Dread Central's Best and Worst of 2010
2010 was a really strange year for horror. It started off slowly with movies ranging from passable to utter shit, then there was the horror drought in which we were lucky to see anything at all, but holy shit did it end on a strong note. So without further ado … in no particular order here are my picks for best, worst, and flicks that came close to being both!
Paranormal Activity 2
Just how in the world this movie worked is still beyond me. It defies all rational ways of thinking. Paranormal Activity 2 should have been a soulless cash-in meant only to ride the popularity of the first. Instead it provided some of the most rock solid chills and scares that I've ever had in a theatre. Literally this flick did the impossible.
Though Adam Green is primarily known for the Hatchet film series and getting into as much trouble as humanly possibly, Frozen is easily his best work to date. Doing a flick about three people stuck on a ski lift isn't exactly the most exciting sounding premise for a film, but it's Green's smart and thoughtful script and intense execution that put this one on the top of the pile for 2010.
The Loved Ones
Though it's not available here in the States as of yet, there's no way that I could have written this list without including The Loved Ones in my Top 5. Believe everything that you've heard, folks. This flick lives up to its expectations and shatters them into a million bloody pieces.
The Human Centipede (first Sequence)
Seriously, what list is complete without a little ass-to-mouth action? Or, in this case, a lot of ass-to-mouth action. While not as disturbing as everyone made it out to be, I found The Human Centipede to be more funny than I did horrifying, but there's no denying -- this is one hell of a gross good time!
The end credits finished. I stood up. Walked three steps and then sat back down in my seat to watch the glory that is Piranha 3D over again. Easily the most fun I've had in a theatre in years, this trash is totally my treasure and is a flick I can see watching multiple times for many years to come. This is the feel good and dirty flick of the decade!
The Last Exorcism
Let Me In
Why couldn't we just have a monster movie? Would that have been so wrong? Why did we have to get saddled with so much bullshit baggage about past lives, alternate realities, and whatever else you decided to ram down our throats? Altitude showed SO much promise and easily stands on its own two feet as my biggest disappointment of the year.
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Oh, how I loathe you. Can we please just reboot this franchise and make it more like the video game series we all love instead of a pointlessly flashy and completely braindead shit meal? Is it really that hard? Can no one else see how wrong things have gone here?
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Ah, Platinum Dunes. Thanks so much for taking one of the horror genre's crowning jewels and turning it into one of the single most soulless and senseless movies ever to be errantly ejaculated out by a studio in years. You guys are awesome. Here's to many more years of grit, lens flares, and orange gels!
Never before has a movie about hot chicks with lesbian tendencies been so dull. I can't even imagine a teenager popping a chubby to this ever-so-flaccid cock-tease of a movie. For the life of me I still don't even understand who this rancid bowl of drivel and fuck was marketed to. How I wish I could unsee it.
Know why you're on this list, Wolfman? Yes, you were rated R. Yes, you were exceedingly gory! In all honesty, you really weren't even that bad. However, the simple fact that you have Rick Baker doing your effects and still went for an all CGI transformation is simply inexcusable and more than enough of a reason to ask you to respectfully blow me. Thanks, I'll wait.
Clash of the Titans
Don't Look Up
My Soul to Take