Starring Dagmar Lassander, Pier Paulo Capponi, Simon Andreu, Susan Scott
Directed by Luciano Ercoli
Distributed by Blue Underground
My second exposure to the giallo sub-genre was a bit more daunting with this flick, The Forbidden Photos of a Lady Above Suspicion. Apart from the terrible title, I went into this with a pretty open mind. I’d watched The Black Belly of the Tarantula and rather enjoyed it. But this one was something slightly different. Not being an expert in the genre, I don’t know which is a better example, but I hope it’s not this one.
Dagmar Lassander stars as Minou, the very sexy and devoted wife of Peter (Pier Paulo Capponi). As the film begins, Minou is in the bath and, in a very Bridgette Jones moment, swears off smoking and drinking and taking pills – and yet continues to do so for the remainder of the film. She then proceeds to ready herself for a night out while thinking of several ways to tease her husband by doing silly things like refusing to have sex with him and telling him she’s in love with another man and wants a divorce…presumably to drive him crazy with lust before she lets him have her. Next, as she strolls down the beach in her sexy little outfit (not looking at all like a housewife, despite her earlier musings to the contrary), she’s menaced by a man on a motorcycle, the rather unsettling looking Simon Andreu. He runs her to ground near the docks and tosses her down, using his handy blade-tipped walking stick to further intimidate her (which has to explain why she doesn‘t even attempt to get up and run away as he cuts open her bodice). First he tells her that he will not force her, but that he wants her to beg for his dubious attentions, then goes on to say her beloved Peter is a fraud and a murderer and that she’ll soon learn the truth, before abruptly leaving her alone.
Instead of calling the police – who according to Minou only make you fill out forms – she calls her husband from a local bar and has him come to her rescue at what is apparently a weekend home. She patiently waits for him of course – her nearly slavish obedience to the male gender further underlined as one of the two patrons of the bar, a complete stranger, tells her to sit down with him and his card-playing buddy…and she DOES! She tells Peter what happened, and naturally, being a loving and devoted husband, he tells her that the chap was most likely just playing around and makes jokes about her putting him out by being attacked. Don‘t miss the line she drops on him about knowing now (after her harrowing experience, one presumes) how much his love means to her, to which he responds in a rather flatly serious tone “Better late than never.” It kind of made me want to kick him in the shins. However, now that the dashing Peter is on the scene to take her home safely, Minou feels safe enough to go out to the local disco in an awful wig and enjoy herself.
While waiting for the erstwhile knight-in-tarnished armor at the aforementioned disco, she runs into her friend Dominique (Nieves Navarro aka Susan Scott from Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals, oozing all kinds of sultry sex kitten pheromones). During a game of some kind (who plays cards at a disco?!!?), Minou apparently loses…something. Dominique laughingly tells her not to do anything stupid “like Jean DuBois.” The news that Jean DuBois has committed suicide by drowning himself in the river is apparently significant to Minou, who immediately recalls the menacing man’s words about Peter being a murderer. However, she soon learns that DuBois (a financier) didn’t drown himself or fall in the river by accident either; he was indeed found in bed…dead of an embolism caused by “the bends,” which is how divers refer to the condition that occurs when someone submerged deeply underwater rises too quickly to the surface without decompressing. How the police are able to determine the embolism was caused specifically by that was a bit niggling, but that could just be me. The method of death seems to disturb Minou even more, though why is a mystery. Still, it becomes clear that she does have reason to wonder when Peter mentions that he owed the stiff a good deal of money before his untimely demise. She’s not worried enough to cease her whining about not being able to see him enough and teasing him about going to see Dominque, who is really the only really interesting character so far. She tells Minou to stop worrying about the attack – though she says she’d love being violated – and takes her back to her place to look at artistic but sexy nude photos of herself and pornographic photos from Copenhagen of other people, too. Apparently, this is completely normal – or she’s maybe hitting on Minou – or maybe she used to be Peter’s lover – it’s all pretty unclear.
