Friday the 13th (2009) (DVD / Blu-ray)

Friday the 13th (2009) on DVD and Blu-ray (Click here for larger image)Reviewed by Uncle Creepy

Starring Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears, Danielle Panabaker

Directed by Marcus Nispel

Distributed by New Line Home Entertainment

Those of you out there who are familiar with me know exactly how I feel about Platinum Dunes’ remake of Friday the 13th. It infuriates me, but not because it’s bad. Truth be told, it’s not a horrible movie; it just never feels like a Friday the 13th flick. Take a listen to the F13 Dinner for Fiends episode for an in-depth spite-laden discussion of what went wrong.

A week or so after the film was released in theatres, Platinum Dunes producer Brad Fuller wrote this on the official Platinum Dunes Blog:

“We are finishing up on the Unrated DVD this week. That DVD will rock! We have a different cut of movie, that not only has more violence and sex, but it has an additional storyline that is totally different from the movie you will see in theaters. Its not like we just cut a few things differently, the DVD version will feel like a different movie.”

Fans everywhere, myself included, were intrigued. When the product came in for review, I went immediately to my home theatre system to drink it in. Could it be? Would this new “Killer Cut” fix at least some of the problems that existed in its theatrical cousin, and more importantly, would the difference in the cut really be that drastic?

Allow me to be the first to call bullshit. It’s mostly hyperbole. Let me dissect —

Friday the 13th (2009) on DVD and Blu-ray (Click here for larger image)“We are finishing up on the Unrated DVD this week …”

The “Killer Cut”, which clocks in at 106 minutes (the theatrical cut was 97 minutes), is still rated R. Curious.

“We have a different cut of movie, that not only has more violence and sex, but it has an additional storyline that is totally different from the movie you will see in theaters. Its not like we just cut a few things differently, the DVD version will feel like a different movie.”

First the good. In terms of sex, yes, there’s more to be found here. Fans who drooled over the chicks in theatres will be happy to know that even more “perfect nipple placement” makes it in, as well as some additional blood spillage and longer looks at some of the film’s kills. It should be mentioned that said kills are still pretty uninspired, but at least they’re a bit, and let me stress the word “bit”, gorier.

Now the bad. The additional storyline. If you don’t want any spoilers, skip this paragraph. We get one scene broken up into two parts: At one point when Jason comes home to his lair, he has another flashback of his mom being beheaded and proceeds to throw a hissy-fit by throwing stuff around. Once he storms away, his captive (since when does Jason take hostages?) Whitney (Amanda Righetti) escapes by picking her lock. From there is a cool little moment as she falls into the room in which Jason stockpiles his corpses and immediately flees for her life, only to have Jason grab her at the point of freedom to chain her back up. That’s it. How in the world this scene can constitute a bold statement like, “the DVD version will feel like a different movie” is beyond me.

Friday the 13th (2009) on DVD and Blu-ray (Click here for larger image)In fact, these changes aren’t even close to drastic. I’m sorry, Mr. Fuller, but you did “just cut a few things differently”. Nothing more. Still, I’ll give them this … this cut, if only for the few more seconds of sex and violence, plays better and is a bit more of a fulfilling experience than what we got in theatres.

Yet, in the end, these additions do nothing more than put a band-aid on a gushing wound. The film still has its problems. Instead of faux grit, Nispel gives us blue lens flares by the dozen. The music is miscued. The “captive” storyline is senseless and completely out of character. The kills are too basic … I can go on forever.

Here’s all that had to happen: Kids show up. Kids die. Roll credits. That’s it. It’s really that simple, and how this formula got screwed up is a complete and utter mystery. The Friday the 13th remake is over-produced, over-shot, over-thought, and not over soon enough. But its biggest sin? It’s just not fun, and that’s something that every Friday film, for all of their missteps and misfires, homo-erotic shaving bits and imposters, were.

The only really good thing I can say about it is that Derek Mears was amazing as Jason. He was the only one who seemed genuinely concerned with making a good Friday the 13th movie. It’s a shame he didn’t get more to work with. I pray that in the future he’ll return to the role with a director at the helm who actually understands the series. We shall see.

Friday the 13th (2009) on DVD and Blu-ray (Click here for larger image)Now let’s talk supplemental features, shall we? DVD owners? You’re out of luck. All the really good stuff is on the Blu-ray, which I’ll get to in a second. Standard def fans will have two short things to sift through, an eleven-minute examination of what it took to ready the masked one for a new audience entitled The Rebirth of Jason Voorhees, and a few deleted scenes that include the original way Jason got his hockey mask, which was way better than what we got in the theatrical version, and the original way Jason was dispatched, which was pretty pitiful. That’s it.

The Blu-ray has those bits, both in HD, and more. First the extraneous stuff. Included with the Blu are both the “Killer” and theatrical cuts of the film, a standard def digital copy, and Warners’ version of BD-Live, which allows you access to exclusive downloads, etc. Good stuff. From there we get a pop-up Terror Trivia track, which allows viewers to test their knowledge of the franchise as well as dig on some behind-the-scenes footage, all while the movie is playing. Nice. Next up we get the Hacking Back/Slashing Forward featurette, which explores how the cast and crew of this latest entry feel about the Friday franchise in general. This was actually pretty cool because it conjures lots of nostalgia. “Where were you the first time you saw …” type stuff. Lord knows we all have those stories. And finally, we get The Seven Best Kills featurette. Not of the franchise, mind you — just the Platinum Dunes remake. Really what this is, is just an account of how some of the film’s key F/X sequences were pulled off, but it’s presented in probably one of the most masturbatory “Look what a great job that we did” ways imaginable. I’m still kind of taken aback. Whatever.

It should also be mentioned that the Blu-ray looks and sounds amazingly better than its DVD cousin. One thing is for sure, in 1080p, the film looks absolutely jaw-dropping. Rarely do I find myself saying wow, but in this case? WOW!

And there you have it, folks. The bottom line — Friday the 13th 2009 is at its heart a mediocre slasher film that just happens to have Jason in it. If you’re cool with that, you’ll probably love this, but for us faithful extreme Jason fanatics? Our best days with Big J are either behind us or have yet to come. A Part 2 is inevitable, and I, like many, am still keeping my fingers crossed. Please, Platinum Dunes, give us what we want — imaginative kills, gore-a-plenty, and bring back Mears!

Special Features

  • Bonus digital copy (Blu-ray only)
  • Warner Bros. BD Live Enabled (Blu-ray only)
  • Terror Trivia Track (Blu-ray only)
  • Two cuts of the film (Blu-ray only)
  • Hacking Back/Slashing Forward featurette (Blu-ray only)
  • The Seven Best Kills featurette (Blu-ray only)
  • The Rebirth of Jason Voorhees featurette
  • Additional Slashed Scenes


    2 1/2 out of 5

    Special Features:

    3 1/2 out of 5

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  • Steve Barton

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    • NeoKefka

      I just saw this and I gotta agree with the haters. This movie was a waste of time. They had a chance to really make a kickass Friday the 13th and instead they just made the most generic and unimaginative sequel (Yes, it’s a freakin’ sequel.) they could come up with. Then they threw in a bunch of stuff that came off as more mean-spirited and sleazy than fun.

