Eat Your Heart Out (2006)

Eat Your Heart Out (click for larger image)Starring Melissa Bacelar, Jack Dillon, Joshua Nelson and Alan Rowe Kelly

Directed by James Tucker

Ever been stuck in a romantic rut? You know, when it seems no woman or man takes an interest in you and call girls are the only way to go? This reviewer wouldn’t know anything about that, but the star of Eat Your Heart Out does.

Jeff is down and out. His beloved mother has passed on, he lives alone in a luxurious empty mansion and he just can’t score any love … without paying for it. All he wants is a reason to wake up in the morning. Even the women he pays to spend time with seem almost repulsed by his kindness and open attitude. Jeffery just can’t get things to go his way. Suicide isn’t the answer simply because no one would notice he was gone.

Eat Your Heart Out (click for larger image)Then some sun starts to shine in on his life after a particular call girl, Pandora, falls in love with him. The flowers are in bloom, the bunnies are dancing and she even resigns from being a whore. It is just too bad that her hooking kept her fed, literally. Sweet silicon titties! Pandora is a ghoul!!! Nearly every John she gets picked up by is torn open and eaten alive. Love can conquer all right? Right?!?!

Director James Tucker nearly nailed this film down … nearly. The character of Jeff (Dillon) can be sympathized with easily, and his whole experience with Pandora can be taken as a fall into madness due to solitude and failure. Eat Your Heart Out may not mean to be deep, but it conjures up a small spark. Jeff is so desperate for love that he will even watch his lover eat another hooker right in front of him. Does he throw up? No. Does he try to stop it? Well, it is kinda sexy, but a stronger reaction would be expected from someone with all his marbles. Perhaps Jeff is missing a few?

Eat Your Heart Out (click for larger image)Pandora on the other hand is a bit of a let down. Melissa Bacelar is beautiful and her performance is better than average, but there’s just not enough meat there to flesh out her character. By the end of the picture she’s still a mystery but one some people may not care about. Maybe that is why she is called Pandora.

Another issue with Pandora is about her category in the horror genre. The beautiful vixen eats flesh, convulses in pain when deprived of it and gets right back up after taking a bullet to the head. Is she a zombie? Well, if her wound didn’t appear to be healing by the film’s end, this reviewer would say “yes.” Though this may be a minor annoyance, something just doesn’t make sense about her. But boy, does that undead body look good!

There is a really good film in Eat Your Heart Out and it isn’t hiding. The cast and crew all have talent, but there’s a pothole or two that need to be taken care of.

3 out of 5

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Mike Phalin

Mike Phalin is a contributing writer, reality television star and engineer.

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