Reviewed by Uncle Creepy
Starring Jaime King, Jensen Ackles, Kerr Smith, Edi Gathegi, Kevin Tighe, Megan Boone, Betsy Rue
Directed by Patrick Lussier
Distributed by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Slasher movies, or should I say good slasher movies, require a certain formula to be successful. There has to be violence and memorable kills. There has to be an abundance of nudity. The killer must be a badass, and overall the experience has to be fun. If just one of those key elements is out of place (I’m looking at you, Friday the 13th remake), what we’re left with is just another dime-a-dozen flaccid experience. The team of director Patrick Lussier and writer Todd Farmer are old school fans. They get this shit and know how to avoid the kind of pretentious nonsense that can try and make a film look and feel like something that it is clearly not. With My Bloody Valentine the duo have turned in a real winner, and even more fitting? Lionsgate has turned in an equally as good home video package.
The film tells the story of Tom Hanniger (Ackles), who returns home to the mining town where he grew up after a decade-long absence in order to sell the very mine that is the community’s life’s blood. Why sell it? There are just too many things about the place that get under Tom’s skin … mainly a madman named Harry Warden who saw fit to go on a bloody rampage there that no one is soon to forget. As soon as Tom (who escaped Warden’s clutches so very long ago) gets back into town, old Harry sees fit to come out of retirement, and the slaughter begins.
That’s really all there is in terms of plot, and honestly? That’s all there has to be. Of course Farmer’s slick script is rife with twists and turns, but at no time does My Bloody Valentine veer off course. It’s a violent as hell thrill ride that exists for one reason only: to scare the shit out of people and let them have a good time. In 3D the movie is a marvel. There’s no question the extra dimension adds a lot to the film’s enjoyability, but the 2D version is solid enough to stand on its own as well. Lucky for you, both versions are included here along with four pairs of 3D glasses.
And therein lies the hot-button question … How good is the 3D in the home version? Better than you would expect. While things look pretty damned snazzy for a home 3D release, the overall technology used in the theatrical version is just far-and-away superior to what you’ll find here. That’s not to say that it’s bad, just different. For now, until someone finds a way to deliver Real D into our homes, this will just have to do.
The picture quality and sound are (as expected) far superior on the Blu-ray than they are on the DVD although it should be mentioned that the 3D experience is pretty much the same no matter which package you buy. Just so we’re clear — 3D effect-wise both of these packages offer the same amount of three-dimensional bang for your buck. Of course the picture quality is better on the Blu-ray, but the 3D effect is essentially the same.
As for bonus features both packages are pretty much the same, but let me make mention of something on the Blu-ray that really pisses me off — the menus. Yes, they’re pretty. All the motion stuff is nice. But whose bright idea was it to have black text over an already dark and moving background? Are you kidding me? Now I admit my eyesight isn’t what it used to be, but come on already! Thanks for making me have to stand three feet away from my TV so I knew what I was clicking on, jackass!
Moving on …
The supplemental material kicks off with a hilarious and engaging commentary track with director Patrick Lussier and writer Todd Farmer. The chemistry these two sickos share with each other is fun and infectious. This was a great listen and will no doubt serve to help you garner a new-found appreciation for this little splatterpiece. From there we get two featurettes (both in HD on the Blu-ray) — Deep Inside My Bloody Valentine and Sex, Blood and Screams. Clocking in at just seven minutes, Deep Inside… is your standard conglomeration of cast and crew interviews and clips. Ironically enough, despite its name, this is pretty far from anything resembling “Deep“. Sex, Blood … is just over five minutes of goodness spent with F/X madman and super genius Gary Tunnicliff. If you’ve ever seen Gary in anything, you know it’s gonna be a good time. This perfectly follows suit. From there we get several deleted scenes which were obviously cut for pacing, a not too alternate ending, and a gag reel.
In terms of Blu-ray-specific features, all to be found here is Lionsgate Live, which is Lionsgate’s version of BD Live and lets you download stuff and share things with other fans, and MoLog, which allows viewers to blog and share their own unique user generated content while the movie is playing. Neat.
My Bloody Valentine 3D is not a masterpiece, but it wasn’t trying to be. Lussier and company knew exactly the kind of movie they were making here, and the film has heart to spare. Of course said heart is dripping with blood and lying in a candy box, but isn’t that the point?
4 out of 5
3 1/2 out of 5
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