Pinup Dolls on Ice (2013)

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Cottage Country (2013)Starring Karine Kerr, Suzi Lorraine, William Jarand

Directed by Geoff Klein & Melissa Mera

In 2009, director Geoff Klein barely made a whimper in the horror world with his very low-budget slasher flick, Bikini Girls on Ice. The film introduced us to a psychotic mechanic simply named Moe (Jarand) who took much joy in mutilating one-note bikini-clad girls and literally putting them on ice. It was a perfect premise for a slasher however; it lacked the onscreen kills and gratuitous nudity that the catchy title had alluded to. Four years later, Klein has come back with a vengeance with his follow up, Pinup Dolls on Ice and makes up for the lacklustre Bikini Girls On Ice by giving slasher aficionados what they want—boobs, blood and a big bad villain that likes his meat literally blue rare!

Taking the “American Horror Story” route, Suzi Lorraine returns in the sequel this time as a new character named Joy, a bartender who gets a group of doomed pinup dolls a sexy gig at the seedy bar she runs. Unfortunately, the girls weren`t prepared for Moe`s return and he wastes zero time in hacking the dispensable group of beauties one by one in horrifically repulsive ways.

The very few viewers that have seen Bikini Girls on Ice may initially have reservations about giving the sequel (that also works as a stand-alone slasher) a chance, yet after watching the obligatory gory prologue where an ill-fated naked woman (Almon) meets her untimely demise after a tense stalk and chase sequence, the skeptics will be immediately won over since Pinup Dolls on Ice never lets the audience breathe in between laughs and boo scares as the film moves at a rapidly fast and vicious pace.

Fantasia 2013It should be noted that although the film is full of malevolent death scenes, it is riddled with ridiculously atrocious dialogue; however a horror movie of this calibre should never be judged on these aspects as it is able to deliver on all the slasher goodness that overly nostalgic fans of the genre have been craving for.

Conversely, the overly misogynistic tone and unapologetic sexism shown onscreen may be unsettling and infuriating to some. Scenes involving women getting brutalized for far too long (even for slasher standards) and an explicit scene involving an act of necrophilia will definitely turn stomachs and is guaranteed for walkouts in future screenings. Feminists beware– Pinup Dolls on Ice is definitely not a film made for those who support the “Women in Horror” movement, yet considering the title, it will likely deter those who would be offended by the ruthlessness from seeing the slasher in the first place.

The film`s biggest strength is obviously the special effects and make-up artist Melissa Mira (who also co-stars as one of the unlucky pinup dolls) definitely makes up for the first film’s follies by providing enough plasma-covered kills onscreen that at least made the Fantasia Film Festival crowd gasp and groan in morbid delight.

Don`t let the cheesy, straight to DVD title fool you, Pinup Dolls on Ice is a surprise slasher that hits all the right bloody notes and will make hardcore gorehounds excited for Moe’s next appearance in the bound to happen sequel.

3 1/2 out of 5

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Serena Whitney