DVD Release List: Cat Amongst Crap

Check out the massive list of new releases coming your way on Tuesday, July 17th, 2007…

Click to see it bigger!Baxter (1989)
Directed by Jerome Boivin

Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this one. And why the hell is Lionsgate putting it out? Aren’t they only supposed to release their own DTV stuff these days? Anyway, the French film is about a sociopathic bull terrier (yes, they do exist) that meets his ideal guardian in the form of a young boy obsessed with Hitler. The boy’s sick and twisted fascination allows the dog, Baxter, to become a full-blown killer in no time. Is the whole film done from the dog’s point of view? Cause that’d be kind of cool… Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Demon Hunting (2007)
Directed by Satoshi Torao

Man, I don’t get it. In this day and age when every single piece of information about pretty much anything is available online, why the hell is it so hard to find out about a goddamned DVD release? Seriously, it’s pretty gooddman ridiculous; if you’re selling your DVD on Amazon, is it that hard to give them a plot synopsis? Makes my life that much more difficult. Anyway, this is a Japanese film about a student at a private school who’s having visions about diabolical activities on campus, in which I’m assuming demons play a role. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Fantasma: Volume 2
Directed by Various

Wait, what happened to Volume 1? I’m really not sure, nor am I totally clear as to what this is exactly (and why the hell Bandai is putting it out), but then I’ve discovered that those who release Asian horror films don’t usually care about making it clear what the hell they really are. This one’s got “two terrifying arcs” on one disc, which I can only assume means it’s composed of two horror stories, each probably having to do with some kind of ghost or another. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Forest of the Dead (2006)
Directed by Brian Singleton

I bet you will never guess the protagonists for this movie in a million years. Seriously. All right, I’ll give you a hint: It’s the same kind of protagonists that are in all of these damn movies these days. Give up? A group of young friends who are probably in way better shape than anyone we actually know. They’re stalked by an evil in the forest that causes the dead to come back as creatures with a serious bloodlust. Well, at least it’s got cool cover art… Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Ghost Gate (2006)
Directed by Makoto Yamaguchi

Seriously, here we go again. Laguna Productions is the newest guest to the dinner party of the damned that is DVD distributors picking up any Asian title they can get their hands on. But man, why? Do you think anyone out there is really looking for Ghost Gate? I had to search for 30 minutes just to get the barest of info about it, which didn’t include a whole helluva lot about the plot. What the hell? Anyway, the movie is about students spending the weekend in an old castle and the strange stuff that happens while they’re there. Yay. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Ghost Train (2006)
Directed by Takeshi Furusawa

Oh my GOD, it’s the week of the Asian ghost movie invasion. This one does sound like it might be better than most, but I’m not holding my breath. It’s about a girl who has a shitty life to begin with, which only gets worse when the train ride she takes one night puts her smack dab in the middle of a vengeful spirit (whoa! No shit!?!) who, you know, wants revenge for something bad that was done to her when she was alive. Whoopie! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Haunted Boat (2005)
Directed by Olga Levens

Wow teenagers! In a horror film! My word how original is that? No one’s ever thought of putting teenagers in danger in a horror movie before! Someone needs to get an award for this shit. Sorry, I’m really getting sick of where the genre is going. Anyway, the teenagers here go out on a boat to party, but when the boat hits rough seas and they’re thrown off course, all manner of bad shit goes down. Or something. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)
Directed by Martiz Weisz

Speaking of bad movies that never should have hit the cinemas; apparently this was one of the worst of the year so far, though I haven’t had a chance to witness its horridness first-hand yet. It’s unrated, though, so I’m sure if nothing else there will be a little more gore, right? This time the story is about National Guardsmen who head out to the deserts for some routine training and are assaulted by the family of cannibalistic madman left over from the first film. Be sure to check our our Hills Have Eyes 2 DVD review for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Masters of Horror: The Black Cat (2007)
Directed by Stuart Gordon

Now this is much better. Quite possibly my favorite episode from Season 2 (of what I’ve seen, of course), Gordon’s re-telling of Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tale is done with just enough ingenuity and inventiveness to make it something completely unique. Instead of telling the story as Poe wrote it, he puts the situations the tale’s protagonist goes through into the life story of Poe’s final days, who is played brilliantly by Jeffrey Combs, finally getting a chance to show his real range. Be sure to read our “Black Cat” DVD review for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Most Haunted: The Collection
Directed by Various

A crew of ghost hunters attempt to find the truth of famous hauntings by locking themselves in reputedly haunted locations for 24 hours, just to see what goes down. For the first time ever they’ve collected all the episodes of freaky and not-so-freaky occurrences, most of which are most likely staged down to the most minute detail. I mean really, how boring would it be if nothing actually happened everytime they went into a place? Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Mr. Halloweeen (2007)
Directed by Andrew Wolf

A small town in upstate New York. Kids go missing far more often there than they do anywhere else, and every Halloween a local creepy guy puts on a haunted house that allegedly utilizes the pieces of the missing children for props. Instead of cracking down on him via the FBI, it’s up to a local bumbling cop and an inquisitive girl to bring his reign of terror to an end. Riiiiight. Sounds like another soon-to-be classic. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!Perfect Creature (2007)
Directed by Glenn Standring

The time is the future, a future in which not only are vampires not villianized, they’re seen as the next evolutionary step for most humans. A virus breaks loose, however, that turns vampire against man, and the delicate balance of peace that has existed between the species is destroyed almost overnight. So what does that have to do with a creature of perfection? Check out our Perfect Creature DVD review for more! Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!The Promise Keeper (2006)
Directed by Martin Whitehead

What the hell is this? A horror movie with lawyers as the protagonists? Why? I guess it does make sense to a point, since they’re pretty horrific creatures to begin with, but they shouldn’t be heroes. What we have here is a story about an African nail fetish doll that shows up at a Chicago law firm and causes all manner of fuckupery to the three lawyers who come into contact with it. Things get worse when one of their teenage daughters accidentally swears a sacred oath on the artifact. Buy it here!

Click to see it bigger!With You (2006)
Directed by Jason Christensen

An office lackey decides to quit his daily grind and heads out to the country for a more simple life. He moves into a farmhouse that overlooks Moloch Manor, a local abandoned estate that’s reportedly haunted. Strange and freaky shit begins happening all around him, and pretty soon he’s digging deeper and deeper into the history of the Manor and little cottage he calls his own, only to learn some terrifying truths. Buy it here!

Johnny Butane

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Jon Condit

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