DVD Releases: Grizzly Teeth!

Toothy grizzlies are headed your way this Tuesday, May 6th, 2008. To best be prepared, make sure you fortify yourself with new horror DVD releases…
Click to see it bigger!Bloodsucking Babes From Burbank (2008)
Directed by Kirk Bowman

A bunch of hot archeologists (are there any other kind, I ask you?) enter a competition to win a prize for digging up the best artifact in Burbank. Turns out a mysterious jewelry box buried in the hills turns whoever touches it into a blood-crazed she-bitch. From what I read about it, the film revels in its low budget and cheap FX, so like most things from Brain Damage, this is probably a good one to get drunk to. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Car (1977)
Directed by Elliot Silverstein

Universal finally got around to giving this cult classic a once over, restoring it to a near-pristine digital vision, and for that we thank them. For those unfamiliar, James Brolin stars in The Car as the sheriff of a small town that is terrorized by the titular vehicle, which he soon learns is, indeed, driven by pure unrelenting evil. He’s got to find a way to send it back to hell before his entire town falls victims to the car’s insatiable bloodlust! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Fearmakers (2008)
Directed by Timo Rose

From the man who brought us Barricade (avoid it if you can, trust me on this) comes a new gore-soaked adventure with Debbie Rochon in the lead. Fearmakers follows two old friends teaming up with a woman to help solve her sister’s murder, only to get caught up in the antics of a vengeful ghost along the way. Can’t win for trying, I guess. Even though ghosts aren’t usually known for their ability to viciously slaughter their victims, I’m sure Rose found a way to make it happen. He’s German; he can’t help it. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Frightworld (2006)
Directed by David R. Williams

When the Frightworld Amusement Park was still open to the public, a serial killer named Verden Fell died within its haunted attractions. Now, a year later, nine people find themselves locked in a warehouse that contains all the old Frightworld rides and attractions, up to and including the pissed-off ghost of Fell. Antics ensue. Apparently most of those antics involve time-filing sex scenes with various cast members. Not a bad idea! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Grizzly Rage (2007)
Directed by David DeCoteau

From the man best known for his gay-themed “horror” movies about beautiful boys doing nasty things, usually in their underwear, comes a nature run amok movie that I bet no one saw coming. And if that was the case, hopefully they avoid Grizzly Rage, since it sounds like shite. Don’t believe me? Well, everyone trusts a Foy, so be sure to read his “>Grizzly Rage review to see what I mean! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Kill the Scream Queen (2004)
Directed by Bill Zebub

Bill Zebub is a proprietor of really, really low budget sleaze that is, in a way, legendary. His debut film is Kill the Scream Queen and follows a filmmaker who posts ads online looking for girls to be in a snuff film. Since the girls who answer said ad are dumb and looking for theig big break, they ignore the warning signs that something is very wrong until it’s too late. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Mercy (2006)
Directed by Patrick Roddy

After spending 25 years in prison for a mysterious crime, John is finally back out on the streets. His maniacal parole officer and condescending landlord do nothing to make John believe life on the outside is any better than in, but he pushes through anyway, determined to establish a routine as a way to counteract his guilt. Soon, however, he begins to lose his grip on reality, thanks in no small part to a woman who shows up and reawakens some deeply suppressed desires. Check out our “>review here and buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Teeth (2007)
Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein

Beautiful young Dawn thinks that all is going her way in life, until she starts to realize her own budding sexuality comes equipped with a pair of teeth — literally. Her vagina has toofies, and if she’s not careful, she could make a lot of men very, very unhappy. Really a coming-of-age horror story, Teeth should be on the must-see list of anyone who’s considering sex for the first time. Show it during Health class in school! Be sure to read our “>Teeth DVD review for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!To Become One (2007)
Directed by Neil Johnson

For some reason she can’t explain, all of Miranda’s friends and family are being kidnapped and murdered. Yeah, that’d confuse me a bit, too. When she herself is finally kidnapped, she learns the horrific truth of it all: Dr. Hatcher, a psychotic scientist, wants to create a sadistic masterpiece, the splicing together of both male and female parts to form one, hopefully perfect, creature. Somehow I really don’t see that working… Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Zombies Anonymous (2007)
Directed by Marc Fratto

Um, I don’t really understand what this is from the plot I found online, but then if you consider the title, I doubt there’s a lot more to it than that. Apparently the story takes place in a world where the living and the dead coexist and are always trying to find new ways to make their lives work with one another. The titular group helps zombies fit in better with the rest of us by providing them a safe haven, and I’m sure at some point wackiness will ensue… We did a review back when it was called “>Last Rites of the Dead but haven’t gotten ahold of the new cut with the new title yet. Buy it here!

Johnny Butane

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  • thedudeabides

    That hotel’s a dump and your monopoly’s pathetic.

  • Chainsaw

    I think we should listen to this Mr. Snrub!

  • Blockbuster

    I would like to buy your rock, Lisa.

  • Chainsaw

    But sir, that was the…

  • thedudeabides

    Smithers, have The Rolling Stones killed.

  • Terminal

    If I could just say a few words… I’d be a better public speaker!

  • Blockbuster

    Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN?!?!

  • Terminal

    Why do all the bloodsucking babes have to be from Burbank?

  • thedudeabides

    Secret Service Agent: Angry mob to see you sir.

    Quimby: Do they have an appointment?

    Secret Service Agent: *looks at book* Yes.

    Principal Skinner: I phoned ahead!

  • Spaceshark

    I guess I’m the only one on the planet willing to buy Grizzly Rage.

    No wait, I’ll just download porn.

  • Blockbuster

    Lenny: Say, Homer, that’s a pretty catchy chant you got there! Where’d you hear it?

    Homer: Ahhhh, I picked it up at the Mustache Parade this year.

  • Chainsaw

    Ha ha…bears.

  • thedudeabides

    We’re here, we’re clear, we don’t want anymore bears.