      Seriously, a woman screaming as she’s slowly roasted to death? Not. Fun. Stabbing a woman in the head and then pulling her out of the water just enough to give us a gratutious tit shot? I don’t enjoy seeing that. I enjoy seeing a naked woman who is smiling and happy and enjoying herself and being all “WOO, I’M NAKED!” Not one that just had a machete jammed through her skull cap.

      And god damn, that fucking redneck. What, is it because The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was successful that Platinum Dunes thinks they’ve got to work in a disgusting, perverted redneck into as many of their movies as possible? Were we supposed to find him funny? He was fucking vile. (The way he acted and talked, if he was in the audience for this movie, during the sex scenes you’d be hearing him making all kinds of moans and funny noises before the ushers drag his ass out.) And that simple throat slashing he got did not make up for having to watch him lick porno mags and fondle a dummy.


      I’ll admit that Derek Mears was a good Jason. Shame he was in a movie that was just more lifeless, rehashed shit.

    • doubleh55

      Would this surprise anybody if I told you that I enjoyed the film and think the negative comments are just negative for the sake of negative?

      Also, that sleeping bag kill was not a bad kill. You wanted creative kills and he does something creative and you complain about it. It’s also different enough from the originals that I really appreciated it. It also has some nice moments. A B- slasher film and definitely better than Laid to Rest.

    • Kane86

      I saw it in theaters and I just watched the killer cut last night. I saw no differences what so ever.

    • Floydian Trip

      Wow, alot of fucking comments that I don’t have the time nor the inclination to read. All I have to say, and this has been bugging me for a long time, is that why do Dread Central staff talk down to its readers about remakes all the time. “calm down it’s another remake” and such when they are almost universally ripped to shreds come review time. WHo the fuck likes remakes? Who the fuck can even tolerate them anymore? Why should we calm down about remakes when the only thing it proves is that Hollywood is creatively bankrupt. I don’t get it. I don’t think any of the readers of this site are morons. Well at least most are not.

      • Uncle Creepy

        When we say things like that it’s only out of sarcasm brought on by the very frustration you feel. We don’t talk down to any of you. Wouldn’t dream of it.

        • doubleh55

          Creepy, I just got my copy of the remake so I’m looking forward to watching it.

    • DeTuinman


      I enjoyed the remake, with all it’s flaw’s.
      It has one of the best Jason’s and is a lott better than the Halloween remake.

      What I don’t get is that most of the people who “hate” the F13 remake like Zombie’s remake, which features a Michael Meyers who is nothing like the Michael from the original series.

      Most slasher remake’s are not up to par with the originals because of money grabbing and crap, hypster, so called “fan” directors….period.

      Bloody Valentine was the best of the bunch.
      It was fun, bloody and not too serious about it.
      As a diehard slasher fan I’m just happy big J is back on the screen.

      The mind is like a parachute…it only works when it is open.

      • rupp30

        I actually don’t know anyone who thinks that Zombie’s Halloween was even remotely a good film. With that being said, I agree that the new Friday was superior to the new Halloween but they both try to heavily to become an entirely different film than what they are so saying Friday is better really isn’t saying much.

        MBV was the best, I agree, and I also agree it was great to see Jason on the big screen again (Mears played Jason extremely well) but the film just wasn’t anything even close to a “fan” directors film. I’m not even sure that Nispel saw the original Friday’s. His direction is what killed the movie the most in my opinion. I’m not going to say the script did like most people have been saying since none of the Friday films are known for good scripts. But most of them carried fun and this one most certaintly did not.


        • DeTuinman


          Lot of people I know like the Halloween remake, why…?

          It has to do with Zombie’s in built crowd, a lott of folks like his gritty, I’m a hillbilly look…
          Most of these fans are not older than say 20ish and have not seen a horror film further back than the 80’s.

          The real problem are these new, hip, genre fan directors, they have no idea how to build tension, show gore or work around a dumb script…

          Zombie, Roth, Nispel, all the other fuckers of PD, Aja and even Tarentino (Deathproof was his slasher/grindhouse tribute) make flicks with no tension at all, they may have hit the mark once or twice but in general it’s all talk and no walk.

          Enough with the remakes, give me flicks like Trick or Treat, Splinter or Rec…those are the kind of flicks that make our genre great.

          The mind is like a parachute…it only works when it is open.

    • Sirand

      I can’t believe this argument is still raging. Look, I’ve worked and/or interacted with most of the people involved in this franchise. I also didn’t grow up with these movies like most fans, which rules out the “nostalgia” argument. What it really boils down to with the F13 movies (for me) is trashy fun, creative kills, cheesy logic and classic bad-movie “WTF” moments. I got that with every film in the original series. I didn’t get that here. There was a low-budget ingenuity to the earlier films, and for all their absurdity, directors like Zito and McLoughlin were SMART “in-the-trenches” filmmakers who put genuine thought and passion into what they were crafting. The same can’t be said for the Platinum Dunes team (Bay wanted this set in a freagin’ NYC hotel, for fuck’s sake). I think that comes across on screen. The energy you got out of everything from Savini’s FX to Crispin Glover’s performance to McLoughlin’s old-school Universal motifs make all the difference when compared to Nispel’s TCM repetition and lense flares. The only real passion I felt on screen was from Derek Mears.

      Is the Friday remake technically a better film than Jason Takes Manhattan? No question, of course. But 20 years later, I’m still joking about the cheese of Part 8 (who can forget that boxing scene?) while I couldn’t remember a damn thing 5 minutes after walking out of the remake. That’s what constitutes entertainment with these movies…and PD failed to deliver, even on a bad movie level.

      Here’s hoping they grasp the tone better when they make the sequel. In the meantime, I’ll just rewatch Hatchet and Wrong Turn 2 for my slasher kicks.

      • Messiahman

        Of course, now you’ve left the door open for the HATCHET haters to reappear. 😉

        • Sirand

          Yea, now it’s our turn to get blasted for “overpraising” movies we like.

          Bring it!

        • doubleh55

          HAHA I totally didn’t see this before I posted a Hatchet hate remark. Oh that silly overrated pile of shit 🙂 I always feel like I need to end by saying that I thought Spiral was awesome.

      • rupp30

        Right after leaving the theatre from watching the new “Friday”, I immediately popped in Hatchet and Wrong Turn 2.

        It’s not that Friday was a bad movie guys. It just wasn’t fun and entertaining and like Sirand says, these movies are about the fun and entertainment and Platinum Dunes, and more specifically Marcus Nispel, did not deliever the good in terms of that.

        Now, on the other hand, films like Hatchet and Wrong Turn 2 for example, brought fun to the table and were very entertaining. I will never forget the lady in Hatchet who gets her head practically ripped off or the gas powered sander scene. Those were fun and entertaining. Were at all did Friday have a scene that made it stick out in your mind that it was something worth remembering because after watching it a second time (sadly) I still can’t find even one. If Nispel and company could have kept the enthusiam that the first twenty minutes carried this could have been a decent film, a way better film than it was but I never got what I wanted from it and that’s why I do not like the new Friday the 13th.


        • doubleh55

          I haven’t seen F13 remake yet but I highly doubt it’s that much worse than Hatchet. Holy fuck balls that movie is ridiculously overrated. I wish more people would talk about Spiral more.

          Wrong Turn 2? That movie is the shiznit and I completely believe it’s better than the F13 remake.

          • rupp30

            I really don’t get why people don’t like Hatchet. Everyone I know enjoyed the hell out of it yet everyone hates on it. It was a fun 75 minutes of pure slasher goodness. That’s something that this new friday most definately does not have going for it.


            • doubleh55

              Here are some reasons:

              1. Not that funny.
              2. The camera work completely takes me out of the one kill that should have been great.
              3. The lack of established rules so you spend half of it saying “What the…”
              4. The general lack of good acting.
              5. The general bad marketing treating it like a savior (I know not Green’s fault)
              6. The horrible ending
              7. No characters to root for

              It definitely has some things going for it so it’s not like it’s a total waste but it’s certainly not a good movie. Adam Green is going to do a WHOLE lot better for himself.

            • PelusaMG

              I agree that the ending was lame, but I enjoyed the film and thought it was a ‘fun’ time. Didn’t expect to see anything that would change my world, nor did I expect it to be the greatest film ever made, but it more than lived up to the hype of being something more than average horror/slasher fare.

            • Uncle Creepy

              Green never wanted to change anything with Hatchet. Just make a movie that revered the slasher movies we all know and love. He did that in spades.

            • Terminal

              The hell he did. It was a horror comedy that was neither horrifying nor funny. It’s not the worst movie ever made, but it’s definitely not a masterpiece either.

            • rupp30

              but it wasn’t made to change the slasher genre nor to be a masterpiece. it was made to be pure gory slasher fun and that is where it delivered. green’s film was way better than the new friday. thats my opinion. i don’t care if you like it or not because my opinion isn’t going to change.


            • doubleh55

              I don’t want your opinion to change.

              Even as an “homage” to slasher films it’s pretty lame. Other than their blatant attempt at ripping off the villain from Madman, what other slasher films of the 80s had an unstoppable killer like the one shown in Hatchet? Always looking for new slashers to watch.

            • Terminal

              If you don’t get it now, you won’t get it when it’s explained to you. “Hatchet” is overrated, overblown swill and Green is never going to change the way we think about slasher movies, that’s for sure. I’d be harder on the guy but “Spiral” was really good.

    • NYC-Hearts

      I never have understood the hate towards the film; it fits pretty well in the cannon of brain-dead, opportunistic, commerical films of the original series. With a few lines of dialogue dropped here or there, it easily could have been a straight sequel.

      Yet, it’s fun; it’s dumb; it’s better than some of the original series sequels. I cannot help but think some people have a less than objective memory of the old series–nostalgia is not a good thing, my friends….

      • Uncle Creepy

        Oh, I’m plenty objective. I just know insipid crap when I see it too. Even if you erase every F13 film from memory this is still a very mediocre film. I guess “fun” is in the eye of the beholder because I can name at least 5 other slasher films within the last five years that totally got the formula right. MBV3D is a big time for instance.

        • Messiahman

          “I just know insipid crap when I see it too.”

          This from the man who liked the festering piece of dogshit known as WOLVERINE.

          This from the man who ranked CLOVERFIELD far above LET THE RIGHT ONE IN.

          This from the man who once defended BOOGEYMAN and WHITE NOISE.

          Spare me the rhetoric – you embrace “insipid crap” at every available chance and dry hump it within an inch of its life. You’re not a critic; you’re a fanboy. And you don’t even know the difference between the two.

          Sorry, but I’m laughing so hard I don’t know if I can type anymore. 😀

          • Uncle Creepy

            Please, I gave booth Boogeyman and White Noise a 2 1/2 out of 5 so there goes that argument. As for Cloverfield over let the Right One In, I actually rated LTRoI higher than I did Clovie so there goes all the air sucked out of that nonsensical argument. You should check your facts before you dribble out your diatribes. On my year end list I gave the nod to Clovie, why? Because it was MY PERSONAL LIST and I like giant monster flicks much more than vamp flicks.

            I suppose you’ve NEVER liked ANYTHING that went against popular opinion (oh wait, you like the F13 remake) to further cement your oh so coveted position of Film Snob Supreme who had to “quit the internet” like a lil boy who had to go home with his ball before someone scuffed it.

            You claim to be this “great debater” but as proved above you don’t possess the verbal skills to discuss a film without resorting to being condescending and hurling insults. “I’m not getting through to Creepy with my incessant babble so let me attack his position as a reviewer!” Give me a break, dude. Not only is that kind of stuff laughable, it crosses the line, and it’s needless.

            Here’s my thing … I’m looking to be entertained. Plain and simple. I’m not looking for anyone to reinvent the wheel, and I really don’t expect such. If a movie isn’t that great, but at the very least entertains me, I’ll make sure I mention that in my review or when I talk to people about it. For that you should be thankful Mr. Shark Swarm. Now can we just embrace on a beach while ludicrously sappy music plays until the end credits roll on this discussion?

            • Messiahman

              Goddamnit. I had this terribly witty retort all planned out, but then the visual of me and Creepy embracing on a beach got me all flustered. Curse your manliness! 😀

      • The Buz

        You deserve an internet cookie.

      • Messiahman

        “I cannot help but think some people have a less than objective memory of the old series–nostalgia is not a good thing, my friends….”

        Truer words have never been spoken, my friend.

      • Masked Slasher

        The hate comes from the fact that it’s a whopping bore.

        The kills were concocted with zero imagination or flare, and they managed to have less gore than some of the earier victims of the MPAA. Wow, thanks Fuller.

        There’s been a lot of talk about people “blinded my nostalgia” … that’s just not the case. I grew up with My Bloody Valentine, same as F13, and I had a blast with the remake. The filmmakers of that movie understood what worked about the original while expanding on its story.

        There’s other recent slasher flicks, Cold Prey, for example, that feel MORE like a F13 flick than the remake did.

        The hate comes from the fact that you can slap the F13 brand on this thing but, call it what you will, this isn’t Friday the 13th.

    • mrmordrid

      Just in case no one else got this. The WHOLE reason why Jason kept that girl hostage was because she reminded him of his mother.Plain and simple.

      • Heather Buckley

        So he is hanging with Leatherface AND Norman Bates. When is New Line making this flick? My 3 Psychos (daaa daa da da da daaa daa…)

      • Uncle Creepy

        Dude, everyone got this. The problem is that the notion of Jason keeping anyone alive is ridiculous.

        • Messiahman

          You’re a broken record.

          The only ridiculous thing here is your continued insistence to truly understand a character who was never defined beyond the need for sequels. A character who was reinvented for a remake.

          Sorry dude, the motivation for him taking the girl as a keepsake was given. It’s right there in the movie. You’re judging based on OTHER movies because you’re clearly incapable of separating them and seeing this film as a separate entity, thus your argument is inherently flawed. You fail to grasp that you don’t even HAVE an argument.

          But I get it. I’m addressing logic and structure, while you’re only concerned with emotion tied into past films (no newsflash there – your past reviews haven’t EVER leaned toward logic). And never the twain shall meet.

          So do us a favor and top calling yourself “objective” – every post you’ve made saying “Jason wouldn’t do that” proves that you don’t know the meaning of the word and marks you as a hypocrite. You’re as far from objective as I am from getting Paris Hilton’s phone number.

          • Uncle Creepy

            Talk about a broken record. I could accept the above IF you were actually a fan of these films and held them with some degree of regard, nostalgic or otherwise. The fact is you’ve made it abundantly clear several times that you aren’t. That being said, I’m not entirely sure that you’re even cut out for this discussion much less have the chops for it.

            What the remake did with Voorhees for me, speaking as a fan, is akin to taking Rambo and turning him into a florist. As a reviewer I’ve stated many times that the film, while not horrible, is just a mediocre slasher flick that happens to have a hockey masked killer in it named Jason.

            Being that you’re neither a fan nor a critic your petty argumentative insults and aforementioned douchebaggery hold about as much water for me as a fishtank fashioned from nylon.

            • Messiahman

              Actually, it’s not being a fan of the original films that makes me truly objective. N’cest pas?

            • Emy

              “N’cest pas?”

              You probably mean “N’est-ce pas?”


              Careful when using another language’s expressions… Switching letters around can make the meaning change greatly.

            • Messiahman

              I only took one year of French in high school.

              And that’s just because all the hot girls were in that class.

            • Emy

              Ah, that explains it.

              Then maybe you should leave the French language to those of speak it fluently.

              I know a bit of Spanish, Japanese and German but rarely use them as I would most likely end up making a mistake and looking like a fool.


          You seem to be defending your opinion like myself and H2, But I have to agree with you, Jason would never “keep pets” nor hostages, Ever!

    • zombiekiller81

      I’m with Uncle Creepy on this one Jason does not take hostages period I felt like I was watching Leatherface in a hockey mask not Jason Voorhees. I mean let’s see Leatherface took hostages, set traps, etc but not once did I ever see Jason in the original series take a hostage. The fact that they had him do that in the remake is a spit in the face to the loyal fans of the original series that and there is no imaginative kills. I can only hope that when they do the sequel Jason doesn’t take a hostage that reminds him of his father lol

      • Heather Buckley

        Well maybe Leatherface and Jason frequent bars together and they share secrets. The redux of Leatherface acts A LOT like Jason he’s bigger, a juggernaut, lacks any sorta lil’ kid cuddle factor. I am telling you it’s true.

    • Rob

      In terms of the kills, while I think they could’ve been more creative (mainly Aaron Yoo’s death and the redneck), that wasn’t my main issue with the second half. It was how Jason killed. In the opening, he didn’t fuck around, and tore through the first group fast, brutal, and with a bit of a mean streak (the sleeping bag kill). With the second group, I don’t know, I felt like they could’ve used a few more kids because the deaths were stretched out more and screwed with the pacing, and none of the kills were carried out as viciously as the opening ones were, but that’s just my opinion.

      • rupp30

        I agree 100%. I thought the opening 20 minutes were great and carried some fun to it. It’s the rest of the movie that really ruined it for me. Jason isn’t supposed to be a smart killer. He is supposed to be a ruthless mean killing machine and that’s exactly what he was with the first group of kids. The next group comes along and the next thing you know he’s holding a girl captive, he’s using people as bait to kill others? It just wasn’t the Jason I’m used to I guess. I did love Mears as the character but the direction for everything after the opening twenty mintues put the movie at a level of mediocrity for me.

        Hey, at least it wasn’t near as bad as that dreaded Jason X though, right?


    • vorodex999

      I’m glad everyone wants Mears back as Jason, He did a really good job and he’s and awesome guy also he’s quite funny. I was able to see him and Tyler Mane at Texas Frightmare Festival here in Dallas and they had a Boogeyman Discussion Bopard with them both and they are both equally hilarious but totally devoted fans of horror.

    • rupp30

      Brad Fuller is completely full of shit. If I had the chance to meet him I’d hit him in the face real hard.

      I agree that it wasn’t a bad movie but in no way, shape, or form was this even remotely close to the Jason films of the 80’s. I would have liked to have seen someone like Adam Green direct this movie. He understands what a slasher films is, understands the grittiness, he gets it. And remember the deaths in Hatchet? So fucking creative. Why couldn’t they do that for this instead of making it the most disappointing movie I’ve seen in a long time?


    • Uncle Creepy

      All this talk about how this flick was “the same” exact kind of movie as the originals makes me laugh. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

      As I wrote in my review …the original series for all its missteps, shortcomings, and nonsense were still fun and brimming with energy. The remake with the exception of the opening had none of that. It was just your stale, standard, slasher fare.

      Metaphorically speaking … the old films were like getting a greasy burger served to you on a stained sliver of cardboard. This one was like getting a burger — who the chef claims is absolutely healthy for you — served on a piece of fine china.

      Again, I’m not saying this movie is horrible. It’s not. It’s just kind of there, and in the end the formula and the fun got lost in the mix.

      Marcus Nispel was the wrong guy for the job. He obviously didn’t get the previous films or he thought they were all shit (which is admittedly hard to argue) and figured he’d “show us” by making the movie “his” way without any regard for what came before.

      Just because a killer with a hockey mask is in the movie doesn’t make it a Friday the 13th movie. If I showed up at your house with dough, sauce, and cheese, that doesn’t mean I could make you a good Pizza with out understanding how its done by the people who have made it before me.

      • Messiahman

        “Just because a killer with a hockey mask is in the movie doesn’t make it a Friday the 13th movie.”

        Actually, yes it does. Toss out as many absurd fast food analogies as you want, but the fact is you’re comparing apples and apples.

        ALL the movies are stale slasher fare, made cynically with only money in mind and no concern whatsoever for quality. Nobody who worked on this series (at least in the early going) gave a shit about it – it was only created as a cheap quickie ripoff of HALLOWEEN. That’s why they’re such shitty horror films. Fans only embrace them due to pure nostalgia. The only hilarious thing here is your continual wrongheaded assertion that they are nothing alike simply proves how blind and stupid nostalgia makes people.

        They’re EXACTLY the same. EXACTLY. And no amount of nostalgic masturbation can change that. Fuck, they were even made for exactly the same reasons – to make cash off a formula.

        • Masked Slasher

          You’re being awfully presumptuous when you say that none of the early Friday filmmakers gave a shit about the material. I have a feeling Joe Zito and Tom McLoughlin might beg to differ with you.

          The new Friday missed the mark because it’s not the same as the originals, despite claims from the filmmakers that they were adhering to the first four.

          There’s no tension, no suspense and a whole lot of stupid characters. If the older Friday fodder weren’t exactly fleshed out characters, they weren’t degenerates either. Sure they smoked pot and had sex, but they weren’t DEFINED by these things. As soon as one of the characters in the new Friday pulled a special bong out from a protective case, I knew these guys didn’t understand what made the originals work.

          They original Fridays existed because they were cheap and lucarative. NO KIDDING. But they were also effective at what they tried to do. They offered creative deaths, some scares and suspense. The new one couldn’t get one of these things right, let alone all of them.

          Creepy is right, Nipsel wasn’t the man for this job. He ended up remaking HIS Chainsaw film again more than giving us a proper F13 film. But hopefully they’ll get it right next time.

          • Messiahman

            “There’s no tension, no suspense and a whole lot of stupid characters.”

            You just described every single one of the F13 movies. None of them are scary or suspenseful (unless you’re a preadolescent who doesn’t get out to the movies much) none of them have anything other than broad character types defined by single characteristics (I find your argument to the contrary to be hilarious beyond belief, incidentally). The F13 films contain some of the worst character writing in history, and to deny this is to be utterly blinded by nostalgia.

    • Sirand

      You can’t argue quality when it comes to Friday flicks. They were all technically BAD slasher knock-offs.

      However, the old movies were FUN to watch. Creepy is dead on when he calls this film over-produced without much energy. That’s exactly what it was. The trashy low-budget vibe is gone. “Comic reliefs” who are more annoying than the redneck family in Part V. The kills were lousy and uninspired and – WORSE YET – the film teases you with a hundred cool pay offs before going with the most dull scenario each and every time. It’s like getting a bad hand-job where you leave frustrated that you didn’t get off.

      The TCM remake was faux-grit, this film was faux-trash. It’s generic Hollywood mediocrity, and nobody’s gonna be talking about it years later. People still get together at revival screenings to get drunk and hoot and hollar with their buddies for the old Friday movies. No one will do the same with this film.

      How come MBV 3-D gave us more fun kills with a SINGLE weapon than this film did with an entire arsenal and a badass Jason? I’ll take that film, Hatchet or Wrong Turn 2, which had an actual love and understanding of the slasher genre, over this poser bullshit.

      • Didn’t See It Coming

        Personally I thought Wrong Turn was the better of the two. Part 2 was just kind of “meh” for me mostly due to the acting and the characters. But I do agree that it was a much better slasher movie than this Friday the 13th.

      • Messiahman

        Actually, I’d say the low budget vibe is still pretty much there. Adjusting for inflation, this would’ve cost the same as Part 4 back in the day. It’s just that this is the first film in the series that was shot by a talented cinematographer. Up until Part 6, the Friday films looked like absolute shit. Call it low budget charm if it makes you feel better. I’ll still call it shit, and I’ll take Daniel Pearl’s cinematography on this one any day over the shitty palates of the others. Incidentally, what does “overproduced” even mean? That’s just some hollow catchphrase you invented to bolster your nonexistent argument. Just because a movie is shot and lit well, you don’t like it? It’s not like it’s filled with rapid-fire editing, jump cuts and tons of shaky cam. It just happens to be the first in the series that genuinely looks good.

        It moves quickly and doesn’t pause much for character. Again, exactly what all the other films did, only this one has some better actors and a little more playful metahumor.

        As for comic relief and kills, that’s where we get down to pure opinion. I say that it all worked perfectly, while you disagree. Which is fine.

        But then again, you’re the guy who ranted and raved about TCM: THE BEGINNING as being one of the best horror films in ages (yeah, I brought it up – deal with it) so I think I can be pardoned for finding your opinion to be questionable in the least.

        But I’m beating a dead horse here. After all, Buz and A.J. Bowen already destroyed you and Creepy in that Dinner For Fiends debate you had a while back.

        Continue to argue that this film is OOMPLETELY DIFFERENT than all the other identical films, and I’ll continue to laugh at your foolishness.

        • Uncle Creepy

          Destroyed? Hardly. That call was beards vs. BRAINS. 😉

          • Messiahman

            You and Andrew grew out your beards for that one? 😉

            • Uncle Creepy

              No matter who wins … we lose. Oh, look. An AVP reference. Daniel Pearl phoned it in on one of those flicks too didn’t he? 😉

              Pearl was the least of the villains here. I said in the review that the movie looked good. It was Nispel’s direction and an unusually dull script that were at fault here.

            • Messiahman

              Who knows what Daniel Pearl really did on that AVP flick? After all, they completely killed any of his compositions with the darkest color correction I’ve ever seen.

              You can’t blame the guy for what happens to his work in postproduction.

              As for Nispel’s direction, I found it just fine. The kids died on cue and the setpieces were suitably tense (indeed, the killer cut features an incredibly well-directed scene that times Whitney’s escape with a multiple orgasm that tops off the “perfect nipple placement” bit). Jason’s attack on the house is also well-handled, with some truly iconic hero shots nicely thrown into the mix.

              And the script was no different than ANY of the scripts that came before, aside from the fact that it had a sense of humor that actually worked for once. Sorry, but I found Aaron Yoo very funny, and I laughed aloud at the aforementioned “perfect nipple placement” scene.

              As I said already, the only thing the film is guilty of is NOT being different than the films that preceded it.

            • Sirand

              I wanted Aaron Yoo’s unfunny ass to get butchered horribly in the toolshed full of cool instruments of destruction. Unfortunately the movie lacked the fucking foresight to do anything cool with that.

              Seriously, what kind of film introduces a woodchipper and doesn’t even use it properly?

            • Messiahman

              Yoo was great and was funnier than any of the humor in the earlier movies. It’s your sense of humor that sucks, as we’ve already established.

              And you apparently weren’t paying attention, as Yoo was killed horribly by having a screwdriver from the toolshed slowly rammed through his throat(even more gorily in the killer cut).

              The woodchipper also figured prominently in the climax. It was used to dispatch Jason himself. Apparently, you don’t seem to understand the structure of “setup” and “payoff.” But then again, you also confused “ironic kills” with “lame visual puns,” so I guess I’m not surprised.

              Seriously, what kind of person demands things from a movie that are already there?

              Maybe you stepped out for popcorn a few too many times.

            • Sirand

              A screwdriver. In a toolshed of power blades, chainsaws, hooks and other wild weapons, we get…a screwdriver.

              If your idea of “payoff” is to see the opening of a woodchipper bang a guy in the back of the head and knock him unconscious for the grand finale, you’re simply too easy to please. That kind of uninspired bullshit made the ending of Jason Takes Manhattan seem like Chinatown.

            • Uncle Creepy

              120% agreed. Come on, man, really.

            • The Buz

              One day I’m sure you guys will admit to yourself that the only thing that is making you say the original movies are better than this one is silly fan boy nostalgia.

              You can say this movie is crap all you want, because honestly, it is, however the reasons you give for not liking this one can be applied to EVERY SINGLE FUCKING FRIDAY MOVIE EVER MADE.

            • Uncle Creepy

              You feel this way Buz because — as you’ve stated before — you don’t really give a shit either way because you’re not a big fan of these films.

              Talk to me after the eventual Marcus Nispel helmed Platinum Dunes version of JAWS in which the shark is only interested in looking good in front of a lens flare while rounding up swimmers, instead of biting people and causing terror on the beach.

              Huzzah! I rest my in my case! SCIENCE! 😉

            • Didn’t See It Coming

              Actually, no it can’t be applied to them. Well, I’m only speaking mostly about 2 and 4 which are my favourites, and I can’t believe filmmakers are actually say this, but just because you have the same elements in place and basically the same set up, you don’t have nearly the same execution. Nothing in the second half of the film sat well with me because it was uninspired. The ending was one of the dumbest I’ve seen in a while and to perfectly honest with you, nostalgia aside, they had an opportunity to try and make a GOOD, genuinely GOOD movie and opted for something dull.

              The funny thing is that you and MM are admittedly not big fans of the original series anyway so I can see your perspective in that respect, but as fans of the series we know what we were looking for and the first 20 minutes blew away what I was looking for. I couldn’t care less that Jason took a plaything or whatever because it wasn’t in his “character”, but rather because it was a weak and transparent plot device to mislead the audience on who the final girl actually was. Was it really a suprise when whatsherface died? If it was then I feel sorry for that person because they need to watch more movies.

              I don’t have a problem with Jason shooting arrows, or throwing axes. I have a problem with Jason using a machete through 90% of the kills and in a boring way.

              Mind you all, I NEVER said I hated the movie, I just feel like they could have done so much better than what they did. Yes, the originals are bad movies, but again, they’re fun. Something I didn’t feel in Friday after the title screen.

              I honestly think the movie we’re working on will have more of the Friday spirit than this did, which is a shame because I was hoping for something a damn site better than OK.

