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Voices (2009)

VoicesReviewed by Uncle Creepy

Starring Yun Jin-seo, Lee Ki-Woo, Yoon Jin-seo, Seo Ki-Woo, Park Ki-Woong

Directed by Oh Ki-hwan

Distributed by After Dark Films and Lionsgate Home Entertainment


You know that feeling of déjà vu? Like you’re doing something that you know you’ve done before? Well, I can tell you this … even if you have never actually seen the token Asian horror entry in the After Dark Horrorfest III, Voices, I can guarantee you that you already have under several different titles.

Cookie cutter. Stamped out. Cliché. Yep. All those phrases apply. I’m not even gonna bother giving you a story synopsis. Instead I’ll just tell you what happens in the movie.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

VoicesA deadly curse stalks a family that forces one loved one to kill another loved one. After about an hour or so of people being dispatched in various ways, our main protagonist, with the help of her boyfriend, travels to a remote location to get to the bottom of said curse. Once there they meet an elder who lays out the whole thing for them. By the time our duo gets home they find that the curse has gotten stronger and now has pit them against each other. Of course the boyfriend dies trying to end things, and our hero is left all alone. Except for her sister, who will show up at the end to murder our poor dear, proving by the time that the credits roll that the curse is unstoppable.

See what I mean? There, I’ve just saved you money and time.

The only thing Voices has going for it is that it looks great. Some of the scenes are downright ghastly in their beauty. The problem here is that it’s all style over substance. Kind of like placing a bow on a log of shit. You can dress it up all you like, but in the end it’s still a steamy turd.

Then there’s the script. I don’t know if things got lost in translation with the dubbing or the process of English subtitling, but holy cow, the dialogue is cheesy to an embarrassing point. At several points I found myself staring at the screen in a state of bewilderment. “Did that person really just say that? Really?” Yes. They did.

After Dark typically has three or four shining entries in their yearly Horrorfest. This is not one of them. This isn’t even mediocre. These Voices need to shut up. Do not bother. You’ve been warned.

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1 out of 5

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Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.