MTV Movie Awards Award Twilight Everything … Again

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Like Muslims making the annual pilgrimage to Mecca, Twi-Hards last night made their annual pilgrimage to the MTV Movie Awards to ensure that their favorite franchise was awarded everything under the sun for the third consecutive year.

At the point, for at least two more years, MTV (winners here) might as well not even bother nominating anything else besides Breaking Dawn since the yearly ritual remains presenting the Best Movie to anything in The Twilight Saga (Eclipse, this time), Best Actress to Kristen Stewart, Best Actor to Robert Pattinson, Best Kiss to Stewart and Pattinson, and this time Best Fight also somehow went to The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. I’m thoroughly convinced the only reason Reese Witherspoon was presented with the Generation Award career achievement honor stems from her having once appeared in another movie entitled Twilight and someone behind the scenes got confused.

A few of the other awards that fans allowed non-Twilight related performers to take home are even more downright baffling.

Best Scared-As-Shit Performance to Ellen Page in Inception? I don’t understand that one at all.

Most Jaw Dropping Moment to Justin Bieber for shaking his booty in 3D in that concert movie?

The single most mind-boggling award winner of the evening had to have been Best Villain going to Tom Felton for his role as Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 1. I fully realize this category was extremely weak (Christoph Waltz – Green Hornet, Mickey Rourke – Iron Man 2, Leighton Meester – The Roommate, Lotso the Bear – Toy Story 3), but Draco Malfoy is like the least villainous villain at this point in the Harry Potter movies. There’s like half a dozen bad guys in that film higher up the totem pole of villainy than the guy who won the award. This would be like having a performer from Return of the Jedi win best villain but instead of Darth Vader or The Emperor or Jabba the Hut or Boba Fett or even the Rancor Monster, instead Salacious Crumb took home the prize. I suppose if Salacious Crumb had been portrayed as a cute blonde guy, an award show in which teenage girls comprise 90% of the voting block would have ensured his villainous award victory.

In other news, MTV continues to suck and teenagers once again prove why the United States government wisely prohibits them from voting in general elections.

MTV Movie Awards  Award Twilight Everything ... .Again

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  • kiddcapone

    I don’t know what’s more sad, the fact all shit Twilight still hasn’t vanished from pop culture yet or the fact I know who the fuck Salacious Crumb is…

  • Masked Slasher

    Nobody quite writes disgust as well as Foy.

  • Terminal

    Hilarious article. Kudos.
    “We are bad guys. That means we’ve got more to do other than bullying companies. It’s fun to lead a bad man’s life.”

  • Sirand

    Hey, there’s always Teen Wolf…


  • Vanvance1

    Good article. If MTV and Twilight have to be covered on DC Foy is the one to do it. Snide in an amusing way.