Cradle, The (DVD)

The Cradle DVD (click for larger image)Starring Lukas Haas, Emily Hampshire, Amanda Smith

Directed by Tim J. Brown

Distributed by Genius Products

Rock-a-bye, Creepy / In the treetop / Man, this film blows / The Cradle does suck.

Sorry? Oh, you caught me singing when I should have been writing a review. Doesn’t matter though. You can take my ad-libbed lyrics and apply them right here.

I love ghost stories. Especially ghost stories about vengeful spirits. Next to zombie flicks, spirits that go bump in the night no doubt make for some of my favorite types of horror fodder. Except when the folks behind said film set out to make something good that turns into a plodding mess.

Meet Frank (Haas), his crazy-ass wife Julie, and their baby. The family has just moved into a new home but come to find they’re not alone. They share the house with what they think is the spirit of a child who was buried alive. At least that’s what the local crazy lady tells Frank. It’s not long before all manner of cliche hijinx are thrown at you, and in the end of course we have a twist. YAY.

The Cradle DVD (click for larger image)There are some scenes in The Cradle that are nothing short of jarring and, dare I say it, ballsy. The problem is we have to suffer through a seemingly endless amount of dull exposition to get to the good stuff. There were many times I spied the old fast-forward button to help get through the impossibly long hour and forty-seven-minute run time. But every now and again something would happen to spark at least some interest, and I’d end up watching, thereby ignoring my better judgment. I am a glutton for punishment I tell ya!

Another annoyance about this flick lies in the fact that the idea behind the film is genuinely creepy. In the hands of a more experienced writer and director, the subject matter could have been handled deftly. Paul Nelson and Tim J. Brown don’t have the chops just yet to deliver effectively. They do show promise though.

Thankfully there’s not much to be found in terms of supplemental material except for a by-the-numbers behind-the-scenes segment, but honestly I cannot imagine anyone even taking the time or interest to want to sit through another second of this abysmal little tale.

If you’re looking for a good flick about a spooky ghost kid, do yourself a favor: Pass on this title and seek out The Changeling (order here). I can guarantee you that film will provide the chills that The Cradle only hinted at.

Special Features

  • Behind-the-scenes of The Cradle featurette
  • Film:

    1 1/2 out of 5

    Special Features:

    1 out of 5

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    Steve Barton

    You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.

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