What is the Situation? It’s the Trailer for Syfy’s Jersey Shore Shark Attack
April 18th, 2012
Okay, all you guidos and guidettes, you better be stocking up on bottles of spray tan, Valtrex, and shark repellent because there’s an albino shark in the mood for Italian cuisine. Forget smooshing; there’s a whole lot of chewing going on in this trailer for Jersey Shore Shark Attack.
Synopsis:
Many years ago, hundreds of locals and tourists were massacred by giant man-eating sharks in the infamous 1916 Jersey Shore attacks. But that's just a legend... or is it? It's a holiday weekend on the Jersey Shore, and unbeknownst to anyone, underwater drills have attracted dozens of albino bull sharks to the pier. When a man goes missing, TC (The Complication), Nookie and friends fear the worst and plead with the police chief to close down the beach. It isn't until a famous singer is eaten alive during a performance on the pier that the shark hunt begins. Now, the Preppies must work together with the Guidos in order to save the Jersey Shore and its inhabitants from another vicious slaughter. Starring Paul Sorvino, William Atherton, Jack Scalia, Joey Fatone, Jeremy Luc, Melissa Molinaro, Joey Russo, Daniel Booko, and Vinny Guadigno.
Starz Media has sprung the trailer for Jersey Shore Shark Attack, and it looks to deliver all the shark-on-Italian-Americans action you could want from a movie with such a title. In fact, I get the impression this is another one of those cases like with Super Shark where all the best moments are completely given away in the trailer. I mean, the big money shot of the movie is Joey Fatone, playing himself, getting eaten by the shark, and the trailer shows you the whole thing. Then again, can you really spoil a movie called Jersey Shore Shark Attack?
It hasn’t been officially announced yet, but word is Jersey Shore Shark Attack will be premiering on Syfy sometime in June.
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I hate the world.
Submitted by Shambling_in_Ba... on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 4:47am.
Well, at least the tagline is accurate for once. My worst fears have surfaced in that they actually made this movie. Now I have to go watch JAWS again to get rid of the aftertaste from this trailer.
I keep hoping that the angry specter of Robert Shaw will show up in one of these miserable pieces of Grade Z crap and beat the hell out of the entire cast and crew before returning to the afterlife.
Submitted by Cinemascribe on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 4:18am.
Remember when monster movies at least TRIED to create sympathetic characters? Now we're supposed to watch douchebags be eaten for ninety minutes and muster up sympathy. I don't want to see a bunch of Jersey Shore idiots bite it for two hours.
Submitted by Terminal on Thu, 04/19/2012 - 2:13pm.
Then you'll probably really hate this one because I hear through the grapevine that most of the Jersey Shore wannabes survive, that they are the heroes you're supposed to sympathize with.
Submitted by Foywonder on Thu, 04/19/2012 - 4:34pm.
That sounds horrible. I miss movies with heroes like Sheriff Brody, and Ellen Ripley, and now we have dumb asses fighting monsters that we have to root for. Hell even in "Piranha 3D" most of the main characters were all morons and lowlives. Shame.
Submitted by Terminal on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 1:34am.
does it just seem that every "underwater" monster movie coming out recently is in someway copying the Tone of Piranha 3D? im I the only one who is noticing this?
Submitted by James Coker on Wed, 04/18/2012 - 10:10pm.