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A Rip Off 100,000,000 Years in the Making

100K BC!I assume by now most of you are aware of Roland Emmerich’s upcoming prehistoric adventure flick 10,000 BC, right? Now that flick may have cavemen and sabertooth tigers and wooly mammoths, but what it won’t have is dinosaurs. The Asylum understands this glaring omission and so they commissioned their own mockbuster entitled 100,000,000 BC.

What a title; it’s like The Asylum is playing poker with Roland Emmerich and calling; “I see your 10,000 BC and raise you 999,990,000 BC’s.” Or given how BC time works, technically they would have lowered them, not raised. Anyway, you get the joke.

Instead of setting their movie in prehistoric times as Emmerich’s blockbuster is, this Asylum cash-in brings the prehistoric times to us. As a matter of fact, the movie was originally going to be called Prehistoric before they opted to go with a more shameless title. A scientist from the failed Philadelphia Experiment leads a team of Navy SEALs back to the Cretaceous Period to rescue the first team that got trapped after being sent back during the 1940s experiment. Things go horribly awry again leading to the scientist accidentally bringing a carnivorous T-Rex back with him through the portal. The king of the dinosaurs doesn’t hesitate to begin running amok throughout present-day downtown Los Angeles.

Had A Sound of Thunder(review) not proven to be one of the biggest cinematic bombs of all time even before it finally got released and died a quick and painful box office death, this almost sounds like what I imagine the plot would have been to The Asylum’s mockbuster version of it, which I suspect they probably would have titled The Sound of Thunder or A Tone of Rumble.

And before anyone points out that the Tyrannosaurus Rex didn’t exist back in 100,000,000 BC let me take this opportunity to remind you that this is an Asylum production we’re talking about – logic need not apply. I just hope the T-Rex doesn’t go the route of Supercroc (reivew) and merely lumbering around the streets of LA doing very little actual rampaging.

Starring opposite prehistoric dinosaurs will be three actors who are no stranger to being attacked by primordial creatures: Michael Gross of Tremors fame, Deep Star Six survivor Greg Evigan, and Christopher Atkins, last seen battling big beetles from beyond time in the Sci-Fi Channel original Caved In: Prehistoric Terror (review).

Directing the time traveling dino action is Griff Furst, who actually showed some promise with I Am Omega (review), thus probably explaining why he has since split from The Asylum.

Sometimes I think maybe I should split from The Asylum. Having just suffered through the cataclysmic debacle that was Alien vs. Hunter (review), completely ready to give up on The Asylum, and yet I keep coming back for more. At this point I think it qualifies as a form of Battered Wife Syndrome.

100,000,000 BC will make DVD history on March 11, 2008 AD.

The Foywonder

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Foywonder

9 Comments

  1. Well, I consider it a genuine concern in regards to the articles. If you started getting perks or pay for bashing their films you’re really just a shill except one who is unconventional and not kissing their ass.

  2. Seeing as how The Asylum won’t even put me on their list for screeners or press releases, something tells me my becoming the beast is not something anyone should be concerned about.

  3. Foy’s said it before and I will back him up; he should be getting some kind of perks from them for exposing their movies that, in a normal world, no one would ever think to talk about at such lengths.

  4. The Asylum must be doing things right. They have all this free publicity from people discussing thier “hated” movies and they keep churning them out faster and faster.

    If they’re doing anything, it’s laughing as they cash their checks.

  5. If it was a higher budget, I’d actually be into watching this. I can’t get enough of Dinosaur movies. And if I can watch JP3 repeatedly, I can handle anything.

  6. I bet we have about a hundred people in Asylum muttering “Dear god what am I doing with my life?” before entering the rented mall offices of Asylum.

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