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Are You Scared? (DVD)



Are You Scared reviewReviewed by The Foywonder

Starring Alethea Kutscher, Erin Consalvi, Carlee Avers, Kariem Marbury, Soren Bowie

Directed by Andy Hurst

Distributed by Lionsgate


That’s what the title of this film should have been. And the tagline:

“Oh yes, there will be rip-offs.”

Are You Scared? opens in a grungy-looking interior with a young woman whose hands are chained behind her back and has an electrified shock collar around her neck. An ominous voice tells her that she has to push two buttons within sixty seconds or suffer dire consequences. To push the first button she has to walk barefoot over broken glass and push it with her chin. The second button is at the bottom of a fish tank, requiring her to dunk her head in the water to push the button, again with her chin. Of course, there’s quite an unpleasant catch – that’s not water. The whole time the ominous voice is egging her on and giving her a second-by-second countdown. Does any of this sound familiar?

We then meet a police detective that’s been in pursuit of this killer for two years. He’s joined by a female FBI profiler who will go on to tell him about how the killer is methodical in his planning, ruthless in his execution, and repeatedly uses the line, “The game’s started again.” She also goes on about how this methodical madman is actually trying to teach his victims a lesson about how “a merciful death is better than a life of pain,” a line that will be repeated numerous times throughout the film, even by the killer himself.

I mean wow, just wow. This is such a shameless knock-off of Saw I’m literally shocked to know that it wasn’t produced by The Asylum. Nope. Are You Scared? is being released through Lionsgate. You have to admire a company willing to cash in on one of its most financially successful big screen horror franchises by putting out a DVD movie that is essentially a poor man’s wannabe version of that very franchise.

In Saw the killer was known as Jigsaw. I honestly do not recall what, if anything, the killer in Are You Scared? was known as so I’m just going to refer to the character for the remainder of this review as Word Jumble because his words were meaningless and his motivations quite jumbled.

Six teenagers now awaken in an abandoned, dilapidated factory with no memory as to how they got there. The shameless copycatting just doesn’t let up. Within 10 minutes it has gone from shamelessly ripping off Saw to ripping off Saw 2.

There is a bit of a deviation from the ripping off of the Saw formula. Word Jumble uses the ruse of a fake reality game show called “Are You Scared?”–hence, the film’s title. All of the potential victims had applied to appear on this phony reality show and upon waking up in some rundown hellhole are led to believe they’re competing at that very moment on live television for cash and prizes by facing their worst fears. For example, the girl in the opening sequence was led to believe she’d win a modeling contract if she were to complete the task. Of course, there was no possible way of getting out of the trap alive so there’s another deviation from the Saw formula.

There’s another serious deviation from the Saw formula. Unlike Saw, the potential victims in Are You Scared? are so far beyond the realm of stupid they border on mental retardation. The Saw victims weren’t too bright but still weren’t as far gone as these dolts. They pretty much lap up the line from the scary voice guy (whose scary disguised voice sounds almost exactly like Jigsaw’s) telling them they’ve been selected to compete on this live reality show. Despite claims that they never heard back after applying, never actually signed any sort of consent forms, and then there’s that little matter of being drugged and kidnapped, their skepticism is mostly muted. But then why should the characters be allowed to be smarter than the movie itself?

Case in point: Jason, the token Black guy who wastes little time buying into the premise and trash talking about how he’s going to win even though he woke up with no idea how he go there and with a bloody bandage under his shirt from where he’d been cut. Jason is coerced into a then sealed room where he’s told he has to defuse a bomb in x amount of time or go boom. This concept is the first thing to alert him that all in not right with this reality show. Unable to find the bomb, he begins panicking. Then he sees an x-ray on the wall and realizes it’s of him. He lifts up his shirt and reveals a big bloody bandage barely covering a large, very nasty looking and very fresh surgical scar where the explosive device has been inserted into his body cavity. This is what he described as “being cut”? This guy has been bouncing off the wall with excitement over how he’s on TV, bragging about how he’s going to win, and moving around with no visible discomfort from having a fresh foot-long incision in his abdomen or from walking around with a hockey puck-sized explosive in his body cavity. Word Jumble offers him the use of nitrous oxide to ease the pain before cutting himself open to remove the bomb, but why would he need it if he wasn’t feeling any before?

Look, suspension of disbelief is a two-way street. For crying out loud, Word Jumble didn’t put a “Kick Me” sign on the guy’s back. He sliced the guy’s abdomen open and surgically inserted a good-sized explosive device. A movie has got to play by some rules. Are You Scared? cheats every chance it gets.

