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Nightmare Remake Stalks Writers

Freddy Vs. Jason (click to see it full size!)Platinum Dunes, in their neverending quest to remake anything they can toss some sweat and dirt on, have been eyeing up who would be the best pick to script the Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Was their choice going to go over well with genre fans? Maybe…

BD is reporting that the writers of Freddy vs. Jason, Mark Swift & Damian Shannon, are being favored by Dunes to bring one of the biggest icons of horror back to life in this franchise reboot. While not officially hired, this duo already did script the Friday the 13th retread that Bay’s company is also working on.

Good news? To those of us who could look past FvJ‘s serious flaws, it is a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Then again, will we be forced to see another Jason Mewes clone and an army of unidentifiable characters?

Syxx

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Kryten Syxx

  • Kryten Syxx

    Earth, Wind & Fire: Dance Dance Dance

    Dance dance dance…
    Let your friends dance dance
    Dance dance dance…
    Let your friends dance dance

    Let the fun begin
    I’m so glad to see you
    And I’m hoping that
    You feel the same
    Come on and dance

    Just a dance with you
    Is my only intention
    I don’t even have to
    Know your name
    Come on and dance

    Before you go
    I wanna dance with you
    Just wanna let you know
    I wanna dance with you – with you

    Dance dance dance…
    Let your friends dance dance
    Dance dance dance…
    Let your friends dance dance

    The time is right
    To light up the night
    So come on let’s
    Take it to the floor
    Come on and dance

    I promise you
    That when we’re through
    I know you’ll wanna dance
    With me some more
    Come on and dance

    Before you go
    I wanna dance, with you
    Just wanna let you know
    I wanna dance, with you – with you

    Before you leave
    I would love to dance with you
    Before you leave
    I would love to get you higher

    Dance, dance, dance

  • Messiahman

    I think a future sequel should reveal that both Freddy and Jason are only vulnerable to Earth, Wind & Fire — even the greatest monsters fall before the powerfully awesome might of 70s boogie-funk.

  • Kryten Syxx

    And the weaknesses for both villains always changed depending on the film. In the first Nightmare, Freddy was afraid of fire but later on in the series it never really bothered him. Voorhees has been popping out of water over and over with no problem, but it only became his enemy in Manhatten and FvJ.

  • The Buz

    FVJ gets my pass because it has the single greatest revelation in movie history between characters.

    “Wait, Freddy died by fire, and Jason by water. How can we use that?”

  • Messiahman

    “Were you expecting Shakespeare?”

    “How about entertainment?”

    I found it plenty entertaining. Yu certainly knows how to shoot a blow-out battle scene, and the titular smackdown more than delivered.

  • Messiahman

    This is only the first step, Kryten. Next thing you know, we’ll be vacationing together in the Caribbean.

  • Morgan Elektra

    Don’t worry, Kryten. Just lie down and take deep breaths until the feeling passes. 😉

  • Kryten Syxx

    My god! MM and I agree on something. That’s a first!

  • G.D.

    “Were you expecting Shakespeare?”

    How about entertainment?

  • Messiahman

    Well said, Kryten. I couldn’t agree more.

  • Kryten Syxx

    Let’s just put it this way…

    Can Platinum Dunes possibly make a film that’s worse than what the series has offered so far?

    The last thing I want to do is defend PD, but they’re going to have to strive pretty hard to out suck Parts 2, 4, 5, Freddy’s Dead and New Nightmare. However, they may do just that if this turns into a quick cash in that is loaded with just as many generic characters and cheats as both TCM features and The Hitcher.

    Give me a cast to care about; a Freddy that will leave an impression without the use of one-liners; no music video bullshit; no MTV style editing for kids suffering from ADD; and stay away from that god damn “last girl” crux. Seriously, Dunes … that has been the staple of the past 3 films. If we can spot the last girl by the first 5 minutes then you’ve failed.