            • Messiahman

              The woodchipper is used to first hang Jason, and then its blades actually SAW INTO the back of his head. There’s a nice closeup of the blades biting into his skull (again, I’m referencing the director’s cut). And the screwdriver kill is great – Yoo grabs it as a weapon and has it turned against him. It’s bloody and slow. Nothing wrong with that.

              And incidentally, it wasn’t a toolshed filled with implements of destruction. It was a garage filled with non-lethal junk.

              Again, I prefer this back to the basics technique for the reboot; this Jason is mean, quick and lethal. The over-the-top kills of the later films (which are the ones you seem to like) would have been completely out of place here.

              You’d know that if you understood anything about the tone of the movie.

              But you clearly don’t.

            • Sirand

              Please. There was no tone. It’s a movie that wanted to have it both ways by being a fun body count film with kills that tried to be disturbing and realistic.

              To me, “back to basics” simply means “we couldn’t come up with anything ourselves.”

            • Messiahman

              Are you still talking?

              Because you’re not saying anything new or valid. 😉

            • Didn’t See It Coming

              Yoo’s stoner was NOT funnier than Glover’s dance. I’m callin shenanigans!

            • Uncle Creepy

              What can I say other than you have a shit sense of humor? There was nothing, funny nor charming about any of it. It was just stale –going through the motions– bullshit.

              The original films were fun. YES they weren’t the best movies, and YES they were only made to cash in on the Friday craze but the directors that they had at their helms had and put energy into their work. They were all void of sense and sported that fact in an unabashed manner.

              Friday ’09 plays more like a blundered attempt to bring Jason into a more stylized, glossy, mainstream light.

              Even the most key ingredient was thrown to the wind — the kills.

              How in the world you OR ANYONE could say that the kills here were enjoyable is a mystery to me. They sucked. The ones found in MBV3D put EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM to shame.

              There was no tension. There was barely any gore. And they lacked any and all irony that made the series so toungue-in-cheek ghoulish to begin with.

              How do you start a Friday flick with an offscreen kill that has ZERO payoff once the body is found? HOW?!? That alone is grounds to tell this movie to screw off!

            • Messiahman

              W”hat can I say other than you have a shit sense of humor?”

              What can I say other than that you have demonstrated for years that you have mostly shitty taste?

              How about I just parrot what is now commonly known as The Creepy Defense: “What can I say, I was entertained. I liked it.”

              Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? How many hundreds of truly godawful films have you used that one on now? I’ve certainly lost count. ;-D

            • Sirand

              Creepy and I got “destroyed?” Huh. And you would know this HOW? Seeing as how that DFF was lost and nobody ever heard the episode – in the words of Mr Clifford Blair – “I call bullshit on that.”

            • Uncle Creepy

              For the record … I haven’t lost a war of the words since pre-school. And when I did I smacked the kid across the head with a chair.

            • Messiahman

              Well, call Guiness, because me and my joie de vivre are moppin’ the floor with ya. 😉

            • Uncle Creepy

              Dude, I’m not even arguing with you here. You see things your way (which is dead wrong) and I see it mine (which is Right). 🙂

              Here are the facts … people are going to either love or hate this flick. Either way its only because we love the series so much that we’re passionate about it.

            • Messiahman

              It’s so cute how you say I’m wrong after I kick the hell out of both you and Andrew in a debate.

              Maybe we should stage a DFF rematch… I mean, it doesn’t look like kane86 is gonna be responding any time soon. ;-0

            • Uncle Creepy

              What kind of “hell” exactly did you kick out? Just because your dribbled out several paragraphs of nonsense doesn’t make your flagrantly ludicrous, shit-for-brains pertaining to this subject douchebaggery any more relevant. 😉

            • Messiahman

              Please explain to me how anything I said was nonsensical. After all, I’m curious what constitutes nonsense to someone who continually blathers “Jason wouldn’t do that” ad nauseum.

              The only nonsense is your repeated insistence that only you seem to know “what Jason would do.” What you’re attempting to do is take fan ownership of a complete non-character. THAT is nonsense of the highest order, good sir.

              For someone whose many positive reviews of terrible films often amount to nothing more than “what can I say, I had fun with it,” you’d do very well to stay away from the subject of relevancy.

            • krawlingkhaos

              There was a DFF that covered Friday the 13th (2009): “Friday the Third Taint” I believe. I think everyone agreed to disagree and no one really liked it.

            • Messiahman

              Are you forgetting that I was there for most of it? Although I wasn’t on the line, I was hanging with you guys when it went down.

              Decision: Buz and A.J. 😉

            • Sirand

              You were hanging with Buz…which means you heard 1/4th of the argument. “Destroyed,” my undead ass.

            • Messiahman

              Fact is, your argument was the same weak one it is here.

              And I’ve already trampled that argument into mush without even tiring my typing fingers. But then again, that’s what happens EVERY time we argue over films, isn’t it?

              Oh, and for the record, I heard every word (Buz had you on speaker). I especially liked it when you completely misused the word “ironic.” Dictionaries are your friend.

              Just admit that I’m always right, and your life will be so much easier. 😉

            • Sirand

              Buz was on speaker phone? I think we would have been able to tell that…unless of course Buz has one of those high-powered NASA satellite phones.

            • Messiahman

              Dude, argue as much as you want; you’re just getting more ridiculous. I heard your same pathetic argument then, and I even just referenced specific segments of it.

              And even on a regular line, Creepy’s so boisterous that the neighbors can hear him. 😉

    • Cody

      I have no problem with him keeping Whitney in his lair. As far as he’s concerned, she’s his mother. He has to keep her around and alive. I thought it was an interesting extrapolation on the ending of part 2. If things had worked out differently for Jason, maybe Ginny would’ve ended up locked in the shack for a while. I’d buy it there. I bought it here.

      • Uncle Creepy

        Yeah, but that plot device worked in Part 2 because Jason was a mongoloid and easily confused. If he were like that here I’d have little to no issue with it, but in comparison to any other Jason this one is friggin’ Einstein.

        • PelusaMG

          You telling me that only mongaloids get confused by women, but smart guys see right through them?

          • Uncle Creepy

            Dude, regular confusion is one thing … genuinely thinking they’re the person who reared you is quite another. LOL

            • PelusaMG

              I’m willing to buy into the idea that Jason could have been so traumatised by the death of his mother, that he takes a young surrogate as her replacement. I mean, no-one bats an eyelid when Norman Bates keeps the corpse of his deceased mother around, and even dresses up like her to kill the guests, but suddenly there are issues with Jason doing something ‘out of the ordinary’ in response to the normal human feeling of grief (I use those words deliberately by the way). I mean, sure Jason is a superhuman killing machine, but lest we forget that despite being ‘super’, he is also still ‘human’.

            • Uncle Creepy

              Bates and Voorhees are apples and oranges, man. No matter what argument you make, or no matter how you spin it, Jason Voorhees his long and blood soaked career would NEVER have taken a play thing, a hostage, or even a spare second before killing someone. You got in his line of fire. You died. Simple.

              And by the way … Jason stopped being human after part 4.

