Student Bodies (DVD)

Steve Barton |

May 29, 2008

Starring Kristen Riter, Matt Goldsby, Richard Brando, Joe Flood

Directed by Mickey Rose

Distributed by Legend Films and Paramount Home Entertainment

The box for this film makes a dubious claim: The World’s First Horror Comedy. Um, no. Although this came many years before Scary Movie, I cannot help but call bullshit. What about Young Frankenstein? Hell, how about Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein? Something about that line just irritated me a bit. And upon watching Student Bodies again, I realized why it bothered me so — Because it’s nowhere near as good as either of those flicks.

Student Bodies is a send-up of every slasher movie out at the time. A killer known as “The Breather” played by Richard Belzer (under the name Richard Brando) is stalking a young virgin girl and killing her friends along the way in all manner of ludicrous ways such as death by paper clip, eggplant, garbage bag, and of course, horse-head bookend. Since said virgin finds every body, she is eventually labeled by her classmates as the killer. Good thing her boyfriend is out to help her prove her innocence as a means to finally get some.

The humor here is on the level of such greats as Airplane but mostly without the wit and talent of a formidable cast with the presence and smarts to sell the many silly set-ups and sight gags. There are a couple of truly fun and even somewhat inspired moments, but unfortunately most of the jokes that are hurled at you in rapid-fire succession fall flat. Miserably flat. The odd thing is that when this movie came out (I think I was about ten years old at the time), I thought it was hilarious. The years have not been kind to Student Bodies. Not kind at all. Then again, maybe I’ve matured. Oh, who am I kidding? Me? Mature? Now that’s funny!

From a supplemental standpoint, just like the film itself, there’s nothing to see here. Honestly? I’m almost thankful. I don’t think I could have taken much more.

Sometimes when you revisit things you remember loving from your childhood, those memories end up getting tainted. Was there really a time that I actually loved this flick? I do believe there was. Then again, I also used to like He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, and now I cringe every time I see Prince Adam decked out in lavender and pink. It’s no wonder why “fabulous secret powers were revealed to him when he held aloft his magic sword!”

Watch at your own risk.

Special Features

This flick was never really that special to begin with!

Film: