Sssssss (Blu-ray)
Anthony Arrigo
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Starring Strother Martin, Dirk Benedict, Heather Menzies, lots of snakes
Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski
Distributed by Scream Factory
Zanuck and Brown, who brought you JAWS, Now Present a Major Horror Film…
…that is nowhere near the level of that movie. I love a good old-school creature feature as much as one should, but unless a snake film features one big enough to swallow people whole chances are the only horror will come from watching scale-paid actors do their worst to get caught up and killed in the most contrived ways imaginable. And that is more or less the fate that befalls the few victims of Sssssss (1973) – “Don’t say it, hiss it”. There are effective ways to do snake pictures. Anaconda (1997) might be a terrible (and terribly entertaining) film, but one thing you believe is that snake could squeeze the life out of a man before swallowing his ass whole. Here, you have to stifle laughter as a tiny Black Mamba is dropped into a shower for the purpose of killing a guy; a guy who could just, you know, open the shower door and walk out. So, you ask, if we aren’t getting awesome killer snake action then what’s worth watching? The acting. By no means is this an Oscar caliber picture, but when a film affords you the opportunity to watch Strother Martin play a delusional scientist opposite Dirk Benedict of “The A-Team” (1983-1987) fame, well, it’s best to just sit back and enjoy the show.
Dr. Stoner (Strother Martin) is a leader in the field of herpetology, but his experiments require additional assistance. After the sudden disappearance of his previous protégé, Stoner heads to the local college and recruits David (Dirk Benedict) to be his right-hand man. David is a bit confused by what Stoner has in mind, but the prospect of also working alongside Stoner’s hot daughter, Kristina (Heather Menzies), shoves aside any lingering doubts. David’s first assignment comes in the form of shots, which Dr. Stoner says are part of the inoculation process for dealing with venomous snakes. The shots make David sick and weak… and they also make him trip balls. Hard.
The facility where Dr. Stoner conducts his research also doubles as a bit of a backwoods carnival sideshow, with the doctor giving live milking demonstrations to the local folk. He draws an impressive crowd. Later that night, David and Kristina hit up the real local carnival and run into Steve (Reb Brown). Steve is a walking brick shithouse, as dumb as he is inhumanly strong. And he’s got his eyes on Kristina. David interjects and gets on Steve’s bad side, leading to a brawl that gets broken up. But Steve, undeterred by no man, figures the best course of action is to invade the Stoner residence, sneaking up the side of the house and into Kristina’s room where he clearly intended to do all the rape he could. Thankfully, he does not succeed. Oh, you’re probably wondering where all of this is going? Dr. Stoner is planning to turn David into a snake; a king cobra, to be exact. Because… something about snakes being superior and some other nonsense. His reasoning isn’t exactly on point, but the man does have his science down cold.
Strother Martin makes this film. For me, that was all it took – seeing Martin doing his thing in a leading role, which he was not often granted. As a film, Sssssss is crazy ridiculous and awfully dull. The entire premise is to turn a man into a snake and, when all is said and done, we don’t even get a man-sized snake! Weak. But Martin is one of those uniquely gifted, quirky actors who are just a joy to watch. His weird mannerisms, the cadence of his Southern twang; he always manages to be both presentable and a total slouch in one go, hair greased back, suit too big and sweat stains wherever they can appear. He came from a stock of acting that just doesn’t exist these days. And so you enjoy performances from actors like him whenever possible.
Dirk Benedict holds court, too, just not quite like Martin could. It’s hard to watch Benedict do anything and not think of him as the scheming, suave tool that was Templeton “Face” Peck on “The A-Team”. He is a bit more naïve here; obviously, since he lets Stoner, a man he only just recently met, inject him with all sorts of unknown substances that give him the sweats and send him off on a psychedelic mental journey.
One minor shocker here: the ending is unexpectedly cruel.
The film does deserve credit for using real snakes in virtually every scene. Aside from a shot or two where Martin is directly handling the king cobra, every other take features the actors alongside actual deadly snakes. In fact, maybe the producers figured most of the terror would come from the audience seeing these very real snakes squirming around these very real actors because the movie certainly doesn’t go for scares any other way. Well, other than when viewers learn what happened to Tim, Dr. Stoner’s former assistant. But, come on, you’re a horror fan. You already know.
Scream Factory’s Blu-ray doesn’t boast of any restoration work having been done, nor does it really need to since most MGM catalog titles have been preserved in great shape. Sssssss sports a very clean 1.85:1 1080p picture. Film grain resolves organically, but it is slightly heavy at times. Definition is sharp, especially during daylight scenes where fine details and textures are really able to shine. The level of detail present on some of the snake close-ups is like watching Discovery. Colors have a bit of pop to them and look nicely saturated.
The English DTS-HD MA 2.0 stereo track is straightforward and no frills. Dialogue is balanced, levels sound good and there are no pops or hisses… except for the ones that should be there. Subtitles are included in English.
“My Reptile Past with Dirk Benedict” – Hair dyed dark and chomping on a cigar, Benedict is full of vigor as he recounts his work on this film and other stories from his production years. The guy is a riot.
“The Herpetologist’s Daughter with Heather Menzies-Urich” – The actress answers the standard roster of questions, almost all of which are related to this film.
A photo gallery, four radio spots, and a selection of theatrical trailers can also be found here.
Special Features:
- New My Reptilian Past – an interview with actor Dirk Benedict
- New The Herpetologist’s Daughter – an interview with Heather Menzies
- Photo Gallery
- Theatrical Trailers
- Radio Spots
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Sssssss
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Special Features
Categorized:Reviews