  • Messiahman

    Guess we’ll have to agree to disagree then, as I happen to think that the acting in FvJ is much better than pretty much all the acting in the F13 series, which is notorious for featuring some of the worst acting of all time. The majority of the FvJ cast were competent professionals who have worked in quite a few films (both Monica Keena and Katherine Isabelle are actually pretty decent, as is the always reliable Brendan Fletcher) and I didn’t find anyone remotely cringeworthy.

    Whereas the kids in many of the F13 films only *ever* acted in the franchise… and man, does it show.

    There are some decent actors in a few of the ELM STREET sequels, but I honestly think that saying the folks in FvJ were somehow markedly worse is pretty absurd.

  • Morgan Elektra

    There was MAYBE one actor in all of FvJ that didn’t make me actually wince every time they opened their mouth… One of the young guys, don’t remember which one. And they may have had to do with the fact that I don’t remember him having all that many lines.

    Generally speaking, in the rest of the films in both franchises, there may have been one or two bad actors in the cast, but the rest of them were overall pretty passable. In this one, just about the entire cast was cringe-worthy. And that includes people I’ve seen in other things and know can act… they just didn’t that time. In cases like that, I’m prone to think it’s the writing and/or directing at fault, as opposed to the ability of the actors themselves.

  • Sirand

    That’s right! Exploding parakeets will restore the dignity to this series!

    I also gotta add: The acting is NOT worse in FvJ than the other films. In fact, it’s downright thespian compared to the stuff we got in Nightmare 4, 5, and 6 and all the Friday movies.

  • Kryten Syxx

    No, Andrew. What the fans want is more homosexual themes like in Freddy’s Revenge! They want leather bars, push-ups, crotch thrusting and Kim Myers! How about Freddy murdering kids at a BBQ?! Why can’t we have that again?!

  • Sirand

    BTW, if Mark Swift & Damian Shannon are reading this:

    The fans have spoken, guys. In the Nightmare remake, Freddy better put on a Power Glove and kill someone with a Nintendo game again. Y’know, to make up for making the franchise “stupider” in FvJ…

  • Sirand

    “totally disrespecting your audience is another”

    Whaaaaaaaa? I gotta back up everything Messiah said. That’s just damned crazy. The F13 series was bottom of the barrel trash that is almost single handidly responsible for the cheapening of the horror genre.

    Creepy mentioned that the characters were WORSE in FvJ than in any other installment. I gotta ask: HOW???

    Worse than Shelly in F13 3?
    Worse than the goofy cartoon rednecks in Friday 5?
    Or how about the painfully-bad slapstick antics of the paintball guys who randomly show up in F13 6?

    All anyone watched those movies for was to watch stupid people die. FvJ delivered more than the other franchises and did exactly what the title promised.

    I’ll also echo the sentiment that Monica Keena is fucking HOT!

  • Morgan Elektra

    “Do you think FvJ is worse the F13 5, 6 and 7 or NIGHTMARE 2, 4, 5 or 6?”

    Only slightly worse. Mainly because the acting was a little more painful in FvJ than the installments you mention in both franchises. Other than that, they’re all pretty stupid and bad.

    Personally, I’m not a fan of the either FRANCHISE. NOES 1 & 3 were BIG influences on me as a very young horror fan. I love them. And I really only like F13 part 1. Most of the rest of F13 I’ve seen so infrequently I couldn’t tell you which one was which. I know there’s one with little Corey Feldman, and one where Jason kills a chick on a boat with a guitar, and one where his spirit possesses people or whatever… That’s about the extent of my memory of other F13s. With NOES I could recap what each one is about, but I don’t remember much past that, bar a few more memorable scenes.

    So I have no qualms saying FvJ was bad and stupid, because I’ve said that about most of the rest of them all through my life (bar a brief period as an 11 year old when I was in love with Freddy and thought all the NOESs up to that point were great… but I blame that on puberty hormones).

  • Messiahman

    Right there with you on the Monica Keena love. She really needs to be in more movies.