The film keeps cutting back to the police detective and FBI profiler on Word Jumble’s trail. Both are utterly worthless characters. The highlight of their investigation is when they trace a piece of equipment used in one of the traps to a shop whose clerk cannot think of anything particularly out of the ordinary about the person that came in to purchase power drills mounted sideways on a track system. This clerk didn’t find anything especially out of the ordinary about his request and, it seems, didn’t even notice that half the guy’s face was melted off either.

Whatever one may think of the Saw films, Tobin Bell’s Jigsaw was at least an interesting character with intriguing motivations for why he did what he did. Word Jumble is a boring Jigsaw wannabe with a burnt face and poorly thought out motivations. Those motivations do become clearer with a revelation towards the end, but that revelation really only added to my annoyance with the gibberish nature of the script.

One of the big complaints about the Saw films was over how was Jigsaw able to put together and pull off such ridiculously complex Rube Goldberg deathtraps. The complaint registers doubly so here. Word Jumble’s traps are even cheaper and hokier than Jigsaw’s. One involves a character with their own intestines hanging out of their body having to complete a task before they bleed to death. I never really understood what the point of this task was. Then again, they were no-win situations so it didn’t really matter. Heck, Word Jumble even leaves his perch to kill a character or two manually.

Once the characters figure out what’s really going on after witnessing the fate of the game’s second victim, the whole reality show angle is totally scuttled, the movie completely falls apart, and the film goes from being a perfectly watchable, albeit positively moronic Saw rip-off to a drabber, run-of-the-mill, moronic horror flick. While gorehounds might be satisfied with the carnage on display, Are You Scared? never succeeds at generating any of the suspense or repulsion that the Saw films strived for. It’s impossible to watch this movie without the constant feeling that you’re watched what I described at the beginning as “Saw for Dummies”, a rip-off with logic gaps that often display sheer contempt for the audience.

Look no further than the big twist ending (which all films like this are required to have whether they need one or not). It’s positively insulting in its contempt for the audience’s intelligence. I’m talking insulting on the level of the end of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer‘s climax. Yeah, it’s that insulting.

And to answer the film’s title question; no, I was not scared.

Special Features
Trailer gallery


2 out of 5

Special Features

1/2 out of 5

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Suspiria U.K. Blu-ray Review – Argento’s Masterpiece In Stunning 4K Clarity



Starring Jessica Harper, Stefania Casini, Flavio Bucci, Udo Kier

Directed by Dario Argento

Distributed by CultFilms

Although the 40th anniversary of Dario Argento’s seminal giallo masterpiece Suspiria passed only last year, plans for that milestone had been underway for years. Unbeknownst to all but the most diehard fans, restorative work was ongoing for a long while, most notably under the masterful eye of Synapse’s Don May, Jr., leading up to a grand unveiling of the all-new 4K picture that had been perfected and tweaked endlessly. That version of the film toured across the country at select events, giving fans an opportunity to watch Argento’s colorful classic with a picture more vibrant and full of pop than ever before. Even the original English 4.0 audio track from 1977 was restored to its former glory. Between all of the loving care Suspiria received, as well as the wealth of Argento reissues on Blu-ray, this is a good time to be a fan of his early works.

There are, however, actually two 4K restorations that were done for Suspiria; one, by Don May Jr., while the other was performed by TLEFilms FRPS in Germany. This is the same master used for home video release in Europe and Australia. Fans have viewed and picked apart both transfers, though you would have to be one of the ultra-purists to enter that debate and engage anyone willing to discredit either image. The job done by Synapse is extraordinary and the same can also be said for the work done by TLEFilms. This release by CultFilms features the TLEFilms restoration, making it either an attractive alternative to Synapse’s (currently OOP) steelbook release or a nice supplement for fans who wish to own both 4K versions.

Suspiria has been viewed and reviewed and discussed an endless amount of times and there are no undiscussed criticisms or introspective viewpoints I am likely to offer that haven’t been made before. Argento has long been an example of style over substance and Suspiria is his most emblematic work in that regard. American Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) arrives in Germany at a prestigious all-girls dance academy late one rainy night. Girls have mysteriously vanished from the compound in recent days, with more to follow. Suzy is coldly greeted and frequently uncomfortable during her stay. Eventually she uncovers a plot involving witchcraft and murder. The story is less thrilling than the ride, which is a kaleidoscope of horror. Argento uses every trick in his bag, from inventive camera movement to ingenious framing, and the use of colored filters to evoke a mood so many have attempted to replicate.

The real interest many will have with this review is in regard to the picture quality. As I said before, the 2.35:1 1080p image provided by TFEFilms’ exhaustive restoration work is nothing short of astounding. This looks like a film that might have been made last year, never mind over four decades ago. The image is razor sharp, exceedingly clear and completely free of blemishes, dirt, debris, scratches, fluctuations, and jitter. The picture could not appear more stable, with the contrast rock solid and coloration a thing of beauty. Primaries leap off the screen with vibrancy even longtime fans will admit is a shocking surprise. Watching this picture in action is a true treat. Detailing is exquisite, revealing every little nuance in Argento’s framing. Simply put, this is a flawless image that ranks among the upper echelon of reference-quality Blu-ray transfers.

