Holiday Horrors: We Dare You to Eat the… Cthurkey!

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The Gothamist

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Holiday Horrors: We Dare You to Eat the... Cthurkey!Over the years we’ve seen a lot of different kinds of foods that made us scratch our heads and think to ourselves: “Yeah, we’re not gonna eat that.” Popeye’s Rip’n Chick’n facehugger-looking chicken sandwich, KFC’s Double Down two-breast chicken sandwich with no bun and bacon and sauce holding it together, etc. But this…

This is something so vile looking it kind of leaves us speechless. Stare into the culinary abyss that is THE CTHURKEY!

The frightening hybrid of crab, turkey, and octopus was put together by database administrator Rusty Eulberg and to add an air of menace to the proceedings is served on an old Nazi plate complete with Swastika.

Rusty Eulberg, a database administrator from Lubbock, Texas, tells The Gothamist that he brought forth what he called the Cthurkey about two years ago. Reached by phone at work, Eulberg says, “Apparently my Cthurkey—I always called it a Cthurkey as opposed to a Cthuken (no duck)—blew up online. A buddy of mine just told me he found it on Tumblr.

According to Eulberg, he and wife, Jennifer Robledo, “wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken.

Eulberg says, “The universal reaction was, ‘Oh my God, I couldn’t eat that.’ But each individual piece was cooked separately; all I did was set them together on the plate. It was delicious. The crab leg was awesome and the bacon added a nice flavor to the turkey. And for added horror, the serving platter is an old Nazi plate with a Swastika on the bottom that a friend bought in an old abandoned Luftwaffe base in Germany.


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Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.