  • Terminal

    I have to remember this for future reference:

    “Who says that the new NIGHTMARE flick will be anything at all like F vs. J? There’s an entirely different production team on this one. Different producers, different tone, and different goals.

    One film (particularly one that anyone knows was written by committee) does not equal another.”

  • Terminal

    “Honestly, it amazes me that fans of these franchises could possibly be arguing “standards” when they’ve been subjected to nothing but rampant stupidity from the getgo.”

    Who gives a crap about all this pretentious stuff, why didn’t we see Monica Keena’s tits?! Hell even the alternate ending teased us, damnit. Talk about busty heroines, hachacha!

  • What The Cat Dragged In

    FVJ was big, dumb fun. It’s not very fun to watch alone, but if you have some friends over, open up the liquor cabinet. It’s actually become a keeper for movie marathons around Halloween because of how much fun it is when drunk.

    I want no part of this remake, though.

    I’ll stick with parts 1, 3 and 7 (and sometimes, FVJ).

  • Messiahman

    Disrepecting your audience? Are you joking?

    Aside from the first NIGHTMARE film, these two respective franchises were cash-ins that NEVER had respect for their audiences, other than to respectfully dip into their wallets.

    Every F13 film are filled with cardboard characters, continuity flaws and laughable logical holes. Hell, the very fact that Jason even exists after the first F13 film is a complete and total “fuck you, give us your money” by the producers. That’s a THOUSAND times stupider than ANYTHING FvJ has to offer.

    Honestly, it amazes me that fans of these franchises could possibly be arguing “standards” when they’ve been subjected to nothing but rampant stupidity from the getgo.

    Do you think FvJ is worse the F13 5, 6 and 7 or NIGHTMARE 2, 4, 5 or 6?

    If you do, I’d like to respectfully say that you’re nuts.

  • The Woman In Black

    Fun and silly is one thing, but totally disrespecting your audience is another. I’m with Morgan — FvsJ was too stupid to be given any kind of pass.

  • Messiahman

    I thought it was a lot of fun, actually. Certainly better than any number of F13 or NIGHTMARE films. It was nicely shot, had a number of creative kills and an excellent smackdown between its titular characters.

    I walked in expecting to see a fun, silly movie in which Freddy and Jason duke it out on a grand scale.

    And that’s what the movie delivered.

    Anyone expecting anything else was fooling themselves.

  • Morgan Elektra

    You’re right… FvJ was exactly what I thought it was going to be…

    A very bad, stupid movie.

  • Messiahman

    Who says that the new NIGHTMARE flick will be anything at all like F vs. J? There’s an entirely different production team on this one. Different producers, different tone, and different goals.

    One film (particularly one that anyone knows was written by committee) does not equal another.

  • Kryten Syxx

    OK, but is that what would work best when trying to restart the Nightmare series?

  • Sirand

    Exactly. Freddy vs Jason delivered EXACTLY what it should have.

  • Messiahman

    I find it hilarious that anyone would find anything to complain about in a movie titled FREDDY VS. JASON.

    Were you expecting Shakespeare? 😉

  • Morgan Elektra

    “could it honestly be any worse than Fred’s last few films?”

    It can ALWAYS be worse.

  • Hunter1006

    FvJ was nothing more than a ‘Nightmare’ sequel, plus a cameo by Jason.

  • frank_dracman

    As I recall, the incredably stupid “Place your bets” line was only in the trailer, it mercifully got cut from the film. Yes, I am one of the few who really geeked out on the FvsJ movie, but only because it was the return of Jason. He’s my boy. Freddy, on the other hand, I could take or leave. But just think, could it honestly be any worse than Fred’s last few films?

  • Chainsaw

    These are the guys who had the nerve to actually write “Freddy Versus Jason…PLACE YOUR BETS!!” on paper. My prayers are with them.

    BTW, best opening sentence to a story ever, Kryten.

  • Terminal

    Dear fucking god.

  • Spaceshark

    Oh for fuck’s sake.