The fine folks who gave us Shark Attack, Shark Attack 2, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Shark Zone, and Raging Sharks are now giving us Shark in Venice, a motion picture that combines the absurd notion of a huge man-eating shark prowling the polluted waters of the Venice canals with the even more absurd notion that people want to watch movies starring Stephen Baldwin. The trailer has arrived, and all I can say is Bruno Mattei has to be smiling down upon it from heaven.
A shark stalking the canals of Venice, Italy … How exactly did Bruno Mattei or some other enterprising Italian schlockmeister neglect to come up with this idea first?
And on top of the killer shark terrorizing gondolas, the filmmakers have even tossed in a treasure hunt involving a lost fortune in a cave beneath the canals.
And on top of even that, just wait until you feast your eyes upon the state-of-the-art digital effects work bringing all that awesome shark-on-human action to life.
I write what I’m about to without an ounce of sarcasm or irony: Shark in Venice will be the greatest shark movie of all time! Sorry, Jaws; you had a nice run.
If you don’t believe me, then take one look at the Shark in Venice trailer below and you’ll become a believer. If this movie lives up to its trailer, it’s going to be one for the ages.
You lucky bastards in the UK will be the first to experience the glory of Shark in Venice when it arrives on DVD in your country early next month. The rest of us in the States will no doubt have to wait until the Sci-Fi Channel schedules a premiere date. I’m not a patient man so I already pre-ordered a PAL DVD.
Now watch the damn trailer and bear witness to greatness! I command thee!
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Wonder where that pesky shark’ll show up next in the Dread Central forums!