B-Sides: Your Invitation to Come to a Leatherface
Legendary horror icon Alice Cooper sang about Jason. The Fat Boys rapped about Freddy. Nobody sings about Michael Myers, although he did have a famous rocker direct him in two movies. But who croons for Leatherface?
The answer to that question is the San Francisco metal band Lääz Rockit. They recorded a song about Leatherface titled “Leatherface” as the theme to the much maligned 1989 threequel Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. In fact, there was a whole soundtrack album, of which 90% of the songs are never heard anywhere in the film. I’m fairly certain a hard rock version of “Monster Mash” never played at any point during that movie. Lääz Rockit’s power thrashing homage to everyone’s favorite chainsaw-wielding skin-masked man is mostly forgotten about today, possibly because it was only ever available on the now mostly forgotten about soundtrack album.
I swear for the longest time I thought the main lyric from this song was “Here’s your invitation to come to a Leatherface”. It wasn’t until I looked up the lyrics online years later that I realized they were actually singing “Here’s your invitation to come join Leatherface”. Discovering the truth of my audible error was kind of disappointing because for so long I had wondered what exactly “come to a Leatherface” meant. What does the name Leatherface mean in that context? Some sort of sadistic soiree, a banquet you invite your friends to that ends in cannibalism and chainsaw carnage? I had imagined throwing my own “Leatherface” one day and can still envision what the conversation might be like when I invite Uncle Creepy.
“Hey, Creepy. Here’s your invitation to come to my Leatherface.”
“My Leatherface? I’m holding a Leatherface and you’re invited.”
“I don’t understand. What is a Leatherface?”
“You know, a Leatherface.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“A Leatherface - a special gathering I’m putting on and you’re invited.”
“What is it? A Texas Chainsaw Massacre theme party?”
“Something like that, I suppose. You coming to my Leatherface or not?”
“I guess. When is it?”
And then after we work out all the details, he shows up, I conk him on the head with a hammer, hang him on a meathook, and force feed bits and pieces of him to The Woman in Black before chasing her around the yard with a chainsaw. A great time would be had by all. Well, by me, at least.
Anyway, crank up your speakers ‘cause here’s Lääz Rockit with the song “Leatherface” from the motion picture Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.
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