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Bolling for Zombies

Bolling for Zombies!It seems Uwe Boll is all of sudden beginning to stock up on the rights to video games to adapt into films in much the same manner that a chipmunk hordes nuts for the winter.

When I conducted my audio interview with him little over a week or so ago I asked him about a forthcoming fantasy game called Legend: Hand of God that it had just been announced days earlier that he’d picked up the film rights to. Just a few days after my interview it was announced that he’d also picked up the movie rights to another unreleased game, a World War 2 shooter called Sabotage 1943. Today comes word that he’s snatched up the film rights to yet another game that’s not out yet and this time he’s coming full circle by revisiting the subject matter of the motion picture that first made Boll a household name. Well, household name on the internet at least.

Dark Horizons is reporting that Dr. Boll has struck a deal with 1988 Games to purchase the film rights to their upcoming first-person zombie shooter Zombie Massacre. The game has players driving a vintage 1950s convertible with a fully-armed nuclear warhead in the trunk into the heart of a city overrun by the undead. Basically, it’s a case of get the car bomb into place and the escape the zombie-filled city before the nuke detonates. I assume the plot of the movie will be the same, but then knowing Boll it might end up being set in the Wild West or on an island instead.

Ah, Uwe Boll making a movie based on a first-person-shooter video game about blasting zombies… Hey, it turned out so well the first time. But then unlike this time, there’ll be a car and a nuclear weapon involved.

According to Boll, “I’d like Zombie Massacre to be a harsh zombie movie like 28 Days Later” I’m already having flashbacks to back before House of the Dead opened and Boll was out bragging about how much better it was going to be than the Resident Evil movie. In fact, Boll can’t seem to hype up any of his films without making the mistake of comparing the film he intends to make with another well known movie. He really, really, really, really, really, really needs to stop doing that. Inviting comparison often only invites trouble.

Zombie Massacre is coming whenever to a Nintendo Wii near you; the $6 million movie adaptation will shoot in Vancouver in 2009.

Truly, now more than ever, Boll Stays.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit