Netherbeast Incorporated (2007)

Netherbeast Incorporated reviewStarring Darrel Hammond, Steve Burns, Dave Foley, Amy Davidson, Jason Mewes, Robert Wagner, Judd Nelson

Directed by Dean Ronalds

We’ve all had “one of those days”. You know the ones I mean. You wake up late, no clean socks, you lose your keys, your car won’t start, you get to work late, the boss calls you into his office, you sit down next to a co-worker who just happens to be soaked in his own blood with a stake through his chest. I know I have! Well, maybe not exactly like that … I usually have clean socks.

What would you do if your boss told you that he had to kill a fellow employee because he was a vampire?!

What would you do if you already knew he was a vampire?

Or that you yourself were a vampire?

Well, when you work for a company called Berm-Tech Industries and your vampire boss starts to go senile, pretty much anything can and will happen. Otto Granberry can certainly relate and will tell you all about it in Netherbeast Incorporated. Born from a short film that won great popularity during its rounds through the film festival circuit last year, Netherbeast Incorporated is a feature length comedy about corporate vampires of the literal bloodthirsty variety.

Being lucky enough to catch Netherbeast‘s short debut run, I was thrilled to hear about the full length film that was being made. But what really blew me away was the cast! Darrel Hammond, Judd Nelson, and Robert Wagner had me floored, but when you throw in Dave Foley (my worship of him goes back to “Kids in the Hall”!), Jason Mewes (Snoogins!), and Steve Burns from “Blue’s Clues” … I didn’t need my “Thinking Chair” to figure out that I had to see it for myself!

And let me tell you … I wasn’t disappointed!

Netherbeast Incorporated review“You wouldn’t eat spaghetti with a skateboard,” right?

Well, you couldn’t make a film like this into a triumph without a cast like they had!

After watching Steve Burns for years while he and his animated blue puppy played with my children, it was almost surreal to see him on screen in my favorite genre. Burns may not be a huge fan of horror himself, but with the comedic elements of Netherbeast Incorporated apparent in every scene, he seemed right at home in the role of Otto. Plus, as a fan of his Nickelodeon character myself, it was nice to see him again.

To the outside world Berm-Tech Industries looks just like any other large corporation, but looks can be deceiving. Berm-Tech employees are a close knit family of sorts. They work together, eat together, and even live together in the building. Otto Granberry (Burns) narrates throughout most of the movie as he informs the audience of what it’s like to work at the curious company and more importantly why the company is so unusual in the first place.

You see, Berm-Tech Industries has been run entirely by vampires (or Netherfolk as they prefer to be called) since its infancy.

As you can probably imagine, there is a very strict hiring policy; but honestly, when the staff consists of immortals, there is no real need for it anyway … Talk about job security! So of course things get very awkward at Berm-Tech when the boss starts to hire “First Lifers” from the outside world. The employee’s lives get turned topsy-turvy from the moment the new blood walks through the rarely used front door.

The end result is a quirky, fun, and thoroughly entertaining cinematic joy that is sure to delight both genre and non-genre fans alike. This is one of those rare films that you can play, and pretty much everyone in the crowd should have a great time with it. There are a few non-politically correct moments that could possibly offend those individuals who are completely humor handicapped, but for the most part Netherbeast Incorporated is a brilliantly bloody success!

I can’t rave enough about a film that colors outside of the Hollywood lines with a vividly new array of hues. Netherbeast creates a whole new way to look at the legend of vampire. Put into the perspective of this film, I wouldn’t at all be surprised to stumble upon an office building full of flesh hungry folks just trying to earn a living … Unless you count debt collectors; I’m pretty sure we already know they’re out there!

4 out of 5

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Jon Condit