Shadows Light (DVD)

Shadows Light DVD Review (click for larger image)Reviewed by Kryten Syxx

Starring Tom Phillips, Tucky Williams, Jessica Kline

Directed by Stephen Zimmer

Distributed by Ever After Media

Oh, we must have angered the Independent Video Gods somehow! This is probably karma for how much ass we kicked during Comic-Con, because no one should have to suffer through a film like Shadows Light!

Our main character, the heroic priest who is worn out from fighting Satan with stiff words, isn’t going to catch a break any time soon. The fallen and the struggling still need his help to escape the grasp of the Devil, who now embodies a business man with evil tentacles that control every aspect of the local government and night life.

What does the dark prince use to lure the unsuspecting into his midst? Charm? Money? Women? Nope, none of those things would suffice. The disguised slayer of souls employs a bad Captain Kirk impression (complete with long pauses between words) and his bi-sexual female accomplice to do their luring. What a duo! He drones on and on with no menace or character while she oozes so much evil it is amazing anyone even falls for her tricks. But, when you are desperate for the poon, even horrible acting won’t stop you from dipping your pen in some sinister ink.

Shadows Light DVD Review (click for larger image)What follows this set-up is a long and drawn out battle of close-up stare downs, flaming light saber battles, and a monster that looks like it is ready for a full time job on the other end of a glory hole. No, I am not messing around, this is what all comes packed in Shadows Light, and that doesn’t include the three (!) commentary tracks, interviews and SFX featurette!

The acting is … below even my expectations. There’s bad acting, then there’s bad acting. When most of the cast appears to be reading their lines off of cue cards or just happened to rehearse them for the first time just minutes before the camera was rolling, you can bet that a high score is not coming. Even the direction is out of whack; a character who must be evil in a subtle or seductive way shouldn’t speak snobbishly while pausing after every third word to make sure the icky blackness of their naughtiness seeps in. We get it! He/she is evil!

Hey, but at least the special effects are keen! In a way that is. The flaming swords the audience are shown during the battle between the Dark Prince and the escaped Night Elf from World of Warcraft can be a bit flashy … in one second intervals. Other than that, this is less exciting than the “old man duel” in A New Hope. The opponents spin, flourish and we get more close ups of eyes! Ya can never have enough of them!

Another key special effects sequence introduces us to what Spawn would have looked like if the flick was done on a super low budget. Instead of latex, Spawn would have donned a wrestling mask as an agent of evil, but he also would have gotten one of those kick ass pyro sabers. Oh, and hell is really orange. The filmmakers must have known how much I hated Tang, because there’s been no movie in history that has assaulted me with so much of that color. Damn Tang…

Sorry, it’s hard to sell this movie on any level. It … it just sucked.

In short, there’s nothing really redeeming about Shadows Light. It may be an FX heavy indie film, but the story surrounding it gets swallowed up by the sub par dialog, acting and some artistic choices that may leave you with the urge to play World of Warcraft instead.

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Shadows Light DVD Review (click for larger image)

Special Features

  • Production Gallery
  • SFX Featurette (?!)
  • Actors’ Interviews
  • Director Commentary
  • Actor Commentary
  • Production Commentary

    1/2 out of 5

    1 out of 5

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  • Mike Phalin

    Mike Phalin is a contributing writer, reality television star and engineer.

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    • Kryten Syxx

      Boy, sure glad I didn’t give Mercy, Edges of Darkness, Ghouligans, The: Super Show!, Boston Strangler: The Untold Story, Raising Jeffrey Dahmer or Colonel Kill good reviews and/or constructive reviews…

      Gotta keep those indie filmmakers down, ya know.

    • funnyface

      hey guys what do i have to do here cos i am new here and don know what the fuck ab’a this site………….can someone tell me something.

    • Ravenheart

      Sorry lads, you guys set the tone for discussion and I’m only discussing what I’m seeing here. I’m kind of amused that you apparently have nothing better to do than pounce on an indie film and pour on more insults because a viewer who is not part of the issue or filmmaking group happened to show up and take exception to your drivel. I applaud the quick responses. I suppose I should feel honored to be in the presence of such self-annointed kings. Maybe you’ll get what you give down the road. A true haven for indie filmmakers would give constructive criticism and commentary in something less than a sarcastic and snarky high school grade tone. From what I see here it appears to be a haven for, well, I’ll leave my tone polite.

      Where did I see it? I got a copy on Netflix after I saw a link to another movie themed in the same area. Good enough for you two?

      • Uncle Creepy

        Yes. Nothing else at all. Again, you should try your schtick (one that we’ve seen 100 times over) without the smarmy passive aggressive stuff. You may actually have a point or two to make.

