Home (DVD)
Matt Boiselle
|
Starring Heather Langenkamp, Samantha Mumba, Kerry Knuppe
Directed by Frank Lin
Distributed by Inception Media Group
There are worse things in this world than sitting through a painfully slow film…but I really can’t think of anything off the top of my skull right now, so I’ll just go on the offensive here with director Frank Lin’s achingly lethargic thriller, Home – give me a 90 minute wait at the DMV any old day other than this turtle.
Heather Langenkamp and former pop-star Samantha Mumba play a married couple (ideally named Heather and Samantha), and with all the good vibes going around regarding these two, there is one soul who isn’t thrilled with their utopian union, and it’s Heather’s daughter Carrie (Knuppe). She’s a religious fundamentalist, and through a twist she’s forced to stay at the newly married couple’s home, complete with Samantha’s bratty little daughter, Tia (Alessandra Shelby Farmer). Tensions, as you would imagine run a WEE bit high, but it’s nothing our Jesus-lovin lassie can’t endure, however there’s something about that freakin kid that’s just not right. As the movie clambers along at a snail’s pace, the issue of the house being haunted arises, complete with some kind of clandestine ceremony between Carrie and her boyfriend in order to drive the evil spirits away, and an attempt to save her darling little sis in the process.
Now I’m all for a little “wear on the treads” when it comes to story progression, but this film never seems to get its tires out of 1st gear. The dialogue is painfully boring, none of the characters really seemed to find their footing, especially Lew Temple, who I usually love in whatever role he latches onto, yet his role of an art teacher/counselor at the local elementary school came off a little “pedophile-ish”…regardless of how innocent his character was meant to be. By the time things appear to be making a bit of sense, we’re tossed a curveball (a commendable one, actually), but by this time, I just felt like it came away far too late to make an impact on the movie itself. The frights are virtually non-existent as well, with only a couple of scattered scares within. All in all, everything unfortunately totaled up to a movie that never got out of the starting blocks correctly, and when it did, it couldn’t clear its first hurdle without falling down with a sickening thud. My advice? Leave the key under the mat, cause no one needs to enter this Home.
-
Film
Categorized:Reviews
