Asylum Hitchin’ a Ride

Credit goes to a mystery man on the message boards known only as “Chuck” for bringing to my attention a peek at an forthcoming Asylum-produced direct-to-DVD knock-off that will no doubt be hitting DVD shelves next year to coincide with the theatrical release of that completely uncalled for remake of The Hitcher. It seems The Asylum has been planning well ahead as they’ve already got a short teaser trailer completed for – wait for it – The Hitchhiker.

Judging by this brief trailer it seems The Hitchhiker has something to do with a hitchhiker, cars driving down roads in the middle of nowhere, and a shitload of people getting shot to death. I can’t tell you any more than that because The Asylum hasn’t updated their website in ages and closed their forums following an influx of porn spammers. There wouldn’t be anything about this one at all if not for Asylum director Leigh Scott, who may or may not be the film’s director for all I know, posting this trailer on YouTube.

Now I know this is the part that where I’m expected to make some exceptionally snarky comments, but having seen the new trailer for The Hitcher remake, this Hitchhiker trailer really doesn’t look any worse – just cheaper. After the last two remakes to come down the pike from Michael Bay’s production company, I dare say there’s a legit outside chance that this knock-off could actually prove better. Check it out.

Now if anyone from The Asylum is reading this (and odds are someone is), I want to make a request and I swear on a stack of Bibles that I’m not trying to be sarcastic when I write what I’m about to. 2007 is going give us TWO theatrically released films about killer, man-eating crocodiles: Primeval and Rogue. Dammit, doesn’t The Asylum owe us a crocodile movie next year? Make it happen.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit

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