How the Grinch Stole Dinner For Fiends

The avarice never ends! “I want news updates and reviews. I want a podcast. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.” Look, I don’t wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is stupid, stupid, stupid, and so’s the idea of having a Christmas edition of your precious Dinner for Fiends!

The nerve of those Dread Central staffers. Inviting me on their podcast — on such short notice! Even if I wanted to be on it, my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self-pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me – I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.

No. I will not. I hate them. I hate that podcast. Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double Hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY! This time the bad guy is going to win!

Get this site 100% Ad Free Support Us on Patreon!

Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.

Get Your Box of Dread Now
*US Residents Only .
  • DavidFullam

    All I wanted for Christmas was DFF. Instead I got a stupid song!

  • CMax

    When will his heart grow three sizes and retirm the DFF us?