Full Moon’s Sequelmania 2009

Foywonder   |  

Aug 19, 2008

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We already know how much Charles Band loves puppet terrors. Judging by the new slate of Full Moon films Band has announced for next year, it would seem he loves sequels almost as much.

If you asked me, the only sequel I’m really jonesing for from Band would be a follow-up to his pre-Full Moon alien fight-fighting flick Arena. Given the current popularity of ultimate fighting, now would be a perfect time to revist his ultimate monster fighting in outer space flick. Sadly, Arena 2 is not in the works. The six Full Moon sequels slated for DVD store shelves in 2009 are as follows…

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil – Band has been talking of wanting to do a new Puppet Master movie for ages and now it seems like it will actually come to fruition. FYI: The Sci-Fi Channel’s Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys movie doesn’t count because he didn’t actually have anything to do with the making of it. Band has said this one will be set after part three and given that sequel was set during WW3, the subtitle of this sequel has “axis” in it, and there’s a swastika in the title graphic, I’m going to assume it’s another period film pitting the puppets against the Nazis. I really hope “Haunted Dildo” from “>Gingerdead Man 2 (review) joins the fold; I’ve love a scene showing that puppet being accidentally created when Dr. Mengele’s penis enlargement experiment on Joseph Goebbels goes horribly awry.

Demonic Toys 2 – Why? It’s been 16 years since the original and it won’t boast a script by David Goyer. At least it’s not another dreadful (Full Moon property) vs. Demonic Toys flick.

Gingerdead Man 3: Roller Boogieman! – Speaking as the guy who gave the original Gingerdead Man a 4/5 review, Band’s really pushing it now. Why not just kill two birds with one stone and make Gingerdead Man vs. Demonic Toys; you know it’s going to happen eventually.

Bride of Head of the Family – I think Band’s been talking this sequel to the cult hit Head of the Family for years now, as well. I just can’t imagine it being the same without the lovely and frequently naked Jacqueline Lovell.

Killjoy III – I’ve never seen either of the Killjoy movies and from what I’ve read I’m under the impression I’m better off that way. I’m assuming part three will just be more of the same – think Nightmare on Elm Street in the hood with an evil clown killing and cracking wise.

Evil Bong II: King Bong – Evil Bong was a mildly amusing horror comedy, though not a film that struck me as franchise material. The sequel will reportedly have characters in pursuit of an ancient bong in the jungle. Band has said he hopes to have it out on DVD by Halloween of 2008. Seeing how we’re less than 2 1/2 months out, something tells me he won’t make that deadline.

Ever the huckster, Charles Band is offering fans a chance to see their names in the credits of Gingerdead Man 3 as an executive producer while making a little scratch on the side that may or may not go into the actual financing of the film. Here’s what he posted on his MySpace page:

THE ULTIMATE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER FILM CREDIT OFFER!!!

There have been some great sales and offers this month, but this is the craziest one yet!

Who could pass up an opportunity like that? Just go to Fullmoondirect.com, purchase 12 DVD copies of Murdercycle (they’ll make great stocking stuffers this Christmas), and in a few months you’ll get to see your name listed alongside potentially hundreds of other names as an executive producer of Gingerdead Man 3: Roller Boogieman!

But what if you really had your heart set on being listed as an executive producer of Killjoy III instead? What about those people, Mr. Band?

– The Foywonder

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