted, beautifully shot, and effectively scored. Folks coming in fresh, and casual horror fans, will more than likely enjoy it.

  • Inside (Remake)


Inside is a serviceable thriller that’s well-acted, beautifully shot, and effectively scored. Folks coming in fresh, and casual horror fans, will more than likely enjoy it. For those who’ve seen the original, there will be mild disappointment (which turns to major letdown at the very end).

User Rating 1.75 (4 votes)
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