Crucible of Terror (DVD)
Steve Barton
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Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Mike Raven, James Bolam, Mary Maude, Ronald Lacey
Directed by Ted Hooker
Distributed by Severin Films
ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZ … huh? What!?! Oh yeah, sorry. I’m supposed to be writing a review for Crucible of Terror, the movie that made me feel as if I was battling a strong case of narcolepsy.
The story is one we’ve seen so many times before but now told in one of the single most tedious and flaccid ways imaginable. Victor Clare (Raven) is an artist who subscribes to the notion that in order for art to reach the next level and be truly stellar, there must be sacrifices even more extreme than when Vincent van Gogh cut off the lower part of his left earlobe involved. His medium of choice? Clare digs on nabbing young chicks, covering them in plaster, and then pouring molten bronze into the eye hole of the captive chicks’ plaster heads, thereby turning them into bronze statues.
Tedious, no? So tedious that despite his crazy fetish Clare decides to retire and just do some sketching. Unfortunately for him his son, Michael (Lacey), decides to borrow some of his father’s more … shall we say … interesting pieces and put them on display at the local art museum, where the response ends up being tremendous. Seeing what a success this show is, art dealer John (Bolam) suggests to Michael that his father should be convinced to part with and sell more of his amazing bronze statures. Together John and Michael gather up their wives and head out to pay a visit to Victor at his secluded home and workshop. Of course from there things go to hell in a handbasket for everyone involved.
Here’s the thing … while all that sounds as if it could be a very cool House of Wax-like round of murder and mayhem, everything in the movie just takes too long, and by the time it gets going, you’ll be too bored to even care. There are points at which it feels absolutely endless, and by the time the credits roll, if you make it that far, you’ll be left nearly nodding off and ready to call it a night. While not the worst thing you’ll ever see, Crucible of Terror is more of a cinematic sleeping aid than it is a horror flick. Somewhere in here there was a decent cult film waiting to be found, but the folks behind it just couldn’t pull it off.
On to the special features … ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. ZZZZzzzz….. huh? What?!? Oh, there aren’t any. Yep, it seems as if this flick even had the folks at Severin asleep at the DVD supplemental wheel.
There are so many movies like this that have been done so much better. If you have some morbid curiosity or are just a Seventies horror film completist, then by all means,check this out. Everyone else? Stay away. Stay far, far away.
Special Features:
1 1/2 out of 5
Special Features:
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0 out of 5
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