Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror (2006) - Dread Central
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Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2006)

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Hood of Horror reviewStarring Snoop Dogg, Ernie Hudson, Danny Trejo, Pooch Hall, Anson Mount, Daniella Alonso, Lin Shaye, Brande Roderick, Dallas Page, Jason Alexander, Billy Dee Williams

Directed by Stacy Title


Paraphrasing Snoop Dogg’s “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)”:

When I saw your movie last night Snoop-y

Before I saw this piece of crap

I had respect for ya Snoop Dogg

But now I take it all back

Cuz you showed me your bad movie

And it even licked big balls

Leave my admission price on the cabinet

Hood of Horror is no good at all

Hood of Horror review!Now, some might criticize me for not enjoying Hood of Horror in the spirit in which it was made, so let me fill you in on what I was expecting. I’m a huge fan of anthology horror films. Creepshow, Two Evil Eyes, Three Extremes, “Tales from the Crypt”, hell, I even dig the hell out of Creepshow 2. So when I heard that Snoop Dogg was going to be the Cribkeeper in a hip-hop horror anthology co-written by Tim Sullivan (whose 2001 Maniacs remake I enjoyed), I figured the film would push the boundaries of good taste and serve up hellacious amounts of nudity and gore. The sad truth is that the film isn’t all that gory, and while I think I may have glimpsed one nipple, I can’t be sure. Frankly, the film is inexcusably boring, which is about the last thing I was expecting.

HoH starts off promisingly enough with an anime style intro that depicts the genesis of the Cribkeeper (Snoop Dogg). The live action commences with Snoop introducing the first of the three tales about a young graffiti artist named Posie (Daniella Alonso) who wants revenge on the gangbangers that killed her Mom. A ghetto demon (Danny Trejo) grants Posie her wish by tattooing her tagging arm with demonic runes, giving her the ability to spraypaint her enemies out of existence. The one good gore scene of the entire movie occurs shortly thereafter when a gangbanger victim of Posie’s slips and falls on a forty of beer, impaling his face on the bottle.

Hood of Horror review!The second short of the anthology tells the story of a spoiled rich party-boy redneck named Tex (Anson Mount) and his bubble gum wife named Tiffany (Brande Roderick doing a pretty funny Paris Hilton impression, micro-dog and all). Tex can’t collect his inheritance unless he spends a year living with his dearly departed Dad’s old Vietnam platoon buddies. The aging platoon are living out their golden years together, supporting each other and avoiding the rest home. Suffice it to say that Tex and Tiffany mistreat the old vets and get their comeuppance by being force fed caviar (she’s a spoiled rich girl, get it?), and impaled on a set of bull horns (he’s a Cadillac driving redneck, get it?). About the only positive thing I can say about this episode was that Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters) has aged quite well. Like Dick Clark freeze-dried well. Spooky.

The final episode tells the story of Sod (Pooch Hall), an up-and-coming rapper who kills his partner because he wants to go solo. One night after a little too much Cristal, Sod is visited in his champagne-soaked purgatory by Clara (Lin Shaye), the Ghost of Hip-Hop Past. Clara forces Sod to revisit his sordid rise to superstardom and finally face his zombified ex-partner. Notable only for “Seinfeld”’s Jason Alexander doing his best “I’m a badass” impression in yet another futile attempt to break out of his George Costanza typecasting hell.

Is it just me, or are these plot synopses boring as hell? Death by spraypaint, a bunch of old guys with guns, and a zombie rapper back for revenge? Oh, did I mention that the movie ends with a rap video recap to pad the running time? If the thought of a hip-hop horror movie written by a bunch of white guys appeals to you or you just want to see Lando Calrissian on the big screen one more time, then you might find a thing or two to enjoy in Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror. Otherwise, steer clear. It’s like everyone involved with this movie threw their hands up in the air and waved ‘em around like they just didn’t care…

1 out of 5

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American Psycho Meets Creep – Strawberry Flavored Plastic Review

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Starring Aidan Bristow, Nicholas Urda, Andres Montejo

Directed by Colin Bemis


Recently I wrote up an article here on Dread Central which was basically an open letter to anyone who was listening called “I Miss Found Footage.” Well, it seems like someone WAS listening, as I was then sent the link to an all-new found footage film called Strawberry Flavored Plastic from first-time writer-director Colin Bemis.

The film follows the “still-at-large crimes of Noel, a repentant, classy and charming serial killer loose in the suburbs of New York.” Basically, you could think of the flick as American Psycho meets Mark Duplass and Partick Brice’s Creep. That, or you could think of it as “Man Bites Dog in color!” However you choose to label Colin Bemis’ psychological thriller, just make sure you check out the film once it hits in the future.

As I alluded to above, the film is basically a found footage version of American Psycho. But that said, the film sports a twist on the charming serial killer subgenre that I have yet to see play out in any of the above-mentioned classics. I’m not going to go into spoiler territory here, but I will say that the film introduces an element to the tale that spins it into much more of a character drama than a straight horror film. Not that there is anything wrong with that!

Truth be told, the film’s turn from serial killer flick into a layered character study might have been its kiss of death, but this slight genre switch is rendered a minor issue as the film’s central narcissistic antagonist is played by Aidan Bristow. Bristow is an actor you may not have heard of before this review, but you will hear his name more and more over the years to come, I promise. The guy gives (no pun intended) a killer performance as the film’s resident serial killer Noel Rose, and time after time surprised me with how chilling, charming, or downright vulnerable he chose to play any given scene.

Bristow’s performance is, in the end, the major element the film has going for it. But that said, as a fan of found footage, I was smiling ear to ear at first-time director Colin Bemis’ understanding of what makes a found footage suspense sequence work.

In Strawberry Flavored Plastic director Colin Bemis is confident and content to allow full emotional scenes to play out with the camera directed at nothing more than a character’s knees. Why is this so important? Because it keeps the reality of the film going. Too many found footage directors would focus on the actors’ faces during such emotional scenes – no matter how contrived the camera angle was. In this film, however, Bemis favors the reality that says, “If you were really in this emotional state and holding a camera, you would let it drop to your side.” I agree, and it is small touches like that which make the film feel authentic and thus – once the shite hits the fan – all the scarier.

On the dull side of the kitchen knife, the film does feel a bit long even given it’s short running time, and there doesn’t seem too much in the way of visceral horror to be found within. Again, graphic blood and gore aren’t a must in a fright flick, but a tad more of the old ultra-violence would have gone a long way in selling our main psychopath’s insanity and unpredictability. But all the same, the film does feature a rather shocking sequence where our main baddie performs a brutal home invasion/murder that puts this film firmly in the realm of horror. In fact, the particular POV home invasion scene I’m talking about holds about as much horror as you’ll ever wish to witness.

In the end, Colin Bemis’ Strawberry Flavored Plastic is a must-see for fans of found footage and serial killer studies such as American Pyscho, Creep, and Man Bites Dog. I recommend giving it a watch once it premieres. If only to be able to point to Aidan Bristow in the near future and tell all your friends that you watched (one of) his first movies.

Until then, check out the film’s trailer HERE, and follow the movie on Facebook.

  • Strawberry Flavored Plastic
3.5

Summary

Lead actor Aidan Bristow turns in a star-making performance in Colin Bemis’ Strawberry Flavored Plastic, a found footage film that plays out like Man Bites Dog in Color before introducing a new element to the charming-serial-killer subgenre and becoming more character study than a straight horror. Think American Psycho meets Creep.

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Who Goes There Podcast: Ep 148 – Inside (2017 Remake)

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We’ve all heard the old saying, “in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Well, I’m here to tell you that’s only partially true. It seems there is a third certainty that had been omitted from the original quote, “It is certain, if you enjoy a movie, at some point someone will remake that movie.” Now is the time when one of my favorite movies gets reimagined, “for an American audience”.

In the late 2000’s an explosion of “French extreme” horror films was released. Martyrs and or High Tension can often be found on any number of lists of the “most fucked up horror movies ever”. Unfortunately, the vastly superior Inside is often forgotten (as well as Frontier(s), but that’s a whole ‘nother rant). Now, ten years after it’s initial release, Inside has been Americanized. Don’t worry, we watched it so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Mommy says you’re not dead. Is that true? It’s the Who Goes There Podcast episode 148!

If you like what you hear, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. For less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, special giveaways, and you get to help us continue doing what we love.

The Who Goes There Podcast is available to subscribe to on iTunes right here. Not an iTunes user? You can listen on our Dread Central page. Can’t get enough? We also do that social media shit. You’ll find us on FacebookTwitterInstagramTwitch, and YouTube.

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Totem Review – It’s Not Always A Bad Thing To Look Up From The Bottom Level, If You Like That View

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Starring Kerris Dorsey, James Tupper, Ahna O’Reilly

Directed by Marcel Sarmiento


Following the untimely death of a family’s matriarchal figure, a young woman finds out that managing to hold all of the pieces in place becomes increasingly more difficult when otherworldly infiltrators make their presence felt. We’re going to have to work our way up this Totem, as

17 year old Kellie is the leading lady of the home following the passing of her mother Lexy, and with a needy father and tiny tot of a baby sister, she still keeps things in working order, regardless of the rather large hole that’s been left in the dynamic due to the death. Kellie’s dad after a while decides to ask his lady-friend to move in with the family, so that everyone can move onto a more peaceful existence…yeah, because those types of instances always seem to work seamlessly. As fate would have it, Kellie’s sense of pride is now taking a beating with the new woman in the mix, and her little sister’s new “visitor” is even more disturbed by this intruder – only question is, exactly who is this supernatural pal of sorts? Is it the spirit of their dead mother standing by to keep watch over the family, or is it something that’s found its way to this group, and has much more evil intentions at hand?

What works here is the context of something innately malicious that has found its way into the home – there are only a couple moments that come off as unsettling, but the notion of having to weave through more than half the film acting as a sullen-teen drama is rather painful. The presentation of the “broken family” is one that’s been done to death, and with better results overall, and that’s not to say that the movie is a complete loss, it just takes far too much weeding through at times stale performances and even more stagnant pacing to get to a moderately decent late-stage conclusion to the film. Under the direction of Marcel Sarmiento (Deadgirl), I’d truly hoped for something a bit more along the lines of a disturbing project such as that one, but the only thing disturbing was the time I’d invested in checking this one out. My best advice is to tune into the Lifetime channel if you want a sulky teen-melodrama with a tinge of horror, or you could simply jump into this one and work your way up…but it’s a LONG way to the top.

  • Film
2.0

Summary

Sulky, moody, and ridden with teen-angst buried in the middle of a supernatural mystery – SOUNDS like a decent premise, doesn’t it?

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