Similarly, the audio is no slouch with options available in both English and Italian, each receiving both a DTS-HD MA 5.1 surround sound track and an LPCM 2.0 option. The multi-channel track is the clear winner here, proving a deep, immersive audible experience that completely envelops the viewer in both Argento’s world and Goblin’s phenomenal score. Seriously, the soundtrack for Suspiria has never been as unsettling and overpowering as it is here, filling every corner of your home theater room with a palpable sense of dread. Subtitles are, of course, available in English.

Please note: this release is locked to Region B, meaning you must have a compatible player to watch the disc.

This release also features different bonus material from the Synapse release, with an emphasis here placed on the restoration process. Completists may want to add this disc to their collection because it not only offers up a different-but-equal a/v presentation but also a new collection of bonus features.

An audio commentary is included, provided by film critics/authors Alan Jones and Kim Newman.

“The Restoration Process” is a nearly one-hour piece that examines every step along the way in bringing Suspiria back to such stunning life. Technical talk abounds here; definitely for fans who want a glimpse into the nerdier side of making movies look pretty again.

“Argento Presents His Suspiria” is a new interview with the director, who surprisingly doesn’t seem sick to death of talking about this film yet.

“Fear at 400 Degrees: The Cine-Excess of Suspiria” offers up critical appraisal of the film’s visual style, featuring interviews with critics, theorists, and others involved in making the film.

“Suspiria Perspectives” offers up more in-depth discussion of the film, covering both this feature and similar Italian pictures made during that era.

A DVD copy of the feature is also included. The two-disc set sits within a slick, shiny embossed slipcover with the film’s logo in metallic silver. It’s kinda sexy.

Special Features:

  • The Restoration Process
  • Argento Presents His Suspiria
  • Fear at 400 Degrees: The Cine-Excess of Suspiria
  • Suspiria Perspectives
  • Audio Commentary
  • Suspiria
  • Special Features


Looking better than ever before, Cult Films’ release of this giallo classic is welcomed as both a more affordable (current) alternative to the U.S. release and as a complement to it, since this edition has a slight variation in picture quality and a selection of different and insightful bonus features.

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Victor Crowley Blu-ray Review – Killer Special Features Make This a Must-Own



Starring Parry Shen, Kane Hodder, Laura Ortiz, Dave Sheridan, Felissa Rose, and Tiffany Shepis

Directed by Adam Green

Distributed by Dark Sky Films

Like many of you horror fans out there, I was surprised as hell when Adam Green announced that there was not only going to be the fourth entry in his famed Hatchet series but that the movie had already been filmed and was going to be screening across the country.

Of course, I wanted to get to one of those screenings as soon as possible, but unfortunately, there were no events in my neck of the woods here in Gainesville, Fl., and so I had to bide my time and await the Blu-ray.

Then a few days ago, the Blu-ray for Victor Crowley landed on my doorstep and I jumped right into watching the film. Short story, I loved it. But we’ll get into all of that more in-depth below. For now, let’s do a quick rundown on the film for those two or three horror fans out there who aren’t familiar with the film and its premise.

Victor Crowley is the fourth entry in the Hatchet series, a franchise that follows the tale of a deformed man that accidentally met the wrong end of his father’s hatchet long ago and now roams the Louisiana swamp each night as a “Repeater”, aka a ghost that doesn’t know it is dead and thus cannot be killed. Ever. Well, maybe not ever. After all, Victor was supposedly killed at the end of Hatchet III by a combination of Danielle Harris, his father’s ashes, and a grenade launcher. Dead to rights, right? Not so much.

In this fourth entry/reboot, a group of indie horror filmmakers, lead by the adorable Katie Booth, accidentally resurrect Crowley just as the original trilogy’s lone survivor (Parry Shen) is visiting the swamp one final time in the name of cold hard cash. Long story short, Shen’s plane crashes with his agent (Felissa Rose), his ex-wife (Krystal Joy Brown), and her film crew in tow. Some survive the initial crash, some don’t. As you can imagine, the lucky ones died first.

Victor Crowley is a true return to form for Adam Green, who sat out of the director’s chair on the third film. As always, Green doesn’t shy away from the over-the-top comedy and gore the franchise is well known for. The blood rages and the sight-gags hit fast and unexpectedly. And, speaking of the sight-gags, there’s evidently a shot in this Blu-ray version of the film that was cut from the “Unrated” version released on VOD. The shot is one I won’t spoil here, but for the sake of viewing Green’s initial vision alone, the Blu-ray for Victor Crowley is really the only way to own this film. Don’t get me wrong, there are (many) more reasons to shell out the cash for this Blu-ray, but I’ll get into those soon.

Back to the film itself, what makes this fourth entry in the series one of the very best Hatchet films (if not THE best) is Adam Green’s honesty. Not only does he conquer a few demons with the ex-wife subplot, but he gives us a truly tragic moment via Tiffany Shepis’ character that had me in stunned silence. Her death is not an easy kill to pull off in a notoriously over-the-top slasher series, but it earned mucho respect from this guy.

Basically, if you loved the original trilogy, you will love this one as well. If you mildly enjoyed the other films, this one will surely make you a fan. Slow clap, Adam Green.

Special Features:

Let it be known that I’m a massive fan of fly-on-the-wall filmmaking documentaries. Like many of you out there, I find film production to be utterly fascinating and thus have grown a little tired of the typical making-of featurettes we get on Blu-rays. You know the ones. The director talks about his vision for the film, the cast say how much fun they had on-set with the other actors and crew, and we get cutaways to people dancing and trying to kiss the behind-the-scenes camera – all usually set to upbeat music.

While I’ll take what I can get, these kinds of behind-the-scenes features have grown to be little more than tiresome and superficial. But no worries here my friends as Adam Green has pulled out all the BS and given us a full-length, 90-minute behind-the-scenes feature called “Fly on the Wall” that shows it how it really is on the set.

Highlights include new Hatchet D.P. Jan-Michael Losada, who took over for Will Barratt this time around, who is little less than a f*cking hilarious rockstar, a front row seat to the making of Felissa Rose’s death scene, a creepy-cool train ghost story prank by Green, a clever impromptu song via Krystal Joy Brown (Sabrina), and a fun bit towards the end where Green and the SFX crew create the “gore inserts” in (basically) the backyard after filming. Good times all around.

The documentary then ends with the Facebook Live video of Adam Green announcing Victor Crowley‘s surprise premiere at that Hatchet 10th Anniversary screening. A great way to end a killer making-of documentary making his disc a must-own for this special feature alone.

But wait, it gets better. On top of the film itself and the above-mentioned “Fly on the Wall” documentary, the disc features an extensive interview with Adam Green called “Raising the Dead… Again.” This interview is basically Green going over the same speech he gave to the crowd at the surprise unveiling shown at the end of the “Fly on the Wall” doc, but that said, it’s great to hear Green tells his inspiring story to us directly.

So while this feature treads water all of us have been through below (especially fans of Green’s podcast The Movie Crypt), Green is always so charming and brutally honest that we never get tired of him telling us the truth about the ins-and-outs of crafting horror films in this day and age. Again, good stuff.

Additionally, the disc also boasts two audio commentaries, one with Adam Green and actors Parry Shen, Laura Ortiz, and Dave Sheridan, and another “technical” commentary with Adam Green, cinematographer Jan-Michael Losada, editor Matt Latham, and make-up effects artist Robert Pendergraft.

Add in the film’s teaser and trailer, and Victor Crowley is a must-own on Blu-ray.


Special features:

  • Audio commentary with writer/director Adam Green and actors Parry Shen, Laura Ortiz, and Dave Sheridan
  • Audio commentary with writer/director Adam Green, cinematographer Jan-Michael Losada, editor Matt Latham, and make-up effects artist Robert Pendergraft
  • Raising the Dead… Again – Extensive interview with writer/director Adam Green
  • Behind the Scenes – Hour-long making-of featurette
  • Trailer
  • Victor Crowley
  • Special Features


One of the best, if not THE best, entries in the Hatchet series, with special features that are in-depth and a blast (and considering all other versions of the film have been castrated for content), this Blu-ray is really the only way to own Adam Green’s Victor Crowley.


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Who Goes There Podcast: Ep 152 – Cloverfield Paradox & The Ritual



Last week Netflix shocked the world by not only releasing a new trailer for Cloverfield Paradox during the Superbowl, but announcing the film would be available to stream right after the game. In a move no one saw coming, Netflix shook the film industry to it’s very core. A few days later, Netflix quietly released horror festival darling: The Ritual.

Hold on to your Higgs Boson, because this week we’ve got a double header for ya, and we’re not talking about that “world’s largest gummy worm” in your mom’s nightstand. Why was one film marketed during the biggest sporting event of the year, and why was one quietly snuck in like a pinky in your pooper? Tune in a find out!

Meet me at the waterfront after the social for the Who Goes There Podcast episode 152!

If you like what you hear, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. For less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, special giveaways, and you get to help us continue doing what we love.

The Who Goes There Podcast is available to subscribe to on iTunes right here. Not an iTunes user? You can listen on our Dread Central page. Can’t get enough? We also do that social media shit. You’ll find us on FacebookTwitterInstagramTwitch, and YouTube.


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