Ladies and Gentlemen… Sexsquatch!

Steve Barton   |  

Dec 2, 2012

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a motion picture entitled Sexsquatch has come into existence. Shockingly, no, it is not a porn parody. It is, however, a softcore horror comedy. More importantly, it is a softcore horror comedy entitled Sexsquatch.

This story comes to us via a tip from the diligent Avery G., although I’m not entirely sure we should thank him this time. But since we now live in a world in which a movie called Sexsquatch exists, I felt it my duty to pass this information, a few stills, and the trailer along to you.

Here’s a synopsis of the plot of the motion picture the world will forever know as Sexsquatch:

Writer/director Chris Seaver’s Sexsquatch is a romantic tale of summer’s great hope. A group of friends head off for a beach house weekend. Partying, of course, is their number one priority. But there’s so much more to it. Joey Jeremiah is the one member of this group with the highest of high ambitions. He wants to be the president of show business. Trouble with that is, he’s spent so much time focusing on scripts and dreams that he’s completely neglected having ever gotten laid!!!! As any great group of friends would, his have gathered for a weekend dedicated to getting Joey some much needed action. In the midst of all the shenanigans, a storm is brewing. A storm the likes of which these unsuspecting young folks have never seen. The scenic wooded area that plays host to their good times also houses a sinister beast. He’s bloodthirsty, intelligent, eloquent, covered in hair, and horny as shit. NO, I’m not talking about Ron Jeremy. I’m talking about that vicious Beast from the East, Stinkfist: The Sexsquatch!

One by one the gang members, whose only goal was looking for kicks, become victims of the Sexsquatch’s particularly brutal style of wreckage. Bodies begin dropping at an incredible and bloody rate while the time begins running out on Joey’s sex trip. Will they stop this vile beast from killing again? Will they survive, and what will be left of them? Will their be any donuts?? All questions posed in Sexsquatch…

That synopsis comes to us from The Bloodsprayer website, which also broke the story and can provide you with far more details on the behind-the-scenes of this monumental achievement in Sasquatchplotation produced by SRS Cinema and to be released in the future by Warlock Home Video, a company that prides itself on bringing back the days of shot-on-VHS horror movies.

Honestly, nothing more needs to be said other than to watch the surprisingly unsexy teaser trailer for Sexsquatch; a trailer far more work safe than you would ever expect for a movie with the title Sexsquatch.

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