Amidst the porno pics is one of Minou’s menacing man, which she takes with her (but doesn’t give to the police or anything sensible like that). Slowly – oh god, so slowly – we learn that Peter has something to do with designing some sort of skin-diving apparatus, which includes a decompression chamber at this place of business, used to simulate the effects of deep sea pressure on the suits. Dun-dun-dun! Despite her growing suspicions, Minou continues to beg Peter to confide in her and pours it on honey thick with her constant declarations of everlasting love, making it clear she doesn’t really care if he killed DuBois as long as he TELLS her he killed DuBois. Her menacing man finally pops up again, calling in the middle of the night to play her a recording of her husband and another man presumably having just killed DuBois and coming up with the idea to pass it off as a drowning suicide (by leaving him in his bed???). Minou is blackmailed into rendezvousing with her villain at his creepy apartment. She tries to pay him off, but he demands she sleep with him in return for the tape, which after a small bit of struggle and protests, she does. Of course, that’s not the end of it. Unfortunately. No, now he’s got pictures of her – Forbidden Photos of a Lady Above Suspicion…natch…wink-wink. He steps up the heat with his menacing as well, though the motive now doesn’t seem to be blackmail. This drives her into a downward spiral. Is Peter really a killer, or did the blackmailer make it all up? Is there something going on between Peter and Dominique? Or between Dominique and Minou? Or is Minou just going crazy? Maybe it’s all the drinking and drugs.
I wish to hell I had gone crazy or had some substance-induced fortitude. Something, anything to make this molasses in January, threadbare story move along more quickly. The only character I could stand at all was Dominique, and her role had woefully little screen time, comparatively. Minou’s simpering, whining, and crying made me wish an embolism on her. Peter is teeth-grittingly irritating. And the blackmailer is just kind of…flat. Or maybe they just come across that way in English since the movie is unfortunately dubbed with no option of listening to it in the original Italian with subtitles. And the dénouement? Don’t even get me started. The ending does, however, get a little more interesting if you watch the 9-minute interview with co-writer Ernesto Gastaldi (who apparently wrote the screenplays for a good number of giallos). He makes a few little comments that make the end of the movie very nearly the most interesting part of the flick, which isn’t hard considering the pap that precedes it. I almost wished I had watched the extras, of which there are two, the interview and a theatrical trailer, first. But be warned: The interview, brief as it is, contains spoilers for the flick.
As a fan of the warmth and often gorgeously artistic composition of Italian cinema, this movie was pleasing. But it’s excruciatingly slow. Though it only clocks in at 93 minutes, it feels twice that; and the lovely ladies, beautiful shots (Minou’s entrance into the blackmailer’s apartment, as she steps through the heavy velvet curtain, is delicious), and vibrant colors are not enough to bring this one up to a watchable level. I suspect this may be a movie only a dyed-in-the-wool fan of giallo would love. For the rest of you, if you want to watch it, my recommendation would be to do so with it muted, and make up your own storyline.
Forbidden Screenplays – Interview with co-writer Ernesto Gastaldi
Discuss The Forbidden Photos of a Lady Above Suspicion in our forums!
The Open House Review – Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here
Written by Matt Angel and Suzanne Coote
Directed by Matt Angel and Suzanne Coote
Mere weeks, even days, after effusively beating Netflix’s original horror content drum (The Babysitter, Before I Wake, Creep 2), I’m here to confirm that The Open House is emptier than an vacant bomb shelter. Cold, unappealing and thoughtlessly plotted to the point where “generic” would have been an improvement. From the moment we’re welcomed into Matt Angel and Suzanne Coote’s scripted imprisonment, it’s nothing but loose floorboards and busted plumbing. The home invasion genre has rarely been navigated with such little attention to detail, asking for our suspension of coherent storytelling early, often, and without earning the right to be deemed mindless genre fun. Not even Ty Pennington could save this extreme renovation disaster.
Dylan Minnette plays Logan Wallace, a track star and student who must find closure after watching his father fall victim to a fatal car accident. It is his mother Naomi’s (Piercey Dalton) idea to spend a little time away from their suburban home – escape those painful memories – so they retreat to her sister’s luxurious mountain getaway. The catch? It’s in the process of being sold and open houses are on the regular, so Naomi and Logan must vacate their temporary premises on certain days. It’s after one of these very showings that Logan begins to notice slight changes around the house, and he fears that an unwanted visitor may be in their midst. Guess what? He’s right.
To understand how little The Open House cares about conscious blueprinting, just read the poster’s tagline. “You can’t lock out what’s already inside” – right, but you could have prevented them from coming in, or checked the house to make sure they weren’t squatting, or explored numerous other possibilities to avoid this scenario. The mansion’s realtor allows prospective buyers to come and go but it’s not her job to make sure no one’s hiding in the basement? Naomi can’t even keep track of the *single* visitor she lets look around the house? It’s infuriating to see so many people neglect safety out of forced coincidence because the script couldn’t rationalize the killer’s entry any other way – a confounding strike one.
