Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History


5: Pierce Brosnan as Jean Charles Pommier in Nomads
I’ll admit I’ve only seen this movie once, but that’s just a testament to how utterly badass Pierce Brosnan’s beard is in this movie. This beard was so impressive it ended up on the Box in full form. It’s literally the first thing my eyes go to when I see the poster. It left an impression on me, and if you’ve seen the movie, you know what I speak of. You have to love scientist smart beards. The kind where you look at them and you just assume that person is a genius. This is one of those beards, and Brosnan is indeed a genius for growing it for the role. Now if only there had been a bearded Bond...

Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History
"Nomads" -- Featuring Pierce Brosnan’s beard.

4: Tom Skerritt as Dallas in Alien
When you see the cast of Ridley Scott’s Alien, it doesn’t take long to guess which one is the captain. It’s Tom Skerritt as Captain Dallas. Why is he captain? His motherfucking beard. Dallas had one of those rugged cheek and neck beards that could theoretically grow up to his forehead and down to his tits if he willed it. Fortunately he trimmed it up and earned himself a Number Four spot on the beard list of greatness. While his chances for survival may have been low, his beard will live on forever as one of the greatest bits of facial hair the galaxy has ever seen.

Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History
In space, a few people will probably hear you shave.

3: A.J. Bowen as Lewis/Victor in The Signal and The House of the Devil
More than any other actor on this list, when you hear the name A.J. Bowen, you can’t think of him without the beard. I credit Bowen and his roles in The Signal and The House of the Devil for bringing the beard back in style. The featured beard in The Signal was so manly and badass that I saw Lewis, rather than Ben, as the hero of the film. Bowen’s beard in The House of the Devil was a different beast altogether. When I first saw the film (and the beard), I had a mini Jaws moment where my girlfriend turned to me and said, “That looks like a three-monther” to which I responded with, “Three and a half, two pounds on him.” I may be one of five people that finds that hilarious, but regardless, it’s a beard that should be praised.

Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History
His beard could have been the babysitter.

2: Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper in Jaws
Speaking of Jaws, it should come as no surprise that Matt Hooper is on this list. If my memory is correct, his was the very first beard I ever saw captured on screen, and to this day it is a thing of much envy for me. Richard Dreyfuss not only was able to memorialize himself as one of the greatest characters in cinema history, but his beard acted as its own character. It should have been in the credits, before Richard Dreyfuss. Without that beard, I don’t think I’d buy Mr. Hooper as a marine biologist. Which I’m sure is why his character grew the beard in the first place: to get more respect from his elders. Or maybe it was just to keep his face warm in time of scuba diving/finding stray heads in boat hulls.

Top Ten Greatest Beards in Horror History
"I ain’t talking about trimmin’ goatees or sideburns here, Mr. Hooper. I’m talking about workin’ for a living, I’m talkin’ about shavin’."

"Yeah, well, I ain’t talking about no patchy mess or chin hair either. I’m talking about a great beard."



jkincer's picture

Great list! Anyone who can't give props to the contributions of a great beard to horror should switch to watching euro-drams and leave genre alone. Kurt Russell's beard is one the seven world wonders of cinema.

Nice work Buz, although can we sneak an honorable mention in to Alan Moore. Genre comics need love too!

Submitted by jkincer on Fri, 12/16/2011 - 3:30pm.
Permafrost's picture

I want to see a Merkin list.

A person can dream, can't they?

Submitted by Permafrost on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 8:22pm.

Salma Hayek should have made the list: http://movieblog.ugo.com/cm/ugo/images/salma-hayek-cirque-du-freak.jpg

Submitted by PelusaMG on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 5:00pm.
The Buz's picture

That's fake though! Can't have none of that.

Submitted by The Buz on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 5:37pm.

And so - with a straight face - you're telling me that Josh Hartnett actually grew that beard!?

Submitted by PelusaMG on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 1:43am.
The Buz's picture

I will never understand why the shit I do for this site causes such an uproar sometimes.

And I'm surprised at the amount of response! Thanks for all the comments guys! I was under the impression the five people who usually read The Buz would read my insane sick induced ramblings and that'd be that, but apparently not.

Guess beards really are making a comeback.

Who wants to see a top five or top ten mustaches in film? More than likely 80% of the list would go to Tom Atkins.

Submitted by The Buz on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:43pm.
frank_dracman's picture

We need more humor on this site. Great stuff.

Submitted by frank_dracman on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 2:52pm.
Floydian Trip's picture

I'm gonna go on record as saying this is the best damn thing DC has produced yet. I want more like it.

