Spiders Attack Melrose Place Stars

Patrick MuldoonAs the old saying goes, the only three things certain in life are death, taxes, and the Sci-Fi Channel churning out creature features of questionable quality. I know the original saying only mentioned death and taxes, but the prolific nature of Sci-Fi’s dubious monster movies has now achieved a level of certainty.

Regent Entertainment recently produced Cold Snap for the Sci-Fi Channel, with directing duties going to Tibor Takács, whose Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep just premiered on the channel last month. As for Cold Snap, it goes a little something like this:

A young ski team’s plans to train for the Olympics at a remote Ski Resort are halted when a scientist working at a nearby government lab arrives with an emergency: giant spiders bred at the lab have escaped, and they’re killing and eating everything in sight. The group must use whatever means necessary to save the survivors and stop the arachnid threat.

I can almost hear the conversation going on during the development of this one.

“Let’s make a giant spider movie.”
“Nah, it’s been done to death.”
“Then let’s make out giant spider movie stand out.”
“What if we set it someplace a giant spider movie has never been set before?”
“Like where? Outer space?”
“That’s already been done.”
“So where then?
“Ummm… How about a ski resort?”
“Ski resort? Hmmm… Giant spiders in the snow? Genius!”

Would you believe that Cold Snap was originally filmed under the title Ice Spiders? Cold Snap or Ice Spiders: you tell me which sounds like a worse title? I vote Cold Snap. At least with Ice Spiders you know exactly what you’re getting. Cold Snap sounds like a hold Stone Cold Steve Austin would use on an opponent.

Cold Snap stars Patrick Muldoon (pictured), Vanessa Williams (not the more famous Vanessa L. Williams), and Thomas Calabro, all of whom share the distinction of having been one-time cast members on “Melrose Place”. Williams and Calabro were both original cast members; Muldoon had a recurring role at one point before moving on to get his brains sucked out in Starship Troopers. He’s clearly got a score to settle with big mutant bugs.

There’s currently no scheduled air date for Cold Snap just yet but logic dictates that it’ll probably debut on the Sci-Fi Channel sometime this winter. Then again, logic and Sci-Fi Channel original movies don’t usually go hand-in-hand so don’t be surprised if they don’t air it until sometime next summer.

The Foywonder

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