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Sharks in Venice!

Sharks in Venice!In 1999 they brought us the original Shark Attack

In 2001 they came back for seconds in Shark Attack 2

In 2002 they unleashed the masterpiece that is Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

In 2003 they dropped the “attack” and replaced it with Shark Zone

In 2005 they added aliens to the mix and let loose Raging Sharks

Also in 2005, they had a shark walk upright in Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy

Now, in the year of our Lord 2008, they’re bringing the sharks back… and the canals of Venice will run red with the blood of man.

Nu Image proudly presents… SHARKS IN VENICE

Like Snakes on a Plane, this is another brilliant movie title that also doubles as the film’s plot synopsis too.

The great Gregory Conley at the wonderful website Your Video Store Shelf has broken the news that Nu Image is once again returning to the realm of man-eating sharkdom with Sharks in Venice, a film that dares to speculate what would happen if a low budget production company prone to making shark movies loaded to the gills with stock footage of actual sharks were to make yet another Jaws knock-off that this time depicts a voracious shark terrorizing the seemingly tranquil canals of Venice, Italy.

Now if you know anything about the city of Venice then you know that more or less the only means of travel is by boat since the city is pretty much half submerged to begin with. Unless, of course, the movie League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was accurate, in which case there are also roadways on which cars can speed along doing about 100 mph.

But getting back to Sharks in Venice, directing this bad boy will be none other than Nu Image honcho himself Danny Lerner, a man no stranger to shark-on-human action having previously directed both Shark Zone and Raging Sharks.

Now the bad news … Sharks in Venice will star human charisma vacuum Stephen Baldwin, a man with such a knack for sucking the life out any production he appears in I wouldn’t be shocked to learn that he sustains himself in real life by feeding off the essence of Gelflings. Yes, I recently re-watched The Dark Crystal. Sue me.

Interestingly enough, his co-star (and most likely love interest) will be Vanessa Johansson, older sister to the much lusted after Scarlett, soon to be seen in what will no doubt be her breakout role as “Receptionist” in Steve Miner’s upcoming Day of the Dead remake.

Nu Image has only just recently wrapped production on Sharks in Venice, so I wouldn’t expect to see it rearing its head onto DVD or the Sci-Fi Channel – whichever comes first – until sometime next year.

Oh, and Sharks in Venice was filmed on location in cost-effective Bulgaria. I realize Bulgaria is pretty much the go-to country for B-filmmakers wanting to make movies on the cheap, but how the hell are they going to pass off Bulgarian locales for the very distinct waterlogged vista that is Venice? I smell more stock footage.

The Foywonder

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Jon Condit