Directed by Don Jones
Distributed by Media Blasters
So many dangerous things wait for the unsuspecting whom venture into unwatched wooded areas. One could be raped by bears, clowns or Uwe Boll. Undead Native Americans could rise from the grave to gamble with the money of the living. Or madmen cannibals lurking in the forest could haunted by the ghosts of his children and wife. Well, it wasn’t exactly as colorful a plot as the others, but could The Forest a hybrid gem that got lost sometime after the 1980s?
The Forest starts things off quick with two bloody murders by a vary brazen looney. Maybe the killer is new to this lifestyle but it is usually best if you don’t run around right behind your target or wearing a bright red hat in plain sight. Also give your victim plenty of time to admire your shiny knife before plunging it into his/her gut. There’s no point in killing unless you know your work is being admired by your customers.
As mentioned before there is a ghost story tied to all killing. In a nut shell John (Gary Kent) killed his wife because her vagina was an all night parking garage then ran off to the woods with his two young children. These kids eventually become sick and kill themselves … yup, they do themselves in because they got a cold. After this brilliant move these tykes become ghosts who more or less annoy their father by tipping off his potential meals to his presents.
There are more characters involved but by the time the film wraps up you won’t know them by their names but by their hairstyles and inability to deliver lines of dialog with more emotion than a couple planks of wood. Honestly it is pretty difficult to figure out why this movie is even spending time in the DVD player. There is never a sense of fear, isolation or even sorrow for the pathetic characters even when they are unknowningly eating a loved one. The Forest is the perfect example of how not to act while seeing ghosts, being chased by a killer or breaking your leg.
For every mark The Forest misses as far as being a movie the DVD almost makes up for with special features. The two commentary tracks were a surprise. When it comes to films that haven’t seen the light of day in years it’s astounding if they even get one special feature, let alone two commentaries, a trailer, photo gallery and interviews. That’s a lot of hootch but not everything packs the kind of quality one would expect. The cast and crew interviews are shot with what looks like a camcorder and sports the same quality sound: shitty. The trailer and photo gallery are decent for what they are but nothing can touch two separate audio tracks. These technically could have been combined since major silent gaps are present during the feature. Both feature the film’s director Don Jones but his guests are different for each. Problems present themselves off and on as the commentators just stop talking or rarely have anything of benefit to contribute. What the audience can hear a lot of is how much of the cast haven’t done anything since the film. Hmmmm, why could that be?
The Forest has been called a few things from slasher to psychological horror. Don’t be fooled, though. This direct-to-VHS turned silver screen gracer is too light on the body count to be a real slasher and far too dumb to stimulate any sort of mental terror.
Commentary with director Don Jones and DP Stuart Asbjornsen
Commentary with director Don Jones and actor Gary Kent
Cast & Crew Interviews
1 1/2 out of 5
3 1/2 out of 5
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