A hearty list of healthy and horrendous yet heartfelt horrors arrives this Tuesday, July 8th, 2008…
Set in an alternate reality where zombies are an everyday occurrence, a man decides he wants to make his name known to the film community by making a very important documentary about the undead. He brings on renowned doccumentarian Grace Lee, and together they set out to get the bottom of the real life of the undead. Not a bad concept, actually, and according to our “>American Zombie DVD review, one that’s pulled off pretty well. Buy it here!
I’m confused by the title, but apparently this is a recurring villain throughout some martial arts films. In this one, after a five-year absence, the Bat Without Wings returns to the small village it’s made so miserable in the past, stealing a young maiden. Now her family and a resourceful swordsman have to stop the winged terror (yes, it does have wings, it seems) and get the girl home safe. Buy it here!
When some construction workers are just going about their day, doing the job they’re paid for, and unwittingly unleash an evil spirit called The Bone Eater, who gets more powerful every time he takes a victim, who do you think gets blamed for it? I mean, those guys were just doing their job, right? Someone shoulda told them it was an Indian burial ground; then maybe they would’ve thought twice before opening found artifacts. Check out our Bone Eater review if you need more on the actual film. Buy it here!
Back in 2002 a ghost hunter named Carter Simms was offered $5,000 to conduct a 3-day/3-night investigation of the infamous Masterson House. Twenty years before Joseph Masterson and his entire family were brutally murdered there, you see, so it’s full of all sorts of nasty stuff. This film is apparently what happened during the investigation. Um, I’m guessing our hero dies, considering the title? Buy it here!
My God, how do these movies keep getting made, let alone released? Fucking A, I’m tired of typing the same plot over and over again. All right, fine: A guy killed his whole family, and now three couples are spending the night in the house where it went down on Halloween. Oh, and they’ll be live online thanks to an ongoing webcast documenting all the “strange” stuff that will happen. Yawn. If you’re not asleep, check out our “>Death on Demand review to learn more. Buy it here!
Not to sound repetitive, but how the hell does this guy keep making movies, let alone seeing them released? I mean, how many pieces of shit need to be shoved in our mouths before we ask them to stop? And this one has the high moral ground of being about an old man who kidnaps a young girl and keeps her prisoner for 6 years. And I’m sure it has many interesting and original things to say, too. I mean, it couldn’t just be protracted scenes of torture for 90 minutes, right? Buy it here!
Another soon-to-be-classic in the Maneater series, folks! This time the story follows a man who’s been blinded in an explosion and becomes the first human to get a cross-species eye transplant. He receives the eyes of a wolf, allowing him to see in the dark, but a nasty side effect is he wants to eat his fellow humans. He seeks shelter from a half-breed female, trying to avoid going from hunter to hunted. Check out our “>Hybrid DVD review for more! Buy it here!
Yet another twist on the Robert Louis Stevenson classic. This time Dr. Henry Jekyll is searching for a cure for cancer when he accidentally creates a computer-generated alter ego named Hyde, a creature with the usual animal-like tendencies and blah blah blah. How a computer generated bad side of oneself can go around killing people I don’t fully understand, but to do so I’d have to watch the movie, and I just don’t care enough. Buy it here!
Universal realized “Hey, we have another Mummy movie coming out, better do something with the old ones!” and at least came up with this, a long-overdue Legacy Edition of the original. Two commentary tracks, one with film historian Paul M. Jensen and one with effects men working today, as well as numerous featurettes will make up this very sexy two-disc edition. Uni’s also re-releasing The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and its sequel, as well as a new edition of Van Helsing, today, but since there are already sixteen versions of the Mummy DVDs out there and Van Helsing sucked on an inexcusable level, you’ll only see ‘em mentioned here. Buy it here!
I’ll just put this out there right now. This could quite possibly be one of the worst films I’ve ever had the stomach-churning displeasure of sitting through. Yes, there’s a contingent of people out there who would love to watch a 4-hour “documentary” about torture during WWII done with disgustingly bad effects and very little in the way of actual story, but I don’t think I’d want to hang out with them at parties. If you feel you need more bile, check out our “>Philosophy of a Knife review; there’s plenty in there. Buy it here!
The story follows a wizard’s apprentice who apparently loves magic but hates his teacher. He realizes he has to recover the soul of Amanda Morales, a powerful sorceress who was assassinated, in order to gain the confidence he needs to beat his master. Morales comes back, but she’s out for revenge … and that’s where the translation falls apart, sorry! Let’s say they bring in some dinosaurs to do all their dirty work, too, and it becomes wizard vs. dino in an all-out slam-bang knockout fight! Buy it here!
This was one of the few genre films in recent memory that didn’t bug the shit out of me with annoying characters and stupid scenarios. I like what Smith did with the source material and thought that, while not as bloody or strange as I had been hoping for, there was enough horror and intelligence to warrant more than one viewing. Now that it’s hit DVD, you can find out for yourself, but you should still read our “>DVD review of The Ruins just so you’re not in for any surprises. It’s out on Blu-ray today as well! Buy it here!
Wow, this one sounds pretty ridiculous, though I don’t know if that’s in a good or bad way. The story follows a bunch of sexy young competitors hoping to get a lot of money by participating in a “Survivor”-style show set on Pirate’s Island. Sound Scooby Doo enough for you? Of course they start dying one by one, and I’m sure you’ll cheer when it happens. I’ve not even seen the film and I’m already annoyed with its actors. Buy it here!
Need to have some clue as to what’s going on when the ridiculously titled X-Files: I Want to Believe comes out later this summer? Look no further than X-Files: Revelations, eight hand-picked episodes from the show that will hopefully give you just enough info about what the hell is going on so you won’t be completely clueless when you see the film. Or, for you X-Philes out there, this is a great way to remember just why the show was so damn good in its heyday. Buy it here!
You’d think if they were going for grass roots-style hype for something like this, we’d have heard about it before now, but no, not a peep. Utilizing submissions from a search throughout MySpace and Fangoria.com, Under the Bed Films has collected a box set of zombie movies that are supposed to scare you shitless, including In the Event of a Zombie Attack, Ghouls Gone Wild and Scream Farm. All right, I doubt the intent was to scare, now that I look at those titles, but at least you might still have some fun with it! Buy it here!
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