This is also a film that admits no reasoning for why its own murderer has targeted the Wallaces, or why he stokes a violent fetish when it comes to open houses. We never actually see his face, just his imposing handyman-looking attire, nor do we savor any kind of tangible backstory (his family died during their own open house and he suffered a psychotic breakdown – just give me *something*). His undefined form never demands curiosity like John Carpenter’s “The Shape” once did, because scripting is nothing more than bullet notes for basic horror movie necessities. Here he is, your bad guy – too bad he’s introduced without fear, handled without originality and unable to characterize beyond torturous kidnapper dotted lines. He’s just, you know, a guy who sneaks into open houses and kills – COMPLETE WITH A FINAL PAN-IN ON AN OPEN HOUSE SIGN WHEN HE MOVES TO HIS NEXT TARGET [eye roll into infinity].
Every scene in The Open House feels like an afterthought. “Ah, we need a way to build tension – how about a senile local woman who lives down the street and wanders aimlessly into frame?” Overplayed and in no way suitable to most her inclusions, but sure. “Oh, and we need inner conflict – what about if the breaker-iner steals Logan’s phone and frames him for later acts?” I mean, didn’t Logan canonically lose his phone even before Naomi’s mid-shower water heater issues – but sure, instant fake tension. “How are people going to believe the killer is always around and never blows his cover – think they’ll just buy it?” No, we don’t. Worse off, his cat-and-mouse game is dully repetitive until a finale that skyrockets intensity with jarring tonal imbalance. This closing, dreadful end without any sort of redemptive quality. More abusive than it is fulfilling.
If there’s anything positive worth conveying, it’s that Minnette does a fine job shuffling around as a character with severe sight impairment. The killer makes a point to remove his contacts as a final “FUCK YOU,” just to toy around a bit more, and Minnette frantically slips or stumbles with nothing more than foggy vision. Otherwise, dialogue finds itself ripped form a billion other straight-to-TV Logo dramas about broken families, no moment ever utilizing horror past a few shadowy forms standing in doorways after oblivious characters turn away. You can’t just take an overused subgenre and sleepwalk through homogenized beats…case and god-forsaken point.
Even as a streamable Netflix watch, The Open House is irredeemable beyond fault. The walls are caving in on this dilapidated excuse for home invasion horror, benefiting not from the star power of a temperamental Dylan Minnette. I have seen most involved players here in far better projects (Minnette’s stock has rightfully been skyrocketing, Matt Angel in The Funhouse Massacre, etc), but this is bargain bin theatrics without a fully formed idea. A nameless villain, doomed nice guy (Sharif Atkins), woefully unaware plot advancement – all the worst cliches found in one rage-quit worthy effort. Anyone who makes it through deserves an award…or a dunce cap.
Unless you’re irrationally afraid of cold showers, The Open House fails to deliver on a premise that can be summed up by no more than two lines of text.
Ruby Blu-ray Review – ’70s Drive-In Psychic Shocker From VCI
Starrign Piper Laurie, Janit Baldwin, Stuart Whitman, Roger Davis
Written by George Edwards and Barry Schneider
Directed by Curtis Harrington
Distributed by VCI Entertainment
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and director Curtis Harrington’s Ruby (1977) is paying it to a few of the ‘70s most notable horror films. Cribbing liberally from such better pictures as The Exorcist (1973) and Carrie (1976), this is a picture that could have worked well despite being a pastiche because it begins with a decent setup and the elements for something interesting are present. Unfortunately, nothing ever gels like it has to and Ruby loses focus early on, dashing from one death scene to the next and allowing for little salient connective tissue to tie it all together. The big mystery presented early on should be easy enough for horror fans to deduce, and the film never brings the scare factor. A few of the deaths are novel in their inventiveness, especially the use of the drive-in theater surroundings, but a couple kills do not a movie make and Ruby spends too much time middling and being weird to be of any note.
