Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Michelle Bauer, Gunnar Hansen, Dennis Mooney, Linnea Quigley, Jay Richardson
Directed by Fred Olen Ray
Distributed by Retromedia
“The CHAINSAWS used in this movie are REAL and DANGEROUS! They are handled here by seasoned PROFESSIONALS . The makers of this Motion Picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous SEX.
My Conscience Is Clear!
Fred Olen Ray”
And with that we dive headlong into one of the sleaziest B-movies of the Eighties. A film whose sole reason for existence is to have naked chicks be splashed with blood and guts while handling running power tools of destruction. I ask you this … What’s not to like?
For those of you out there unfamiliar with the oddity that is Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and shame on you if you are, here’s a brief plot synopsis, such as it is …
Detective Jack Chandler (Richardson) is hot on the trail of a gorgeous young runaway, Samantha (Quigley). Little does he know that this case would lead him straight into the darkest underbelly of one of Los Angeles’ strangest religious cults. A sect that is headed up by a mysterious and evil man known only as — The Stranger (The original Leatherface — Gunnar Hansen). Can Jack rescue Samantha before she becomes one with the gods and performs The Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws before cutting him to ribbons? What do you think?
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is one of those flicks that are absolutely critic proof. You just cannot rate it by the normal is it good or bad scale. From a technical standpoint and standard, it’s a friggin’ poorly shot and poorly written mess. From a nostalgic, goofy, and perverse fun standpoint, it may just be one of the greatest films ever made. Sorry, gang, but this one is purely subjective to the viewer.
Given the obscurity of the film not too many 35mm prints of it still exist. In fact there’s only one, and it was used for this DVD transfer. All of the original wear and tear is present while watching, and honestly, it only adds to the film’s strange charm. There’s no need to digitally restore a movie like this. That would be akin to serving a Big Mac on fine china. Just take it and digest it for the yummy trash that it is.
This twentieth anniversary edition comes home with a couple of extras. First up is a great commentary with director Fred Olen Ray and writer T.L. Lankford. It’s a must listen. From there we have a twenty-three-minute making-of featurette that’s home to interviews with Olen Ray and stars Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer, an episode of Olen Ray’s short live TV show, Nite Owl Theatre, and the original trailer. Not too shabby!
In the mood to watch something that will make you feel as if you need to bathe later? Look no further! Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers comes with everything you need to get wet, wild, and dirty! Break out the brews, call up the buds, and don’t forget to wear your shower caps!
3 out of 5
3 out of 5
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