Saturday Morning Massacre Dispatches Nosey Kids

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Saturday Morning Massacre Dispatches Nosey Kids“…and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!. Just how many episodes of “Scooby Doo” ended with that line? And did anyone ever wonder why the criminals were able to bamboozle the entire town and police squad with their schemes only to be foiled by a dog and four stoner kids who rolled into town two days earlier in a van that had to smell like malted hops, bong resin and dog farts? We’ve got some info on a new movie where the meddling kids don’t necessarily fare so well.

Directed by Spencer Parsons and starring Ashley Spillers, Josephine Decker and Jonny Mars, Saturday Morning Massacre follows some meddling paranormal investigators trying to make a buck. From the information we’ve managed to glean thus far, there is no talking dog in this film.

Saturday Morning Massacre is currently in post-production, and its official website,, will be launching soon. Kudos on my new favorite website name. We’ll keep you posted on this one.

From the Press Release
Imagine if all the meddling kids from Saturday morning cartoons really did go out and try to solve crimes, uncover murders and get in the middle of really sticky situations. I can assure you they wouldn’t get out unscathed…if even alive.

In Saturday Morning Massacre a team of amateur paranormal investigators struggle to make ends meet by debunking reports of supernatural incidents. With the group on the verge of bankruptcy, Nancy takes on a case involving rumors of suspicious disappearances and violent deaths linked with the abandoned Kyser schoolhouse. Discounting rumors of satanic practices, the team proceeds, desperately chasing cash and the opportunity to encounter their lives’ work – to catch a real ghost.

On a tour guided by the local sheriff, the team members learn of the schoolhouse’s gruesome past. Despite his advice to spend the night in a hotel, they decide to stay; they set up their gear and prepare for nightfall. When the sun goes down, the truth comes out: The Kyser house isn’t haunted – it’s inhabited by a sadistic feral family with an insatiable appetite for torture.

Saturday Morning Massacre is a bloody parody of mystery cartoons and the consequences of meddling with the supernatural. The film stars Ashley Spillers (Slacker 2011), Josephine Decker (IFC Films’ Uncle Kent & Autoerotic), Jonny Mars, Adam Tate and Paul Gordon (The Happy Poet) with Heather Kafka (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ’03), Sean Ryan, Wyeth Miller and Sonny Carl Davis (Thelma & Louise, Lonesome Dove).

Directed by Spencer Parsons (Slacker 2011, IFC Films’ I’ll Come Running), Saturday Morning Massacre was produced by Jason Wehling (Indie Spirit Winner for August Evening), Jesse Lyda (The Least of These) and Jonny Mars (The Happy Poet) and was written by Jason Wehling, Jory Balsimo and Aaron Leggett. Other members of the production crew include Adam Donaghey (IFC Films’ Lovers of Hate, Earthling), Drew Daniels, Caroline Karlen (IFC Films’ I’ll Come Running) and Don Swaynos.

…and on the subject of “Scooby-Doo,” why did Fred always run off with Daphne’s hot ass and send Velma off with Shaggy and Scooby to do all the work? Isn’t it funny that just as Velma cracked every case, Fred and Daphne would come from around the corner smelling like sex? Maybe I’ve put too much thought into this.

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Scott Hallam

We all go a little mad sometimes...haven't you?

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