Florida, 1935. Low level mobster Nicky Rocco (Sal Vacchio) is gunned down by a lake as his pregnant girlfriend Ruby watches on in horror. Just before dying, Nicky swears vengeance on whoever did this to him. Cut to sixteen years later and Ruby (Piper Laurie) runs a drive-in movie theater and lives in a home nearby with her daughter, Leslie (Janit Baldwin). Ruby is a tough broad, quick-witted and foul-mouthed; able to hold her own with the guys. But those guys are beginning to vanish one by one as the bodies start piling up at the theater. Ruby suspects there’s something off with Leslie, so she brings in her own psychic doctor, Dr. Paul Keller (Roger Davis), to examine her daughter. Leslie, as it turns out, is acting as a conduit for the wayward soul of Nicky, who blames Ruby for his ultimate demise. Possessed and programmed for vengeance, Leslie and Ruby have an all-out battle in a search for the truth.
The second half of this film is where things go right off the rails, with scenes aping The Exorcist so much it feels like a knock-off. This isn’t always such a bad thing because knock-offs of better films can always turn out great (see: most of the post-Gremlins little creature features), but Ruby never makes a clear case for introducing these fantastical elements in the third act. This is a story that could have worked better by exercising restraint, playing closer to something like J.D.’s Revenge (1976), a similar gangster-soul-out-for-justice film, than a wild, possessed ride.
What does work, for me, are the drive-in theater setting (I’m a sucker for movies that also involve the craft of film in some way) and the kills, a few of which make great use of the theatrical setting to deliver fitting fatalities. One employee winds up stuffed into a soda machine, with his blood getting pumped into a dark, syrupy drink and served up to guests. Another meets his end on the screen, impaled by the pole on which car speakers are kept. Harrington does inject this picture with a strong sense of atmosphere, too. The locale is woodsy and feels remote; the countryside is dark and foggy, the perfect setting for something grim to occur. None of these elements are enough to fully save the feature, though they do bring enough production value to ease to burden of a poor script.
Personally, I’m a sucker for almost any horror from bygone eras – especially the ‘70s and ‘80s – so, deficiencies aside, Ruby is still worth a spin if you enjoy reveling in this particular era. This is far from an unheralded gem or little-seen treasure, but it does, at the least, rip-off good pictures in spectacularly bad fashion.
This is a rough film and every bit of work done for the 2K restoration still can’t do much to polish it up any better. First, a note: there is a video drop-out for approximately ten seconds around the 21-minute mark. VCI is offering replacement discs via their Facebook page, so check there for further details. Future copies will be corrected, and those should already be on “shelves” now, so consider this an FYI. The 1.85:1 1080p image is frequently soft and murky, darkly shot and poorly lit. Shadow detail is virtually non-existent. The color temperature looks a bit on the warm side. Film grain is noisy and occasionally problematic.
An English LPCM 2.0 track carries a clean & balanced audio experience. Voices sound a touch muffled at times, though nothing too severe. The murders scenes are accompanied by creepy ambient sounds, adding a slight chill. The film’s closing theme song is awesome cheese that must be heard. Subtitles are available in English SDH.
There are two audio commentary tracks; the first, with David Del Valle and Nathaniel Bell; the second, with Curtis Harrington and Piper Laurie.
The film’s original trailer is included in HD.
Also included are a few interviews with Harrington, conducted by David Del Valle, including “2001 David Del Valle Interview with Curtis Harrington”, and “Sinister Image Episode Vol. 1 & Vol. 2: David Del Valle Archival Interview with Curtis Harrington”.
- NEW 2K RESTORATION from the original camera negative
- Original theatrical trailer
- Audio Commentary with Director Curtis Harrington & Actress Piper Laurie
- New Audio Commentary with David Del Valle and Curtis Harrington historian Nate Bell
- Two Interviews with Curtis Harrington by Film Critic David Del Valle
- Photo Gallery
- Optional English SDH subtitles
A simple plot becomes wildly unfocused but Ruby does have intermittent camp value fans of ’70s horror cinema should dig. VCI’s Blu-ray is no beauty by any means, though it’s likely to be the best this poorly-shot feature will get.
The Midnight Man Review – Don’t Hate The Game, Hate The Players
Written by Travis Zariwny
Directed by Travis Zariwny
Travis Zariwny’s The Midnight Man is largely a robotic hide-and-seek slog, yet if dissected in butchered chunks, smaller bites range from delicious destruction to utterly incompetent character work. Judging by the bloodthirsty opening sequence alone, you’d think Zariwny is about to blow our morality-siding minds. A sad misconception, I’m afraid. After our hopes skyrocket, mechanical plot devices are pinned to a storyboard with the utmost lack of exploration. The Midnight Man’s game is afoot, but these players would barely compete against an opponent crafted from brick and mortar. Can someone calculate a handicap for them, please?
