Uwe Boll Wants to Go Postal With Your Cash!

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Postal 2 on Kickstarter

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Uwe Boll Wants to Go Postal With Your Cash!We normally have a policy here at Dread Central not to report on Kickstarter projects just because we’re constantly being inundated with filmmakers wanting us to promote their campaigns. But this is different. This is what happens when Uwe Boll discovers the power of Kickstarter.

The greatest victim of the German government’s change to how their tax laws work was undoubtedly Uwe Boll. The days of investors using his films as bankable tax shelters came to an end a few years back, and since then we’ve all noticed a change in the quality of Boll’s films. More in the quality of the production values than the actual films themselves, but a very noticeable change nonetheless. I mean, have you seen the trailer for In the Name of the King 3?

Now, after several years mostly directing DTV BloodRayne sequels and thrillers railing against the evil empire that is the United States of America, Boll is turning to Kickstarter to help him finance a sequel to one of his more successful films, the controversial video game adaptation Postal.

So what can we expect from Postal 2 should you be so generous to help him follow in the footsteps of Zack Braff and Spike Lee by crowdfunding his film? Here’s the irreverent description that appears on the Kickstarter page.

About the Movie
POSTAL 2 will finally destroy the filmindustry and the world we are living in. We could name the movie also HONEY BOOBOO must die ….but so many people deserve to die. Why starting with a child? Did Osama die? We know. And why the Navy Seals were too stupid to land a helicopter on a free field? Why did Building 6 collapse? We explain. Why is Obama is like Bush? We show you.

Where the money goes
The money goes all for cocaine for the stars down the nose.

Risks and chances
The Risk is: Everybody will hate you but the NRA will love you in being part of POSTAL 2. Our bodycount will be higher as Hiroshima and Dancing with the Stars combined.

And dont forget: September 11 didnt count because Mohammad Atta took the same steroids as Lance Armstrong. But he never lied about it.

The chance is: Support the movie and show this way that you think what we think: Karl Marx and George Orwell were right. We dont live in a democracy and we are getting screwed over by politics every second of our days. Till the Dude with the Hammer and the Magnum comes.

For the record, I just cut & pasted all that. The typos are as they actually appear in the plea to get you to put up your money.

A more serious description goes as follows:

POSTAL 2 will be a controversial comedy in which we take up current political issues. We take the biggest scandals of our democracy, like the happenings about Julien Assange and Edward Snowdon, and show that there is no difference between our democracy and the prison camps in Russia or China. We show that through this massive monitoring our communication data is not safe anymore! We want to make a movie which is totally uncensored, pointed against everything and everybody, against every political party and every religion. There will be no survivors.

Help us to to make this campaign possible. This movie is important and nobody besides Uwe Boll got the balls to make it.

But do you have the balls to invest in Postal 2? Here are a few of the exclusive stuff you can get in return for your contribution.

  • $5 – You get a subscription that will keep you posted on the status of Postal 2 from pre-production until its release.
  • $10 – You get a downloadable PDF of the shooting script.
  • $5,000 – You get to name a character in the movie (assuming it doesn’t violate any laws).
  • $7,500 – You get a speaking role in the movie (assuming you’re also willing to spring for the trip to Vancouver).
  • $10,000 – You get an executive producer credit and full access to the film set (again, assuming you’re also willing to spring for the trip to Vancouver).

    Boll’s goal is $500,000 by October 27th.

    As of my writing of this article, the project had amassed just shy of $8,000, which I am to assume was donated entirely by our own Nomad, who gave the original Postal a perfect 5/5 rating.

    Uwe Boll Wants to Go Postal With Your Cash!

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  • Foywonder

    Get Your Box of Dread Now
    *US Residents Only .
    • theGoldenSimatar

      He’ll be getting a few bucks from me too. ‘Postal’ was unexpected comic genius and Boll showed he’s good at focused over the top comedy. ‘Blubberella’ was eh at best, too broad and unfocused.

      I’d go for a Postal 2.

    • frank_dracman

      I was hoping you guys would cover this. Of course I’m not giving him a dime, but those videos were highly entertaining. Boll is an arrogant, pompous, bullying asshole. God I love that man.

    • will graham

      Aw hell he’s got $5 bucks from me.

      The funny thing is out of all the “celebs” who have joined Kickstarter he is the most indie.

      Also this isn’t the first time he’s tried crowd funding, anyone remember that Blackout film he was trying to get made bout 5 years ago?

      I actually like his comedy, the bingo hall scene in Rampage was the only good bit of that film.

      Uwe, if you’re reading this, I’ll give an you $10 if you include a scene where you, Spike Lee and Kevin Smith fight over who’s the most insecure attention seeker.