Freaks of Nature (Blu-ray / DVD)

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Freaks of NatureStarring Nicholas Braun, Mackenzie Davis, Josh Fadem, Denis Leary, Vanessa Hudgens, Bob Odenkirk, and Keegan-Michael Key

Directed by Robbie Pickering

Distributed by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment


I was a law student in a previous life, and something every prosecutor will tell you is that long deliberations are bad news. The longer you give people to mull over the details, the fuzzier the picture gets, and people start making their own narratives. Pursuing a fan theory forum or viewing a movie like Room 237, it becomes pretty clear that this holds true for film as well.

The more we think about the various nuances of a film, the more likely we are to inject our own meaning into a series of random images. Whats more, messages that are actually there either are overshadowed or accentuated beyond their place in the hierarchy of meanings. This is just a fancy way of saying that when we think too much about stuff, it’s usually bullshit.

Which is my dilemma, since Freaks of Nature is a film worth deliberating on. As a pitch, it sounds like something a twelve-year-old might come up with in a notebook titled “teh coolest mashups evar!!!!!!” Taking place in the town of Dillford, vampires, zombies, and humans are all getting along just fine. That is, until the aliens arrive to bring the apocalypse! Whoa, ho, slow down there! Throw in Amy Winehouse making out with Iron Man while Oprah eats doughnuts and farts, and you’ve got a Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer movie on your hands! Time to phone it in, cash it in, and put it in the bank!

On the other hand, this could be Peter Jackson level genius if done right. A self-aware, fun, fresh take might just offer up the right mix of satire and blood to push it over the considerable barrier the premise presents. Unfortunately, while it does get there at times, it’s inconsistent. The parts where the movie shines are glorious, and not just in an “I liked that joke more than the others” kind of way. Freaks of Nature is at times genuinely witty, insightful, and surprisingly new. When it’s not, it can be uncomfortably bad.

I attribute this mostly to the cast, whose comedic talent is inconsistent. Standout comedic performances by Keegan-Michael Key and Bob Odenkirk bring depth and variety to the already diverse cast. Patton Oswalt has a brief cameo, but no one plays a crazed nerd like Oswalt. Though I’ve long since soured to his abrasive style, Denis Leary sure does play a good asshole. Vanessa Hudgens does a great job as someone who’s way too high to care. When the supporting cast members are bringing their unique personalities to the screen, the movie is comic gold. The diversity of talent shines, and the interplay between the comedians is magic.

I didn’t feel the same personality from the main cast. Dag (Nicholas Braun) is an average high school kid, who just wants to bang his hot neighbor Lorelei (Hudgens). Petra (Mackenzie Davis) is an average girl, who can’t believe her luck when the hunkiest vampire in the school wants to take her to a vampire party. Ned (Josh Fadem) is a nerd whose jock father and brother just don’t get why he wants to be a scientist and figures that zombification will make all the pain go away. While none of the performances are bad, they don’t nearly match the supporting cast. I understand that the main characters have to be relatable and the side characters are caricatures, but I would have liked to see a little more personality in their performances.

What draws me into Freaks of Nature the most is that the monsters don’t just exist so that the film can have monsters. It’s a high school drama with monsters serving as a framework for their problems. Zombification is blatantly drugs, numbing all your pain and lowering your intelligence as long as you eat brains. Vampirism is analogous with your reputation, and once turned, you can’t live it down. Finally, being just a human is the struggle to find your own identity, unsure of where you fit in.

I didn’t really feel for Dag the same way I felt for Ned and Petra. As a survivor of high school, I just don’t really find the struggle to fit in that compelling. The motion picture classic image of jocks vs. nerds just isn’t really accurate in a post-Xbox world. Everyone is a little bit of everything nowadays, with only the extreme cases still persisting. However, even though I don’t really think nerds get tripped in cafeterias anymore, the lengths that Ned went to stop feeling pain is heartbreaking. I’ve known people who just check out and get high, so it hit me right in the feels.

Petra was the only character of the main cast I felt excelled at her role. As a young girl that just wants to fit in, she gives in to the dreamy vampire Milan (Ed Westwick) and allows him to drink her blood, thus turning her into a vampire. Milan then gets bored with her, leaving her alone with no one to support her during this change. Going to the store to buy blood, her neighbors are quick to judge and make assumptions. Doing the whole “vampire curse” thing is trite, since basically everyone would be willing to sleep during the day if it meant being hot and living forever. Making it an analogy for a bad reputation is brilliant, and Freaks of Nature sells this in several tiny ways. When Dag and Petra realize their love (of course they do) and make out, his inherent fear gets the better of him for a moment and he pulls away. It’s an incredibly realistic moment of doubt that perfectly reflects how reputation, deserved or otherwise, can change how even the people who care about you will treat you.

For a movie about a mashup of monsters duking it out, the world is surprisingly well realized. There’s an attention to continuity that I frankly was not expecting. There will be several times where you ask yourself, “Well… wait, how does that work?” expecting the plot to just glaze over it. And yet, almost every little detail is realized. Do vampires burn in the sun? Yes. How do they go outside? Sunscreen. Why is Ned smart one minute and dumb the next? Brains. Why is his name Dag? Because his parents are strange. Why do vampires explode when killed? All right, they don’t explain that one, but it is badass. This isn’t explained in a linear fashion, making letting go and just experiencing the ride more rewarding than picking at the details.

Freaks of Nature is a surprisingly fun and deep movie that is held back by some weak jokes and lame delivery. I’m sorry, but Chaz Sr. (Ian Roberts) was no Dead Alive Kung-Fu Priest. There will be parts that you don’t like, but the package as a whole is still very solid. For such a hokey premise, the amount of heart and charm they managed to inject is incredible. It’s pretty staggering that for a movie about vampires/zombies/humans/werewolves fighting aliens, it actually made me think and feel. With a main cast that could more expertly carry the script, this could have been a classic. As it stands, I doubt it’ll rise much above cult hit.

Not a lot to see here in terms of special features, unfortunately. Along with the obligatory gag reel and deleted scenes, there’s a pretty good alternate opening. This opening spells out a lot of the plot in storybook animation, starting the film directly with the opening chase scene and cutting out all the back story. It’s a good condensation of the first 30 minutes, and I can’t really say for certain that the movie would have been worse off without it. It’s pretty cool to watch the movie like this and just let the dialogue and character interaction fill the gaps, but I can definitely see why this wasn’t in the final version.

Special Features:

  • Cast Gag Reel
  • Alternate Opening
  • Deleted Scenes

  • Film
  • Special Features
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User Rating 3.19 (16 votes)
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