Gabrielle Haugh stars as Alex Luster, a caring granddaughter to Nana Anna (Lin Shaye). One night, upon the request of her not-always-there relative, Alex rummages through attic trunks for a silver-backed hand mirror. Instead she finds a nondescript wrapped box with what appears to be a game inside. Her crush Miles (Grayson Gabriel) has arrived by now, and after an incident where Anna requires medical attention from house-call doctor Harding (Robert Englund), the two friends begin playing whatever it was that caused Anna to screech in disapproval. You know, the only rational decision.
At the risk of sounding like a smug CinemaSins video, The Midnight Man would surely bomb any horror IQ test. Zariwny’s *first* piece of introduced information after discovering Midnight Man’s altar is quite simple – DANGER. DO NOT PLAY. IT JUST CAUSED A WOMAN TO FAINT. Nevertheless, our braindead sheeple follow careful rules to summon Mr. Midnight Man into their house – because, as horror movies have proven, tempting occult fates is buckets of fun! At least the characters don’t confess romantic feelings and makeout while another friend who joins the game late – “Creepy Pasta” obsessed Kelly (Emily Haine) – could already be in the Midnight Man’s clutches, that’d be – oh, right. That happens.
Senile Anna is another story altogether – Zariwny’s grey-haired red herring in the worst way. Lin Shaye injects so much destabilized madness into this energetic, midnight-perfect role, elevating herself into a stratosphere well above The Midnight Man itself. Whether she’s screaming about Alex’s disgusting blood, or ominously whispering dreadful remarks through a housewide intercom, or beating Robert Englund to a pulp with wide-eyed psychosis – well, if you’ve seen Dead End, you *know* the kind of batshitery Shaye is capable of. Her genre vet status on display like a damn clinic here.
Shaye – and even Englund – aside, scripting is too procedural to salvage any other performances. Kelly doesn’t even deserve mention given her “bring on death!” attitude and enthusiastic late entry INTO AN URBAN LEGEND’S DEATHTRAP – a poorly conceived “twist” with less structure. This leaves Grayson Gabriel and Haugh herself, two thinly-scripted cutouts who couldn’t find a more repetitive genre path to follow. There’s little mystery to the gonigs on, and neither actor manages to wrangle tension (even when staring our Midnight friend in the face…thing).
Scares are hard to come by because Zariwny opts for a more “charismatic” villain who talks like Scarecrow and appears as a dyed-black, cloaked Jack Skellington. He can form out of clouds and is a stickler for rules (candles lit at all times, 10 seconds to re-ignite, if you fail he exploits your deepest fear). Credit is noted given this villain’s backstory and strict instructions – which does make for a rather killer game of tag – but the need to converse and expose Midnight from shadows subtracts necessary mysticism. He’s a cocky demon with masks for each emotion (think woodland death imp emojis), but never the spine-tingling beast we find ourselves hiding from.
This is all a bummer because gore goes bonkers in the very first scene – with underage victims no less. One young player gets decapitated, another explodes into a red splattery mess (against fresh snowfall), but then a vacuous lull in process takes hold. It’s not until Alex’s fear of blood and Miles’ fear of pain that we get more eye-bulging squeamishness, then again when Kelly’s bunnyman appears. A no-bullshit, bunny-headed creature wearing a suit, which plays directly into Kelly’s deepest fear. When Zariwny gets sick and surreal, he scores – but it’s a disappointing “when.”
I take no pleasure in confirming that any small victory The Midnight Man claims is negated by kids who should’ve been offed for even thinking about a quick playthrough of Anna’s old-school entertainment. Invite him in, pour your salt circles and try to survive until 3:33AM – sounds easy, right? If the demon plays fair, you bet! But why would ANYONE trust a demon’s word? Makes sense given Alex and Miles’ ignorance of more red flags than a Minesweeper game, and a thrilling chase these bad decisions do not make.
The Midnight Man begins by striking a meteoric horror high, only to plummet back down towards repetitive genre bumbling once the game’s true – and less enticing – plot begins.
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