        BTW … the fact that you paid to sit through this? Hilarious! Consider your Netflix account soiled. You have my deepest sympathies.

        • arandomthought

          Does this mean my comps soiled?

          Anyways, about the flick. I can sit through pretty much anything drunk, or sober. If I can’t sit through it one way, I can the other. This film actually hurt my eyes to watch, and the review was actually pretty much spot-on if you ask me.

          Ravenheart, don’t take this review personally I’m hoping to start making my own movies soon and I would consider myself lucky to get a single witty comment for it from these guys. I’d be able to find out what I’ve done wrong, find my own ways to fix it. Having a sarcastic review with snippy remarks should only make the creators strive to do better in the long run. So you shouldn’t take a defensive side with the film, or dread central, you should hope that this teams next effort is improved because of what was said in the review.

    • Ravenheart

      Uncle Creepy and Sirand,

      You are true wordsmiths. Such hostility for indie flicks is unbecoming of the both of you. Thanks for the heads up on the name of the reviewer. Evidently Red Dwarf names are interchangeable with mid-80’s hair band lead singers. sorry I got that one wrong.

      No, I’m not involved, but did see the flick and didn’t think it deserved the hostility. My response was specific. I disagree with the reviewer and you agree with the reviewer. Good for you. Opinions are opinions. I’m just partial to the heart that indie filmmakers go through to make a movie and the hell they go through just to get trashed by armchair quarterbacks like you guys. Go back to playing video games lads.

      • Uncle Creepy

        Ravenheart — I have no hostility toward indie films whatsoever. In fact, I’ve championed dozens of them, and Sirand is an indie filmmaker. The fact is this — a shitty movie is a shitty movie and we can only call them as we see them.

        And I agree with you, opinions are opinions, but maybe if you would have come and expressed yours regarding the review minus the needless sarcastic wit, and without resorting to 6th grade level attempts at making fun of a pen name, you’d be taken a little more seriously than you have been.

      • Sirand

        Did I mention I’m an indie filmmaker too? Doesn’t mean I’m gonna give crap a passing grade just because somebody bothered to push it out.

        And this is a backyard movie without distribution (it’s so amateurishly godawful it’s unreleasable) which means the only way you would have seen it is if you were the filmmaker or someone with ties to him.

        Dread Central is a haven for indie filmmakers – just don’t expect us to blow sunshine up their asses just because they’re out there doing it. We tell it like it is. The reason most indie filmmakers don’t grow is because of all the self-congratulatory people around them. But the world is not your parent’s fridge. At least we’re honest with what you show us. Accept it and do better with the next film.

    • Kryten Syxx

      Team Budget Spawn Assemble?

      • Uncle Creepy

        Form of …. oh never mind.

    • Ravenheart

      I really don’t know what movie this reviewer was watching, but I can’t remain silent when I see a review this “Dreadful”.

      I saw this movie and first of all it probably should not have been reviewed on Dread Central as it is clearly a fantasy movie and not horror.

      Apparently, this reviewer (who should not overestimate his or her coolness factor too much when using a name like “Kryten Syxx” which sounds like a bad imitation of a mid-80’s hair band’s lead singer) can’t fathom a story line more complex than the glut of torture-porn and “substitute type of villain chasing people around the woods” type indie flicks pervading the market.

      You might like this movie, you might not, but it is definitely more original and has some depth. For an indie flick, it has alot of content and characters.

      Are you telling me the succubus acted bad? The priest character? the younger sister? The Djinn? C’mon, give me a break. there might have been weak spots but there are definitely some good performances here. Its a mix, as it tends to be in indie movies.

      Considering the movie was shot before World of Warcraft came out, I wouldn’t crucify the filmmakers for having something that may currently have some visual relation to Night Elves.

      I agree that the sword fight was weak and that there are spots in this film that show the limitation of the indie world, but to just throw stones and say it sucked is really not being either fair or giving an honest analysis.

      Bottom line is that this is a pretty decent indie fantasy flick, probably did not belong on this site and forum, and it does attempt alot, succeeding in some areas and falling flat in others.

      • Sirand

        So how exactly are you involved with this movie? Are you the director, an actor, or family member?

      • Uncle Creepy

        Well then you should take your “why we shouldn’t have reviewed this because it’s not a horror film” points and ask the filmmakers why they submitted it to us for review. Apparently they thought it was a horror movie and since they made it, I’m guessing they could be right.

        And BTW … Syxx’s name is a direct reference to the cult favorite show, Red Dwarf. He’s a fan of both horror, Sci-Fi and fantasy. Sounds like the perfect person to review material like this, no?

        Believe me when I tell you he was a lot kinder than I would have been. This flick sucked like a fifty-cent whore on two-for-one day at the trailer park.