Worst News of the Week: Universal Orlando Closing Jaws Ride

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Universal Studios Orlando on Facebook

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Words alone cannot express how deeply saddened and infuriated we are right now. News has come forth out of Florida that Universal Orlando is closing its classic Jaws: The Ride to make way for a new attraction.

According to their official Facebook page, Universal Studios’ Jaws ride, one of the Orlando theme park’s original attractions since it opened in 1990, will close on January 2nd to make room for a new attraction that has yet to be announced.

“We know you love JAWS! and we do too,” reads the website. “It has been an amazing attraction, and after terrorizing the waters of Amity here at Universal Orlando for 20 years, it’s a VERY important part of our history. So we’ve got a couple things planned to ensure we always remember and honor it. We know it’s hard to say goodbye, but we can’t express how EXCITED we are about the new, innovative & amazing experience we’re going to be bringing you.

Here’s an idea: Get rid of the friggin’ Waterworld attraction at Universal Hollywood and bring it to California.

On behalf of both Jaws and horror fans everywhere, we’d like to take this moment to simply say …

Screw you.

Worst News of the Week: Universal Orlando Closing Jaws Ride

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Steve Barton

You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be.

  • Sirand

    Why don’t they update the JAWS ride instead of getting rid of it? And what crappy modern property are they gonna substitute it with?

  • doctor_sapirstein

    Strangely enough, I happened to watch Kevin Smith’s movie Mallrats last night, which at the end featured two characters getting married on the Jaws ride, so this bums me out even more. What do you call that, “un-serendipity”?