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Need a Date for the Prom?

Word of another unnecessary Hollywood remake of an 80’s horror flick would normally make me wretch with tremendous displeasure, but this time I really don’t feel any extra repulsion. I’ve always said that if you’re going to do a remake, then you might as well remake something that wasn’t all that good the first time around, and let’s be honest for a sec; Prom Night really wasn’t all that good. If any question stems from remaking Prom Night, it would be, “What’s the point in remaking a movie that was already about as derivative of its genre as one could get even back in 1980?” I suspect this is the same reaction I’m going to have 20 years from now when no doubt some Hollywood producers will get it in their heads to do a remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer.

As most of you already know, Prom Night was a slasher movie dealing with a revenge-minded maniac dressed like a burglar that went about axe murdering teenagers attending their high school prom. I never understood why the movie held off the revelation of the killer’s identity until the very end when it was so obvious who it was from the get-go. A none-too-subtle pre-prom scene early in the film gives away the killer’s identity to the point that they might as well have put a blinking graphic on the screen that read: I AM THE KILLER.

Like I said, fairly derivative stuff. Now if they decided to remake Hello, Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 … That might be interesting.

Regardless, Sony Screen Gems has already slotted the Prom Night remake for a tentative February 1, 2008 release date. That’s a long ways off, so no need to dust off your tuxedos and prom dresses just yet. Grudge screenwriter Stephen Susco is still attached to pen the remake along with Ernesto Foronda, who is also attached to co-write the Americanized remake of Oldboy. Man, there really is a career to be made in the Hollywood remake game, isn’t there?

Of course, the big question remains as to who will fill Jamie Lee Curtis’ shoes this time around? I say that as a bit of novelty casting they should hire whomever Rob Zombie casts as Laurie Strode in his Halloween remake. Hey, and then they can remake Terror Train, cast the same girl in the lead again, and the cycle of remake history will come full circle.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit