Reviewed by Scott A. Johnson
Written by Scott Kenemore
Published by Skyhorse Publishing
Go to your local bookstore to the “Self Help” section and see what kind of dreck you come across. Books on how to be a better lover, more successful in business, how to get over what your parents did or didn’t do to you, all sitting proudly on the shelves proclaiming their ability to help you become a better, more well adjusted and normal member of society just seem to scream “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” to everyone who walks by. Sadly, too many people buy into their load of crap and try very hard to just “fit in” with all the normals in the world. So where, then, is the self-help book for us, the horror fans? Maybe I happen to like being the way I am, and only want to become moreso that way? Maybe the pressures of the modern world, and the stress created by not strangling some moron who desperately deserves it, is getting to me? Where do I turn? Wouldn’t it be great if I could just, I don’t know, embrace my inner monster? No worries, because Scott Kenemore has your back with his book, The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead.
Beginning from the introduction, Kenemore has written an engaging guide that speaks to the inner rotting corpse in everyone. He first talks about how his own trials and tribulations in the modern world led him to his own great discovery, then leads the reader on a guided tour of what it takes to succeed, and why zombies are better at it than anyone else. Part one of the guide details the twenty-four habits of the highly effective zombie. Granted, with titles like “Be Adaptable” and “Rugged Individualism,” it may seem like just the standard run of the mill analogy of how being like a mindless corpse can help you succeed in the corporate world, but read on. Some of the titles may sound the same, but the content is not what you expect. Inside are proven examples of just how zombies manage to get the brains in the end, and why this makes their life (or un-life) style the ultimate in Nirvana.
After reading all the habits and marveling at just what a wonderful and misunderstood creature the Zombie truly is, the natural thought is “Gee, that’s great, but how can I be like them? Where do I go from here?” Fear not, because Kenemore again has you covered. Section two is a complete guide to your own Zombification, and it doesn’t take years to achieve. Only ninety days can turn you from a worthless, weasel-faced piece of stress-ridden yuppie-scum to a head-held-high, centered and confident walking-and-rotting corpse of success! Kenemore guides you, in twelve chapters, through every step from preparation to reaching your final goal of Zombie bliss. Included is advice on subjects such as dealing with the police, how to get that raise, just how far is “too” far, and even relationships and sex.
Whatever your situation, Kenemore’s humorous and often strangely poignant point of view are very entertaining, and will have you wondering if the Zombie approach to life can actually work. Because, in the end, what do the walking dead really have to worry about?
5 out 5
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