House of the Dead the Funnier Version?

House of the Dead: The Director's Cut - The Funny Version (click for larger image)A funny version of House of the Dead? Because Uwe Boll’s original version of House of the Dead wasn’t funny enough?

A few years ago I got an email from Uwe Boll out of the blue inviting me along with some other internet critics to join him up in Vancouver to help re-edit, re-write, re-film, etc. House of the Dead in order to create a brand new funny version of the film. Part of me was intrigued; the other part of me was concerned this might be his way to lure myself and some other web critics who had been highly critical of him into a Saw-esque trap. Fortunately, the latter was not the case. Unfortunately, for a wide variety of reasons, I was not able to take Dr. Boll up on his offer. My sole contribution to this noble endeavor being an idea for a potential sight gag I pitched to him via email that may or may not have ended up in the final cut.

We’ll all be able to find out if my joke idea made the cut when Lionsgate finally (THREE YEARS IN THE MAKING!!!) releases House of the Dead: Director’s Cut – The Funny Version to DVD on September 9th. Is it even possible to make House of the Dead more intentionally funny than the original version was already unintentionally hilarious? I posed that question to Boll during one of our email correspondences, and well, he seemed to get a bit huffy. This new version will reportedly feature new dialogue, pop-up commentary, and animation from the original video game. Wait. I thought that last part was already in the original version?

Shock Till You Drop got a press release from Lionsgate stating the following: “Original cast includes Jurgen Prochnow and Clint Howard with a special appearance by famed breast augmentation specialist Siegfried Wienermeister. Even the most hardcore fans of the original cult classic will never discover that human flesh tastes like chicken until they watch this hysterically tasteless funny version!

We’ll see. We’ll see.

We’ll also see a good deal of Uwe Boll on September 9th. That day will also see the release of his gruesome original slasher flick Seed. Prior to both of those, Boll’s controversial comedy Postal will be unloaded onto DVD August 26th in both regular and 2-disc unrated editions.

Funny footnote … a few weeks after corresponding with Boll about flying up to Vancouver, my email box started getting flooded with spam from Boll’s email address. I sent him an email asking him if someone had jacked his email address and was using it to spam everyone he’d sent emails to or if he had just decided to spam me on purpose. I’m guessing it had gotten jacked because his reply to my email was, “Not me. FUCK!

The Foywonder

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  • whore whisperer

    Uwe Boll ain’t no Ed Wood. This isn’t ‘so bad it’s good’, it’s just a really fargin bad movie.

  • PelusaMG

    What a waste of time and effort…

  • bulletcrazy

    I thought the house of the dead splattrax was fantastic actually. I absolutly don’t get why the dff crew thinks those things suck. Have you heard any other dvd commentaries that are better? I sure haven’t, and your version was much funnier than dvd podblasts version.

  • Kryten Syxx

    Sometimes Foy, I hate you.

  • Blockbuster

    Fuckin spam. I deal with it EVERY day from my clients. I personally think that spammers should be eaten alive by zombies…or chainsawed up a little…that might be kinda fun. Heh.

  • Kryten Syxx

    What? No mention of our overly-amazing Splattrax?

    • Foywonder

      Why would I mention our Splattrax? This is a story about FUNNY version of House of the Dead.