            • krawlingkhaos

              You could argue (perhaps not very convincingly) that rather than being fooled, Jason WANTS to believe that the girl is his mother, even while knowing she isn’t (I do not believe he’s retarded, just severely emotionally disturbed). It seems like Jason is motivated to kill teenagers in retaliation for his own lost adolescence; finding a surrogate mother would allow him to rediscover the only human connection he ever had; the younger she is the younger he must be by extension. Active denial might explain why he chained his ‘mother’ to the floor; he knew it wasn’t his mother but really wanted it to be. He did hesitate in 2 and got a shovel to the neck for it; it seems like his mother or the childhood image of himself (even ignoring FvJ) are the only things that can cause him to hesitate. Maybe. Or maybe I’m putting more thought into Jason’s psychology than I should. I think the whole thing would have worked better if at they found the girl dressed in Mrs. Vorhees’ clothes with a giant machete gash in her head from where Jason was unable to stop that massive swing from before the credits.

              Wow, I spent a lot of time thinking about a movie I didn’t like very much at all. I mostly see the new F13 as a wasted oppurtunity to actually make Jason scary again.

            • Uncle Creepy

              Congrats. That’s the best reasoning I’ve seen yet.

            • PelusaMG

              So let me ask you this: Is there evidence of Jason ‘stalking/toying’ with his victims before he kills them? If so, this implies he has the ability to reason and think beyond that of a simple-ton ‘killing machine’. Also, the argument about him not being human after Part 4 does not apply here. The remake/reboot/rehash (whatever) of F13 (IMO), seemed to dip into only the first three films… If so, in F13 (2009) he is still largely human, and not just a pure killing machine lacking any motivation.

    • NeoKefka

      You know. Looking over this comments section, I gotta say it’s a shame you guys never got to do that DFF that had F13 Haters vs. Defenders.

      • Uncle Creepy

        We did do it. But due to the service that we use to record our conference calls shitting the bed, it was lost.

    • Spaceshark

      This discussion makes me feel so YOUNG. I love it.

    • doubleh55

      “but it’s presented in probably one of the most masturbatory “Look what a great job that we did” ways imaginable. I’m still kind of taken aback.”

      I’m surprised you feel that way considering the trend for this site to do that very same thing. 🙂

      • Messiahman

        Insulting quips only work when they have a basis in reality.


        • doubleh55

          So this site doesn’t over congratulate their friends for stuff they’ve done?

          I’m not upset about it or anything because I wouldn’t expect anybody to shit on their friends. I just found it humorous.

          • Uncle Creepy

            Newsflash doubleh, when it comes to movies or any product for that matter, we’re just as harsh on our friends when they make something that sucks as we are to the few folks we don’t know.

            Between the entire staff we have decades of experience working within the industry, and there really aren’t too many folks we do not know either personally or professionally. If your theory held water, you’d never see a negative review here.

            We give credit where credit is due, and we give shit where there’s a need for that too.

    • Kyle Reese

      Rabble rabble rabble….

    • Rob

      He did it for the booty.

    • MeAndMyMeatCleaver

      Agreed- Derek was the best part of the film.

      The two things that separates this from the originals – FUN and ENERGY. The first 20 minutes had it. The rest was standard post scream slasher.

      • Uncle Creepy

        I agree 110%. As soon as the title screen hit, the film went down hill fast. The first ten or fifteen minutes were great except for the first kill.

        Speaking of which … that’s how you kick off a Friday movie? With an offscreen kill? There wasn’t even a grisly payoff when his friend found the body. He just like had blood on his ear. Are you kidding me? LAME.

        • Rob

          My fiancee thought that the opening kills should’ve been all Jason-Cam up until either when he charges out and kills the guy in the bear-trap, or when it’s Whitney’s POV when he spins around and looks down at her on the ground, and that’s how he’s revealed.

    • Didn’t See It Coming

      I’m still not with you, Creepy, on the “out of character” bit seeing as this is a remake. As such, they can, however ill-advised or poorly executed, make changes to the character that can’t really be considered “out of character”. Do I like that Jason took that girl hostage? Not really, but mostly because it was done that way so they could pull a twist and kill the girl set up as the “Final Girl” and it was weak. But I agree about everything else. The first 20 minutes kicked ass, but after that it was big, steaming pile of missed opportunity.

      • Uncle Creepy

        Dude … no matter what … Jason does NOT take hostages. There could be nothing more out of character for him.

        • PelusaMG

          Yes, but DSIT draws attention to the fact that this was a remake, and as such a degree of re-imagining of characters is always going to happen? For instance, the Bond in “Casino Royale” is a much colder and callous figure than in the other films, but many people loved the fact that here was a fresh take on a very familiar character. I can see why purists would be upset that Jason did things in this film that were ‘out of character’ in terms of what went on in the other ten (or eleven) films, but on the other hand with a remake/reboot, technically these other films do not exist and so there is a degree of ‘blank canvas’ to be had – isn’t there?

          • Uncle Creepy

            Again, no matter what the circumstances …. JASON DOES NOT TAKE HOSTAGES.

            • The Buz

              But he can be fooled by Cory Feldman shaving his head.

              Yep, Jason is never involved in retardation.

            • Messiahman

              Besides, it wasn’t a hostage.

              It was a plaything.

            • Uncle Creepy

              Jason doesn’t play. He kills. That’s what he does. There’s no bargaining. There’s no I’ll save this kill for later. He’s like a great white shark … there’s just death.

            • Messiahman

              Jason does whatever the screenwriters and directors decide he’ll do. Always has, which has resulted in many, many, MANY stupid things in the past films that are far more ridiculous than this.

              This was the obvious and organic extension of his reaction to Amy Steel at the end of the second film. In a cash-in franchise that has almost NEVER made sense, this actually seemed somewhat sensible.

              In the past films, Jason was a non-character (indeed, his very existence in the second film is one of the STUPIDEST things ever). In this film, he was actually given a little something extra to do and some actual motivation. I welcomed that.

              The film was a blast from start to finish, felt EXACTLY like a Friday film in tone, the kills were back to basics and vicious, and it was shot and cut better than ANY of them. And for once, the comic relief was actually funny, something NONE of the other films accomplished well.

              I find these ridiculous complaints from stuff Friday fans to be utterly hilarious. The worst thing this film is guilty of is doing almost nothing different than its predecessors. It just happens to do them with more style.

              Nostalgia can be a harsh bitch of a mistress, it seems.

              Now STOP trying to kill the joie de vivre. 😉

            • Uncle Creepy

              Dude, you don’t kill the joie de vivre.

            • Messiahman

              It’s immortal.

            • The Unknown Murderer

              I understand where all of you are coming from, I mean, you all make your points and I get it. For me, I guess I’m just really more disappointed that Jason wasn’t, well…

              …more retarded.

              Seriously, I missed the retardation the most. The whole movie would have been better if Jason had just been completely retarded. Drooling retarded. Helmet-wearing retarded.

              FULL-ON REtARdEd.

            • Didn’t See It Coming

              See, I never saw Jason as retarded. Deformed, yes, but not retarded because he was way too cunning, well the way he was depicted. Sorry, but a retard doesn’t find out where the killer of his mother lives, goes there and kills her. Just because he was fooled by Ginny in part 2 doesn’t make him retarded. He was crazy as fuck, yes, but again, I never saw him that way.

            • The Unknown Murderer

              Watch the 3rd installment again and tell me that the dude ain’t retarded. Besides, seems some character mentioned that Jason was retarded, which would’ve been just hearsay. I think it might’ve been Jeny in part 2.

              Anyhow, it amazes me how much some people will argue over a movie that they hated so damned badly.

