Run Like Hell (2014)

Run Like HellStarring Dave Finn, Robyn Buck, Tamara Carey, J. Michael Briggs

Directed by James Thomas

To bash a movie such as Run Like Hell would be an unfair attack to be completely honest; however, in order to be totally sincere and uphold my position as an equitable reviewer, then I’m afraid I’ve got to break out the whoopin’ hammer and give this movie the rightful clubbing it deserves.

The notion of a car full of annoying people being stalked by a psychotic family is so blatantly overdone, it would take a creative avalanche of colossal proportions to make a ripple as far as new ideas go – you cannot simply throw four lambs to the slaughter and not expect people to laboriously dissect your work so let’s get on with this mercy killing, shall we?

The film, directed by James Thomas, gives us the front-row treatment to a group of friends that are taking the typical horror movie road-trip, when one decides it would be a fantastic idea to leave the keys in the car while everyone gets out to see some roadside tourist eyesight. I’m sure you can color-by-numbers with the remainder of this one, but I’m honestly having too much fun with the buzzard-picking here so back at it…

The car gets stolen, the friends are stranded, and the usual blind stroll to the local lunatics’ compound is under way. What follows is a recipe for a meal that almost any horror movie fanatic has gorged him/herself on for way too long: nutcases who love to kill idiotic out-of-the-way travelers for no conceivable reason other than to satiate their sadistic tendencies. Now, I in no way have a problem with this formula (nor have I ever), but there do have to be some differing variables involved in order to keep the stank fresh, if you know what I’m saying. Perhaps a bunch of nuclear fallout victims… wait, been done. Okay, how about a group of mutated hillbillies? You’re kidding me, right? So what we’re catching here are ordinary morons being stalked and killed by somewhat ordinary morons? Pardon me while I rest my weary little skull (yawn).

One inexplicable character disappearance occurs during this slogging, 80-minute event; and frankly, you won’t care what happens to the remainder of the cast – perhaps they shambled off to find an acting class? The cue-cards apparently were very hard to read in the hot sun with all the squinting and stagnant dialogue being thrown around. I’m seriously jumping into the deep end to offer a bite of something positive with this derivative, exhausting bore of a photoplay. Thomas latches onto an idea that has been chewed up and spit all over the audiences for as far back as I can remember, and all he needed was a somewhat inspired twist on an old trick; however, the decision to follow the trail of breadcrumbs down the survivors’ horror film pathway must have seemed like a better idea. Sorry, but this one has “TURD” written all over it. Far be it from me to tell the masses what to subject their eyes to, but a quick walk past this movie simply won’t suffice here so my advice when approaching this film would be RUN LIKE HELL.

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Matt Boiselle

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