Submitted by Floydian Trip on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 2:34pm.
DavidFullam's picture

Proof that the Thing did not assimilate Mac. Not even the Thing could replicate that beard!

Submitted by DavidFullam on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 2:13pm.
Bastard Sun's picture

brilliant list, and good call on Kurt Russell's rockin beard in "The Thing".it is truly an inspiration to me.

Submitted by Bastard Sun on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:11pm.
DeaditeSlayer87's picture

I dunno, that pseudo-perm look on James Brolin is kind of detracting from the awesomeness of the beard. I am glad to see that Kurt Russell takes the number one spot and also I would like to agree with LifeMi that as soon as I saw the title I knew I was in for some Getz beard.

Submitted by DeaditeSlayer87 on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:10pm.
Floydian Trip's picture

That's funny Pelusa. I might have thrown Stanley Kubrick or Peter Jackson in there just for the hell of it.

Submitted by Floydian Trip on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:45am.

You missed the wife of Senator Larry Craig; surely one of THE candidates for best 'beard' in recent years?

Submitted by PelusaMG on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:33am.
DavidFullam's picture

Brilliant! I've heard the same about Stephanie McMahon.

Submitted by DavidFullam on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:59pm.
Chainsaw's picture


Submitted by Chainsaw on Wed, 12/23/2009 - 3:33am.
Floydian Trip's picture

I'm growing a beard for the first time right now. Don't know how it's gonna come out but I aspire for it to be as great as one of these. I'd like to go for the Dallas beard. It's all in the hands of mother nature now.

Submitted by Floydian Trip on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:04am.
Shambling_in_Bandages's picture

None of these are truly beards, they are merely "long stubble".

Submitted by Shambling_in_Ba... on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:18am.
tedge1979's picture

I love this list so much, I'm going to start growing a beard right... now. Thanks for keeping things light and fun around Dread Central, guys. That's why I like it here.

Submitted by tedge1979 on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:08am.
Heather Buckley's picture

George Miller directing MAD MAX - BEARD
George Miller directing HAPPY FEET - NO BEARD

You need a BEARD to do GENRE WORK.

Submitted by Heather Buckley on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:02am.
Nomad's picture

You should post your genre beard graphic.

Submitted by Nomad on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 6:10pm.
Floydian Trip's picture

I think it's awesome and I can't argue with the list at all. The top 4 is fantastic. Must have been tough to bring Hooper in at #2. Now everything has become clear. Except for the babies.

Submitted by Floydian Trip on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 9:59am.
Heather Buckley's picture

Many years ago I looked at what the academics have called the GENRE BEARD from the angle of the creators. Seemed genre cinema could not get done in the 70s/80s without a beard attached. The more beards the better film (eg. Empire Strikes Back). I am glad that Buz has carried on what I call God's work.

My studies below for those unfamiliar:

Proto Beard:

The Great 70s/80s Genre Beard:

Future Beards:

Submitted by Heather Buckley on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 9:49am.
moderator Excellent! Although the
Debi Moore's picture

Excellent! Although the absence of Kris Kristofferson from his A Star is Born/Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore era makes me sad.

Submitted by Debi Moore on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 6:54pm.
DavidFullam's picture

Dan O'Bannon! Hell yeah!

Submitted by DavidFullam on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 6:40pm.
theGoldenSimatar's picture

Hmmm...so epic beards = great success in the industry :)

Submitted by theGoldenSimatar on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:26am.
Heather Buckley's picture

Indeed! We are keeping tabs on the great beard of BOTTIN --- and am awaiting his return to monster making. BOTTIN is more beard then man, that is where the magic happens. ;)

Submitted by Heather Buckley on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:31am.
theGoldenSimatar's picture

LOL, this is the most bizzare and slightly random top 10 lists, but thats what makes is so EPIC

Submitted by theGoldenSimatar on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 8:28am.
Chainsaw's picture

Buz, you are one of my good friends, but the lack of Hugo Stiglitz on this list disappoints me terribly. It vexes me. I am terribly vexed!

You broke my heart, Fredo.

Submitted by Chainsaw on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:32am.
LifeMi's picture

The minute I saw the headline, I knew right away John Getz would be on the list. Great list; hope to see more off-the-wall lists like this in the future.

Submitted by LifeMi on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:27am.

I'm down with the beard list.

Next I want to see a continuation of the basic idea, but this time centered around cinemas greatest cases of female arm hair.

Maybe Raygun can try to top himself (figuratively now people, nooooot literally!) and come up with an even cooler word than vapid to cut it down with! :)

Submitted by The Butcher on Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:21am.

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