            • Didn’t See It Coming

              Whoa now. I see your point on the first half, but it stopped feeling like a Friday film after the opening scene. This movie is guilty of not being fun and having incredibly boring kills and some horrible writing. I don’t care whose to blame, having a woman know about Jason but the cops not is beyond stupid and Jason lives in the woods. SOMEONE would smell him long before he grabbed them.

              But I do think Creepy needs to let go of that “Jason doesn’t take hostages/playthings” belief because the fact is, it’s a remake. Jason can do whatever the writers want him to do.

            • Messiahman

              Oh man, you’re totally right – that second half is SO off the mark. I mean, a bunch of hot, dumb teenagers showing up to party in a cabin in the woods and then getting stalked and killed by Jason is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than any of the other F13 movies (I mean, that NEVER happened in Part 4, did it?)

              Man, how could they get it so wrong? 😉

              Newsflash – ALL the movies had horrible writing, including your beloved Part 4. Bad writing and F13 go hand in hand.

              As for me, I had tons of fun, and so did the audience I saw it with. I enjoyed the kills as well and thought some were terrific (machete in the head, lifting the girl up to reveal her tits, especially). It was a terrific theatrical experience.

            • The Buz

              That’s what I’m saying, it is the same exact fucking thing as all the other movies.

              Poorly written? Uh…yeah.

              I’m sorry, were you comparing Friday the 13th Final Chapter to this remake for writing? In which a dead Jason gets up out of a morgue with no explanation, kills kids with such witty dialog as “Computer says you’re a dead fuck.” And then have a young boy shave his head and confuse a mass murderer by convincing him that this shaven boy is actually the killer!

              Sorry, the Friday the 13th movies ALL have shit writing. The only one with maybe SOME redeemable writing is Jason Lives, which actually has some witty dialog, and I give it props for making the slut the hero this time.

              Like I have said before, hate this one all you want, but if you like the original series there is absolutely no room to talk because IT IS THE EXACT FUCKING SAME AS THE ORIGINAL MOVIES!

            • Terminal

              What, you were expecting international intrigue? Political scandals? A shoot out? Come on it’s a slasher movie. Have to agree with MM on this argument.

            • Messiahman

              Terminal and I agree! I’ll have to check the news to find out if Hell has frozen over. 😉

            • Messiahman

              I guarantee that if things were reversed – meaning if Jason had taken Trish back to his lair 25 years ago in Part 4 (and Barney Cohen, the writer of Part 4, has stated that he originally wanted Jason to take a sexual interest in Trish, by the way) and if the new one had featured a kid shaving his head in two minutes time and convincing Jason that he was actually the killer – fans would be screaming bloody murder about how stupid the headshaving idea was.

            • Didn’t See It Coming

              The difference here is that the shit writing could have been avoided. It’s nothing like the original movies because it lacked fun and interesting kills. As I’ve said a million times, Jason only used a machete 4 times in his first 3 movies and not once in the Final Chapter. So this machete being Jason’s weapon of choice was boring. And I’m sure they could have found fun ways for it to work but they didn’t.

            • Didn’t See It Coming

              Plot wise every Friday is the same, including this one, but again, those movies were fun. This one wasn’t. It was dull. If you enjoyed it, fine, but you can’t really argue that it was fun to people who didn’t think it was. I’m a much bigger fan of the early series than you are, or rather fanboy of them, and the only part that was fun was the first 20 minutes. If they would have forsaken the fun for actual tension and fright, then I’d give props to the movie, but instead I got, like I said, a much of missed opportunity.

              Say what you want about The Final Chapter, but when you were waiting for Jason to kill someone, you had no idea how it was going to happen and for the most part (save for Mrs. Jarvis) the movie delivered. Here all the anticipation was shot to shit by having yet another machete kill.

            • Uncle Creepy

              I can’t let that go, man. I found it offensive as a fan. For me its akin to the shark from JAWS happily taking someone water-skiing instead of chomping on them.

            • Uncle Creepy

              If Jason was a retard in this flick I could totally accept that argument. The fact is he wasn’t. He was completely aware of everything he was doing. He built traps, maintained generators, dug out a lair, and even installed a storm drain in the middle of the fucking woods.

            • Messiahman

              He’s still basically an animal – he just has a few more reasoning skills and instincts. Which is why, again, it makes perfect sense to me.

            • Terminal

              As MM said she was a play thing, not a hostage, and I also saw her as bait for some reason.

            • Uncle Creepy

              Even if you buy that … JASON DOES NOT KEEP PLAY THINGS. At least nothing that’s alive. He also doesn’t maintain campgrounds, build traps or tend to generators. Bringing that type of dimension to the character makes him less Jason.

              Jason kills. That’s what he does. That’s all that he does.

            • Terminal

              And yet people were so accepting of the neo Leatherface in all his pussified whiny disfigurement and playing second fiddle to R. Lee Ermy.

              This is the new Jason and I’m willing to accept. Damn it, the movie was good. He was crafty just like Jason was. Look at any of the films from the original franchise and you’ll see he has tricks up his sleeve that make him smarter than the average bear.

            • Mephistopheles

              Leatherface may not have been disfigured in the original film, but he was a bit of a pussy playing second fiddle to his family. I remember when the Cook was chasing him around with a broom and Leatherface spoke like he was Mickey Mouse. 😀

            • Jon Condit

              Are you just blinded by Nerd Rage?

              This is THEIR Jason in THEIR vision, and THEIR Jason takes hostages. No one is saying it’s right or good, but you can’t argue precedence in a film that is rebooting everything you know about a character.

              The Jason you are talking about, and the one you wanted to see in the movie could not be reached for comment.

            • Uncle Creepy

              See but they didn’t reboot everything that we ever knew about the character. They just took silly liberties, all of which contributed to my main point that this NEVER feels like a Friday the 13th movie.

              And what excatly did they reboot anyway? All they had was an ill edited little beheading flashback in the films opening credits, They could have just labeled this Friday 12.

            • krawlingkhaos

              I’m not really a hardcore F13 apologist, but from where I sit the problem seems to be that they didn’t go far ENOUGH in creating their own Jason for the film to work. If they were going to make a tonal/spiritual successor to the franchise then precedent concerning the mythology and characters is important. I’ll agree with the DFF that says that the movie didn’t seem to know what it wanted to show: a scarier, more dangerous Jason or an extension of the dumb teenagers slasher sub-genre. For a killer to be scary you have to feel something for the victims, but when the victims are this poorly written you CAN’T care about them, so you want to watch them die. But faster, scarier Jason isn’t as creative as laugh-out-loud kills Jason, sooo….
              For a F13 to work you have to root for either Jason (the precedent from franchise, not scary but fun) or the victims (a name-only remake that would be divorced from the franchise in intent but could stand on its own merits as a potentially scary slasher); in this case the movie couldn’t decide who you should root for and as a result you watch it and feel nothing.
              The problem isn’t that they created a new character and ignored precedent, its that they didn’t go far enough with that reboot to justify their changes. They tethered themselves(for whatever reason)to those very precedents of behavior, tone, and intention by maintaining the formula and populating the movie with stupid, poorly written, over-sexed teenagers like all the other F13’s before it, but changed Jason just enough that he is no effective within that formula. Either work within the parameters of precedent or rewrite the equation entirely: both would have been perfectly acceptable options. PD and Nispel did neither, and that is why this movie failed both on its own merits AND as a F13 film.